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Introduction Text I am happily engaged to very loving and thoughtful man. Have been together for over 3 years and can't wait to be his wife. Was hoping that 2015 was going to be the year when we took the next and biggest step. Well as everyone knows 2015 has come and gone so am wishing will become his wife in 2016 now really need a happy and positive occasion this year. Will just have to wait and see. Well 2016 has come and gone now is 2017 and if have my way about it this year I'll be come this wonderful man's wife. Sadly I am not very energetic and till now was always looking for shortcuts to lose weight. Now that it a new year have decided that is time to live a more healthy lifestyle and stop looking for the quick fixes have looked for before. The only thing that might be a quick fix that I might consider is something to help suppress my appetite and/or cravings for the wrong things to eat or drink. I am trying to make the days of looking for the diet shortcuts be behind me and accept that I have to be willing to work for that myself not just expect a pill or shake to do all the work. As of now, 9-19-2015 I have lost 18lbs . I know it will take a lot of work on my part to get off this plateau which means have to make some more changes in my life. Starting today even though have put a lot of weight back on can't let it get me down. I am trying not to let being diagnosed with SLE make me feel too negative cause it will only make all the positive progress that my medications have made in controlling my mental health take a back slide. I have many positive people and things in my life just got to remember that. The newest positive thing in my life is fact that found 2 teams on here that have made me realize that I am not alone in dealing with this, I'm very thankful for the Sparks with Lupus and SLE teams. The people in these teams know and understand what I am feeling and how SLE is affecting my life. As my blog's and posts on the prayer sites and my page have shown 2016 really through me some major curve balls. Not only is our old dog Bambi sick with cancer but 2 of my aunt's have it too. Bambi is still with us poor girl has lost all her vision and bladder function and I know she doesn't like it when she has an accident. As for my 2 aunt's one I recently heard is doing well with her treatment plan on. But as far as the other one just like Bambi is too far gone and there is nothing that a doctor can do for her. The news about my aunt has really upset my mom cause she is her last sister that is still with us along with the rest of the family on my mom's side. As for my health the SLE has caused a lot more oral problems that are very noticeable Also my rash gets more noticeable especially when go outside on windy days. Got stuff to cover it but just haven't tried it yet. That to me isn't a top priority.I haven't figured out why but keep falling and hurting my knees and hips. Doctor says only thing have done so far is bruised the bone and/or muscle that is what is causing my pain making exercising harder to do. Still haven't been given clearance to have the oral surgery I need to have done, just had another blood lab done to check my iron level. Other than that my health is pretty much the same. I've made reading Christian readings like the daily word,and today's word a daily thing I do and it helps me feel better about a lot of things. Thank goodness that 2017 has come and gone and hello 2018. 2017 was a really bad year for me and my family (my fiancé included.) A year of lots of pain, sadness, and loss for all of my family and friends. Praying that 2018 will be a lot nicer to us all. Cause of a lot of the above and other trouble that 2017 put in our path it was another year that had come and gone. Another year that kept me from becoming the wonderful man in my life's bride, Another year that even though he refers to me to others as his wife and better half couldn't do it legally yet. Well we just have to see if this year is the one when it happens for us two. Well sadly 2018 wasn't that much better for us at all. I don't think we had any loss last year but when it gets close to the day of our loss we get really sad, my fiancé gets very sad. Last year we had extremely bad car trouble and had to just forget it cause we would have one thing fixed and then another would happen. We also had trouble in our home with water freezing, patio cover breaking more and coming down more and more. So yeah 2018 was another bad year for us. It just wasn't the right time for us yet to get married legally again. With all the problems I mentioned above and our bills piling up I understand. So welcoming 2019. 2019 started out the same with our water freezing. We don't know why would still be when it has warmed up outside. If not still frozen then having no water is really confusing us. A good thing is that our friend at a car lot took our dead truck as a trade so we would have a reliable vehicle of our own. Renting a car every now and then was just a bill we didn't need. Well our new car is a wonderful red Toyota Corolla LE and cause of all the extras who knows when start feeling better maybe I will even drive it. Three days ago I had all the rest of my teeth pulled and am still feeling it and not in a good way either. Ouch :( Also found out this year that my brother has cancer and that is another pain and worry for my family and friends. And this is only April. Well 2020 was one of the worst years for me and my fiancé. This was the year that i lost my true love, my life, and soulmate on 8/14/2020 my fiancé of over 8 yrs had a serious heart attack that took his life. I'll never find another that I loved so much and loved me as much again. I won't even try he was the last man I will ever love again like that. Only men that will ever love again are going to be family and friends.

To live a healthier life. Live in the present and let the past stay in the past. Remember can't change everything and what I can change will take work. Try new things that will make me feel healthier. Keep appointments with the specialists that doctor suggests for me.

Drink only diet drinks Eat sugar in moderation Eat healthier Be more positive Try new things that will make me feel healthier. Keep appointments with the specialists that doctor suggests for me.

I live in Michigan but was born in Texas.

I like any movie and television series that makes me think. The TV series' that I am into are all the NCIS's Criminal Minds, all the CSI's, and any others that make me think. I used to watch The Listener and Forever before they went off of air I also enjoy movies and mysteries on the Hallmark Channel. I like poetry, Robert Frost is my favorite and sometimes I like to write some myself.

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