Goal weight – who do I need to convince.

Friday, February 01, 2013

A goal weight is hard to define. At 145lbs, 2lbs from now, I will be in the healthy BMI range. So I should be happy there – right?

But I have been down to 143lbs but didn’t stay there? Why? Because I was not happy with my body! I knew that I still carried a lot of fat, especially around my middle area. So looking back I now realise that I was in a way disappointed that having reached my goal weight I still was not happy! That unhappiness and confusion led to not having any clear plan on what to do from then on, which of course led to gaining weight again!

So am I ever going to be happy with my body at any weight? And why do I not want to go under 140lbs which I now realise I need to. I have been fooling myself that I have a big frame when actually I haven’t!!

The thing is that I know that if I go under 140lbs, I am going to get far more of the ‘oh you are too thin’ or ‘don’t lose any more or you will look terrible’ type comments (I already get them, I just know I will get more)

But I have now given myself permission to go below 140lbs. I am not going to take to heart any negative comments I get. I will see them for what they are. They don’t have to live in my body, I do. I have no wish to be sick or sickly looking. I eat far healthier when I am trying to lose weight as I try to make every calorie count! I hate wasting calories on junk!

So I am going to decide for myself when I am happy with my weight and it is not where I am at now. And my plan – to keep eating sensibly and healthily and exercising regularly, including ST! I am going to take it one step at the time and I will know when I get there!!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This is a very good question. For me... I find it to be a slippery slope of trying to reach perfection in my mind. Right now, I'm concentrating on my BMI, which is currently 20.0. I'm 5'5" and I have a medium build. I know as long as I don't go under a BMI of 18.5, then my body will find its comfort weight.
    2928 days ago
    BMI is a good indicator that you're in the right zone, but by no means is it a rule that you need to go by in deciding where you feel happy weightwise, but especially appearancewise. Also, the BMI recommended range is so broad that you have a lot of wiggle room to be on the low end or high end and still be considered "healthy".

    At the end of the day, there will always be those people who sabotage in order to make themselves feel better. You've lost this weight FOR YOURSELF, keep going by how you feel comfortable.

    I'm at 155 lbs right now with a goal of 138 lbs - but that goal weight is just a number that made a perfect 50lbs weight loss. It may be I'll be comfortable at 145, or it may be I'll only be comfortable when I get to 120 lbs.. I really don't know other than the last time I was a size 6, I was 135lbs... but I was also 20 years old.

    I think that to know where you and I will end up feeling comfortable, we will need to try it for size! Unless you are having obsessive or excessive behaviour, finding your happiness in weighloss is perfectly OK in my book. Keep at it!
    2984 days ago
    Yes! You are the one that lives in your body and as long as you feel healthy and are eating right and excersizing I don't see why losing a bit more weight could hurt. You're doing great. Its your life, live it how you want to emoticon
    2984 days ago
    Only you know what feels right for your body. Sounds like you have a good handle on what you want to accomplish. emoticon
    2993 days ago
    Good luck figuring out your goal weight. I reached mine and then went down lower. Good for you ignoring the negative comments people will make. Stay positive and figure out where you are happiest.

    Great job of getting into the normal BMI. emoticon
    2994 days ago
    It is so much more than the # on the emoticon This is a lifestyle and a journey not a diet with a definitive # to reach and be DONE. How do you feel? And self perception and body image is so difficult. What we really need to pursue and hold fast to when we capture the elusive is self love inside and out. You ARE beautiful inside and out no matter what that fluctuating # on the scale reads. Your children want you fit and healthy and happy and THAT is what is most worth attaining! Love your smile! emoticon
    2994 days ago
  • ROCKMAN6797
    Great really is about making better lifelong choices. As I love to keep in mind, this is not a diet rather it is a lifestyle change, one that has provided me with better health and clearer thinking. You have got this!

    2995 days ago
  • RSTM99
    I think that's why maintenance, after we attain whatever number on the scale we strove for, is SO hard. What is the plan, how to keep on track? I also struggle with 'if I'm not trying to lose, I'm gaining' I think I like the structure of my day - good food, workouts - when I'm in lose mode and otherwise it's a free for all :)

    I like how you noted it's about giving yourself permission - whatever your goal, however you get there, it is about making that decision for yourself.
    2995 days ago
    I'm right there with you!! Everyone is so negative, you look so old when you lose weight....I'm kickin' 151 right now (skinny my butt)!!! LOL!! My goal is 140.... GOOD LUCK !! emoticon
    2996 days ago
    It can be especially hard to define when variances in body composition can make the exact same body look drastically different. What you want is less excess body fat and more muscle / tone, not a particular number on the scale - so find ways to measure that specifically rather than worrying purely about the scale.

    Focusing too much on the scale number when you're close to "it" (goal weight / ideal weight) can lead to behaviors that make our bodies destroy muscle tissue rather than use up excess fat.

    Also ... be very careful about body expectations. Even those who are not anorexic can sometimes have trouble with the mirror image and seeing only the flaws rather than seeing the overall picture. Expecting a flat or concave abdomen may not be realistic. Expecting an hourglass figure / very narrow waist may not be realistic. Expecting to see no cellulite may be unrealistic (even skinny people can have it). Expecting to look like a 21-year-old airbrushed model is definitely unrealistic. This doesn't mean we want to keep a spare tire around our middle that's an extra three inches to pinch, but I've seen people who fuss over not feeling their bones distinctly or the excess skin that takes a long time to adjust to the smaller body.
    2996 days ago
  • TIFFA409
    May I ask how tall you are? Some of the negative comments you are receiving may just be jealousy on their part. They were more comfortable being the "thin" friend and now that role is yours. Or perhaps you making changes in your health is making it obvious that they have not. Don't let the negative comments get you down. I would say worry about being "too thin" if you start to approach the bottom end of your healthy BMI. Congratulations on your success! Enjoy basking in the maintenance stage once you have arrived in your "happy weight"!!!
    2996 days ago
    This may sound harsh. And in this case I think it may need to be. But it is also coming from experience. A number on the scale should not be your only way of measuring where you are. When I was younger I weighed around 150.That is a perfectly healthy weight for me to be at. However, I was still "fat". I had pudge around the middle and really thick thighs. My problem wasn't that I was overweight. It was that I was unhealthy. Eating Junk all the time and only drinking soda. I also very rarely exercised. I didn't need to lose weight. Although, if I had started to exercise I would have probably lost weight anyway. I was pretty comfortable in my skin though and I didn't think I would ever get fat. Anyway, my point is; it is all in perception. Maybe there are other things about your life that you don't like and are projecting those onto your self image. Don't go by the number on the scale. Go by how fit you are. If you are fit and have energy you will be happy.
    Best of Luck!!!
    2996 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13481603
    I think finding a goal weight is difficult because we are each so different. I have set a goal weight for myself having no idea if that will be "it" or not. My MAIN concern is feeling my best through being healthy. Good luck to you!

    2996 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by CAMAEL100