Going on a Cruise, but Not Trying to Fall Back into My Bad Habits

Sunday, January 09, 2011

In 43 days, I'm boarding a ship to go on a cruise with my boyfriend and another couple. After really facing the fact that I have binge eating disorder and seeing a therapist, I realize that I can't be like everyone else. I can't count calories because that always turns obsessive. Limits turn into rebellious, secretive behavior. Nevertheless, I'v been borderline tempted to say I want to lose xx lbs by so and so date as a result of this cruise. I've learned with my BED therapist that I have to not obsess, but just live in the every day moment with each decision and keep a food journal along the way. I realize that this way actually helps me to lose weight, but it is a very very slow process as opposed to counting calories and minusing from exercise.
I don't want to go back into the wrong direction that pushes me into eating in secret again. That's such a dark place full of self-hatred, disgust, guilt, shame, etc. This cruise though...this cruise involves bikinis etc. It's really hard to not have an event like this coming up without being able to say I want to lose this amount of weight before this date/event. I think I need to chat this out with my doc.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I agree - you definitely need to chat it out with your doctor. BUT in the meantime I just want to remind you how freaking STRONG you are!! Remember how scary it was to be going home and how it caused you to stress about everything...and look - you survived it and then some! You don't give yourself enough credit...don't make the cruise about how you LOOK. Make it about having a great time with your BF and this other couple. Make it about doing some fun, new activities. Make it about feeling good in YOUR skin. :-)

    You can do it!!!
    3751 days ago
    Stay strong and follow your therapist's advice. I really admire your strength in getting help with your eating disorder. What you're doing now is slower, but so much better for you in the long run. Hopefully you'll be able to enjoy the cruise without slipping back into that mindset.
    3751 days ago
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