Thursday, March 04, 2010
Could it be that this minor illness is a blessing in disguise? That sounds almost blasphemous, especially on a fitness site. And yet I have learned so much from being sick this time...
Of course I've learned to be more patient. There is no choice but to learn that from Bell's palsy since it refuses to be placated and will take its own time. It's immune to feeble sacrifices and must have its full measure.
I've also learned about kindness. How miraculous is the thoughtfulness of the Spark nation, of colleagues at work and friends and neighbors. My teenagers! It has been an abiding wonder to see how surrounded I am by love and support.
But perhaps the most precious lesson was humility. To accept, finally, my "new" frailty has been harder than I'd like to admit. I'm used to doing, finishing, covering, coping, making it, patching it together, succeeding... And now, suddenly, my cover is blown. I have to admit---because half of my face is broadcasting that fact---that I have weaknesses, that I'm vulnerable, that I need help. I'm suddenly exposed, naked, bleeding.
The odd thing, the surprising thing, is how new, how promising, how exciting that feels. How full of portent and potential...