I'm having a rough day today. I've been pretty stressed out since I got home... actually, I've been pretty stressed for a while now. I'm trying to take it easy though and not get too worked up but it's becoming increasingly hard. It always comes down to one thing: money
I received loan money for summer school which I now have to return since I dropped my classes and came home when I got offered a job (thought it would be a good chance to visit everyone here, and that it would be better financially). I thought I could just deduct the over-award from my fall loan in September but apparently I can't and if I don't pay it back they might put me on probation
I don't make very much at my job, and with my regular bills, and some money I need to pay my dad back for my plane ticket I don't have much left over. To top it off, I missed the drop date for one class by like 24 hours so the university is now saying I owe them $400, plus my province is trying to take a benefit grant from me because I "live" in BC even though I'm still a resident. I'm not actually even allowed to be a resident of BC. Because trust me, I would be if I could. They have better benefits for students. I don't get it.
My parents split up shortly after I left for BC so this is my first time being here in this environment. They don't hate each other... but it's weird for me. I feel bad for my mom, like I abandoned her. She gets her own place this Saturday and is quite excited so I hope it helps her. She seems to be improving. My dad just seems like a different person altogether. I don't know how to act with him... I feel like I don't even have a home here anymore.
On top of all my money and family issues, my "friends" here are being ridiculous too. I never know their intentions, despite knowing them for most of my life. I've heard you should cut friends who constantly cause you stress out of your life... I'm starting to wonder if it's something I should look into. One in particular has been into causing unnecessary drama since we were 7 years old, literally. It makes me sad because I've never had many real close girlfriends here in real life. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't think I'm a bad person. I feel so much closer to many people I've met online. Then again... I was stuck in a really small town for a long long time. Maybe now that I'm out in the world and thinking more on my own, and growing as a person I'm finally realizing these things.
I'm trying to keep my eating under control as all this goes on. It makes me feel silly, but when I get stressed, for some reason, it's just so easy to eat everything in sight. I'm gonna be spending my life on SP for the next two months I think. Reading and interacting in the forums seems to remind my brain where it's supposed to be instead of thinking about taco bell
Anyways, sorry for the long post! I just had to vent. I find sometimes this is the best place for me to do that.
Love you all