For this week's challenge, we are to write about possible emotional issues that resulted in our weight gain and how we plan to fight the inner demons
that seem to sabotage us on this journey.
When thinking about what issues resulted in my weight gain, I believe it involves not knowing my "true" identity.
When I say my "true" identity, one might ask was I adopted and the answer is "no". I think through out my life I have been trying to emulate others instead of being my true self. Growing up, my sister played instruments and was into all types of sports. I did not have the patience to learn any notes and I hated to sweat. However, I felt that I had to somehow be like her and failed miserably.
Next, I was like I will be the "smart" one (my sister was smart too) but I think her other talents shined more. So in school, my identity surrounded being the "smart" girl which was fine until I hit college where there were millions of smart people. I struggled throughout college and thought that I was not smart and perceived that as another failure. I went through this cycle with jobs also.
With each failure, I turned to food as my comfort which caused weight gain. After I quit my job, I realized that by always trying to define myself with a "label" I was doomed for failure.
I realized that I am "indefinable" which means I don't label or limit myself. In the South, they have a saying that "God don't make junk". If I am created by God, than I have unlimited potential and me defining myself and eating like crazy only hinders this potential.
After saying all of that, you would probably think that I have had smooth sailing in this healthy lifestyle walk. So untrue!!!! Saying it and BELIEVING it are two separate items. I would love to say I encountered a Miracle and I believed that I have this potential over night but it hasn't happened. However, what has happened is that I am more grateful for the little things that occur in my life that is allowing me to see my potential.
So, how do I plan to fight those
that surround me constantly:
1) Continue writing a grateful journal every day
2) Waking up each morning and asking God to lead my day and send constant reminders of my true identity.