So April stank...

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Okay, I feel like this is a confession. I have not been doing well--at all. In fact, tonight is the first time I have logged on in almost a month. I felt like I was doing well and I was so happy at my success that I gave myself permission to "relax" a bit. And since then, it has truly been a downward spiral.

Right before Easter, I weighed in and discovered that I had lost 20 pounds since my start date. I was elated. But I rationalized and thought, I am not going to record this weight loss because I will probably gain a couple of pounds after Easter, so I will wait and see where I am. I left my weight loss at 15 lbs. on the computer and allowed myself some wiggle room.

So in one month, I have gained back not only the five pounds I was willing to let myself have, but an additional five more. I went from a weight loss of 20 to a weight loss of 10 in 30 days. I am so disappointed!

I have actually been avoiding logging on because I knew I was going to have to be honest with myself and my friends on SP.

So that's where I was...where am I now. I am trying to make the proper steps to correct this problem. I want to pick myself up and start again. I still have 10lbs weight loss on my side and I don't want to lose that, too. I'm not sure exactly how to do this because I was vegan when most of my weight loss happened and now that Lent is over, I'm not. So I have to find some new strategies in terms of good food choices. Also, this quarter (right after Easter as well) I started student teaching. I had a gym schedule that was working prior to working fulltime hours and now that I am working (in addition to my three classes and three kids) I don't even know when to go to the gym. I am so exhausted at the end of the day! I am praying that God will provide me with some extra energy and will power to create an effective schedule to go to the gym regularly and get back on track. And I can see the light...student teaching ends at the end of May.

This blog is a request for some prayers and advice. Please pray for me to get focused and to start again. I want to forgive myself and not have an all or nothing attitude. Obviously, that doesn't work. I am in a bit of a painful place and I know that pain is what triggers growth, so I am hoping that I will grow (not physically!) :)

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    I will be praying. I struggle with an "all or nothing" attitude too. Just keep picking yourself back up. The past couple of months I was feeling like I could "relax" a bit too with the food tracking and logging in to SP, but I slowly started to eat less healthy. I have just decided that SP will be part of my life and hopefully an encouraging one. There have been so many Bakersfield people who have come and gone since I've been on here and I hope you stick around. Maybe one day we'll actually get to meet one another! Lots of love and hugs...Sarah
    4020 days ago
    I will ask God to help you..
    I find that if I allow myself to take an inch that I will take a mile. I have to keep my mind in a diet mentality or I will do myself in and lose all my progress. It's much harder to get back in that mentality once you let it slip away and that is where I'm at, taking just one thing each day and adding another thing tomorrow until I get back on track. I have "diet fatigue" so I'm taking it slowly. Good luck to you.
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    4020 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/6/2010 11:15:14 AM
    Stay Strong!!! You are right! You still have a 10lb loss in your favor!!!!! I will keep you in my prayers.. There is a prayer that is prayed in my church. It basically says that God surrounds us with a camp of angels that guard and guide us. I try to keep this in my mind constantly when thinking of food/exercise and finding the time to workout!

    4021 days ago
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