Saturday, March 06, 2010
I'm still working on cultivating patience. Every day I wake expecting to be "cured," and every day I have to learn anew to slow down instead, to abandon old notions of what I think I can do, to accept the limitations of now. Each day I get a repeat lesson in the process of aging, a new reminder that my body is still frail, always was, in fact. I used to be able to ignore that stark truth of life, but now I must learn and relearn to accept it. Yes, it is a privilege to be able to run, to walk, to lift, to stretch, to blink... Even reading, so essential to everything I do and am, is a privilege, a treat that must now be savored in small portions. How carelessly I treated that privilege before now. How offhanded my approach. How wasteful. Will this small trial teach me to stop squandering my gifts? Will I choose differently each and every day now? Will I hold each hour close? Will I treasure every passing minute?