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Venting a little.

Friday, September 21, 2012

So, I just need to vent a little. Maybe this is something others besides myself have experienced.
I hate it when someone presumes to tell me what I should or shouldn't think or what I should or shouldn't feel.
Whenever I vent to someone, I get "oh, cheer up, it's not that bad." Or, "you shouldn't get so angry," or (my favorite), "you need to just get over it & move on." Then there are those who see this as an opportunity to not only tell me about their own problems, but try to out-do me with "my problem is so much worse than yours."
I think these people believe they mean well, but it frustrates me. One of the reasons for my emotional binging over the years is that I have been stuffing my real feelings down because they seem to make others uncomfortable.
I can't do that anymore.
I love my family & friends, & the last thing I want to accomplish is to alienating anyone. I know most of them think they're helping, but . . . .

Am I the only one who is tired of being criticized for having feelings about something that someone else thinks you shouldn't, simply because THEY DON'T feel that way?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KITTEN333
    In response to AZTLAN777 - Yeah, I hear ya. As a child I was always told by my parents to march to my own beat & I didn't have to follow the "in" crowd & if one of my friends jumped off a bridge, would I do it too? I took that to mean that it was ok to think on my own & have my own opinions. Then they would contradict that. If I was sad then I shouldn't be sad, if I was angry I needed to not be so angry, if I was scared it was ridiculous 'cause there was nothing to be scared of. Look at "so & so" they're not afraid.
    I have dealt with this contradiction my whole life. I didn't usually give thought to what I felt about a situation, but rather, what was I supposed to feel or expected to feel.

    I mean I really do own my own emotions now, I really do. I just want people to understand that when I need to vent to someone, that it doesn't mean that I want them to fix anything. I just wanted someone to listen.

    Thank you for responding so gently to this. I was sure someone would respond negatively to this blog. So, really, thank you.
    2990 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/21/2012 2:51:37 PM
  • KWEENIE777
    The world is full of "know-it-alls" and people with superiority views. I have been around them my entire life! With time, I learned to just hear it and let it go out the other ear, then say to them, "That is nice you feel that way" and "I gotta go!" I know when it's family or friends it is difficult but there is no one more important than you and your journey to health and well being. I don't know, maybe because I am older, I am not attached to people so, I am very selective who I allow to be that close to me that they affect my well-being. At any rate, you have the right to be tired of it, no one enjoys being criticized for not agreeing with an opposing opinion. Maybe saying something like "Everyone has a differing opinion and don't have to agree!" This difference is what makes us each unique. Good luck and keep your spark bright! Hugs emoticon

    2990 days ago
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