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How does personal guilt stop you on your progress to your goals?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

This was a question posted on the 10K steps a day team. I wanted to kind of ponder it so I am a day late to answer this question.

First I considered all the things that I feel guilty about, stuff from early childhood all the way through now. I could give you a list but, that would not accomplish anything.

I think that the biggest thing for me with guilt and my goals it that I want myself to have a total transformation and be perfect. I tend towards black and white thinking. So I will for example think I should give up sugar. This happened a couple of months ago. I gave up sugar perfectly for 2 weeks. Then I had a day that I did not plan my food well and I had baked some cookies for family members to take places. It was evening dinner was late and I needed to leave. I was hungry and grabbed a cookie. I ate that one and then a another. I stopped myself at that point that day. Then the next day I felt guilty. I ate several more cookies that day before I started giving up cookies again. (I just reread this and realized I should have said sugar instead of cookies. I wonder what that says?LOL)

I don't know if my problem is guilt or black and white thinking. I feel bad when I don't completely succeed at my goals and then I am slow to start over some of the time.

I also occasionally struggle with eating because I feel guilty about something but, I have come so far on that one that it is a small problem. I do pretty good about only eating when I am hungry.

Sometimes I don't give myself fully to the experience because I feel guilty that I cannot do whatever the activity better or that in trying to do something unfamiliar I will hurt someone's feelings. Believe me I can feel guilty for days on that one. I have even done that here online at SP.

I guess the progress towards my goal that is slowed or stopped is because I might hurt someone's feelings by doing something selfish.

I don't know I guess there was not enough stewing time on this answer so I will close now and read todays thread.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hmm ... I think the problem with an all or nothing attitude is that it usually results in nothing. I find that I do better when I take a goal and break it down into baby steps. It doesn't feel as restrictive, and it helps me incorporate healthy behaviour over time.

    Good for you for targeting sugar (cookies - LOL). Sugar is like crack cocaine, and it is terrible for our health!
    4019 days ago
    THanks for your blog, stop feeling guilty, we are all not perfect. It takes courage to post your feelings and I applaud you.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4021 days ago
  • FITKAT2010
    You got to the core issue:I will hurt someone. This is fear of success! I also suffer from this. I have successfully healed major sections of my life of this issue. How? By realizing that I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHERS OPINIONS, ISSUES, FAILURES, PAIN, ETC. Period!

    It takes repeated effort. Pick one item in your goal on food, exercise, etc. Then, do it and be consistent: 90 days. Then, another, etc. Each time someone wants to blame you for whatever they are going through, stop, and smile, and let them know that is impossible! LOL If you had the power to effect them, you would MAKE them happy! That will stop them in their tracks!

    You get emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4021 days ago
  • TEDYBEAR2838
    Ok, emoticon striving for perfection. Just strive to be the BEST person YOU can be. With all your faults and failures. NO ONE is perfect, so while you are still young, do your best and don't worry about the rest.

    4021 days ago
    release the guilt!
    4021 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/24/2009 6:10:23 PM
  • 4MYPTS
    have you ever realized that when you are perfect, you disappear, you return home to Heavenly Father, so if you're ready to go home, I applaud you. Personally I'm striving to be great in many ways although I'm not ready to return home, I have a lot of work left to do.

    emoticon to you on your decision!
    4022 days ago
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