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me, March 2009

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me, December 2008


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I'm torn on if I want to share this or not. I dislike having to share bad news, but on the other hand I could use the support.

I got a call from my doctor that she needed to speak to me in person about my blood results. It turns out I have full on Stage 2 Diabetes. My doctor said this shouldn't be happening to me, but she's sure she knows what's causing it and feels it can be reversed.

When I went to see the doctor 2.5 years ago after the attempted kidnapping, my weight wasn't that bad. I was over the suggested weight for my height, but I was wearing a size 8 and figured I could get rid of the weight with exercise. The doctor diagnosed me with PTSD, and it was this period of time I started becoming a comfort eater. I'd eat if I was happy, it I was sad, if I was anxious, if I was bored. It didn't matter if I was hungry or not, I coped by eating.

I've had two babies, and I didn't have gestational diabetes either time. I didn't have to do the 3-hr test either time. I had a healthy sugar level, it was always on the low side of healthy.

This past week, as I sat with my doctor, she showed me how I've put on 50 pounds over the past 2 years. My numbers weren't suggesting I was pre-diabetic, either, they suggested it was full on. She told me I couldn't have cane sugar or brown sugar, no starch which includes my beloved potatoes and pasta. She said I can't go barefoot anymore either, I have to wear socks and preferably shoes except when I'm in bed. She suggested I treat sugar and starch like I'm allergic to it instead of I can't have it. If I keep in mind having even a little bit will wreak havoc on my body, I'll be more inclined to stay away.

She gave me a pill I have to take twice a day that lowers my sugar, and I have to exercise / strength train and do yoga. I have to lose 2 pounds per week and keep it off. If I can do this, she won't put me on insulin and she's confident my having Diabetes can be reversed. If I can't do this, I'll be put on Insulin shots, I'll have to prick my finger several times a day to test my sugar, and I'll have to learn to manage a third disease in my life.

On one hand it's a relief this happened. The past few months I've been sleeping way too much, I've had pimples and dry skin patches, I've fallen asleep after eating, I've had the shakes, headaches, etc. It's all the Diabetes. I've also been fighting my food addiction and haven't had much success, will now my doctor is monitoring everything and I have to have success.

Mike is supporting me by not eating anything I can't have in front of me until I get some more control over this and I get used to my new diet. We're also not bringing any food into the house that I'm not allowed to eat. That way if I do go on a food binge, it'll be brocoli, not ice cream.

For those of you I see in person, it would be a big help if our time together wasn't centered around food, especially food I can't eat / I'm allergic to until I get more self control. I'd rather we not meet up to go to the diner and stuff like that. It won't always be this way, but it's what I need for now. I need to limit my temptations.

I am 99% sure I have a gym buddy, I have to message her and see if we're still on. I would love to hear from local friends who do yoga to find out prices and to see if that's something I could do. I think I'd get more out of it at a studio with an instructor who can correct my form if I'm doing something wrong than trying to do it all off of youtube videos. I'd also love to get recipes that are Diabetes friendly so I can focus on food I CAN have instead of thinking about food I can't. And I'd also love to hear from others who have dealt with a food addiction and beat it so I can get tips.

Thanks for listening.

Member Since: 5/3/2009

Fitness Minutes: 45

My Goals:
I want to get down to 120 pounds, no longer be Diabetic, have control over my food addiction, and have the reflection in the mirror match the image of myself in my head.

My Program:
I'm working on redoing my entire diet, going back to the gym, and finding a Yoga Studio that offers Gentle Yoga at a rate I can afford.

Personal Information:

Gloucester County, NJ

age 38

Other Information:

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 current weight: 175.0 
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