Thursday, October 06, 2011
I 'm not much for writing about my feelings and stuff, but it's worth a try. It might help. So this is Week 1 for me being active in a weight loss competition of any sort. I've tried a million diets in the past, but I always found a way to sabotage myself after either small successes or for success coming too slowly. So I realized that perhaps if I involved other people who are also in a similar place, perhaps that could help me stay on track. I have found that I don't so much mind letting myself down, but I really hate letting other people down. I'm sure that's not healthy, but that's how it's been.
So, here goes. I want to lose a lot of weight. I'm turning 30 in less than a month and after years and years of wanting to be thin, I think I owe it to myself this year to at least get under 200 by my birthday. That is my current motivation more than anything else I think. I don't have much time, but I was 208 on the scale this morning, so it actually is do-able. I would be happy waking up November 1 and seeing 199 on the scale. I mean that seriously would make my day een if I don't have a party or even a cupcake. And then it would mark the beginning of a new era for me. Not only would I be a year older, but hopefully that much wiser also because it will show that I had actually been able to accomplish something this year that I had not been able to do last year.
So I'm excited. A little scared of failure too, but mostly excited. If I can just learn to cope with the other ups and downs in my life without turning to food for comfort, I think I just might make it.