I'm blowing it!
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
I am so incredibly frustrated with my eating habits lately. Since I started exercising in late February it's basically been a free-for-all. I am so stinkin' hungry all the time! I know I'm probably not eating enough, but because I have gotten out of the habit of planning out my food the night before, I come home and eat "crap" that I know I should not be eating. Then, I justify it because I've worked out.
As much as I love having the Heart Rate Monitor (HRM), it's added another dimension that I hadn't considered. Get this...because I know how many calories I've burned, I AGAIN justify all of these little snacks that I should NOT be eating!! The crazy thing is that I am immediately pissed off at myself. Every Sunday night, I'll tell myself that I'm going to work out my eating schedule for the week so that I avoid these pitfalls, but Sunday comes and go and nothing, nada! Sigh.
I have been working out like a nut-case! I could be down a lot of weight by now. I'm not minimizing the success I've had to date, but clearly the self-sabotage that's going on has got to stop! I have not been keeping my food journal at all and I know it's the one thing that helped keep me on track. I have got to start writing it all down again and quit messing around. Jeez!!
The truth is I am so sick and tired of counting calories! I've been at this since November 1st and it's getting really old. I'm bored with the food, but don't really know how to fix that. I just don't have the energy I had before to revisit my food choices and come up with new ones. I emailed the nutritionist at the weight loss center that I go to and asked her for some help. I just wanted her take on what to eat so that I could maintain muscle mass and lose fat. She was so wishy washy that I didn't even respond to her email other than "Thank you for responding to my email." That was it! She clearly has no idea how to help someone who's lifting weights and wants to maintain muscle mass. She even went so far to say that she really would not recommend P90X for most people. This woman probably weighs 98 lbs and has about 20 lbs of lean muscle mass! Seriously.
Boy, I could really use someone like Jillian Michaels or Bob Harper in my life. I know I need to just reread Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle and get to work, but I am just tired. I don't want to go through the "trial and error" that you have to go through to figure out what works for you. I just don't. So, I keep doing what I've been doing, but my boredom is going to get the best of me, I can just tell. I am so close, but yet so very far!
The contest ends in less than 2 weeks and honestly haven't progressed as far as I had hoped in terms of my eating habits. I have really got to get this under control (not in a neurotic way) before I end up letting the weight creep back up. That is NOT going to happen!