Wednesday, December 05, 2012
So I'm starting over all over. I gained every bit back. I have had so much stress and heartache the last 2 almost 3 years have been like a roller coaster ride. Its crazy i have been through things i never would have thought of. I have went through depression, stress, anxiety, a lot of things that have taken a toll on me both mentally and physically. I am so ready to start over and reclaim my life. Its very difficult slowly but surely I am paying my debt off, I have a new job now I got last April and trying every day to take care of a lot of heartaches and stress in my life. Sense my new job I've gained about 50 pounds, its a very sedetery job even the days there is more work to do its not that much. Its a stressful job and doubles are about the only way to make enough money to be worth it. I am set on being self employed although i know that takes time i know I can do it. For now i will just make money on the side and work to be successful as possible now. I dont see myself working long term at this place, just to pay off the bills and get myself comfortable as possible until i can make it without this job and who knows how long that will take but I believe its worth fighting for. I have a lot of goals and dreams and I'm not giving up on any of it. I've had a lot of lemons and no lemonade I'm afraid but i know this isnt forever and as long as i work hard and believe I can change the way things have become. I cant wait to see the day where i can breathe and relax. I have so much anxiety and stress and I know that it contributes to my weight. Its hard to see yourself fit and happy with your body when your not fit and happy with your mind. But its not too late for me, I just have a lot of work to do.