Sprink's Judgement Day - Episode 1 (to be continued)

Friday, July 19, 2013

Hello to all my friends - I hope in my absence that things have been well for you and that you are blessed with more good days than bad. I am temporarily camerless, so the picture above is from June, but I think I look even better now... I finally got the time and the Bipolar Roller Coaster in my head to focus long enough to ask for thoughts on recent traumatic encounter with some of important people in my life.

I went to visit them last Monday, first time in months. I told them how richly blessed I was that God has never turned his back for me, and has always provided exactly what I need at the very last moment. Between an unexpected check and my roommate getting 6 weeks of full time paid training for his new job things look like we're going to get caught up on bills for first time this year.
Next thing I know is that both of them are harrassing me about not having a job to supplement my disability income (they have mentioned this before but not this judgementally). Then I get blasted about how much medication I am on now - and likely will be for the rest of my life. One said to me "I feel sorry for you" taking so many medications and vitamins (which they don't even know one name of).

Needless to say these two people are the same ones who helped lead me back to my Lutheran upgringing and my life here at the Church, and this past weekend's sermon was about forgiveness. The thing that bothers me the most I think - is that they went swung from being proud of all my weight loss and physical & mental transformation - to pitying me in one 15 minute conversation.

People who suffer from multiple mental disorders and dealing with their bodies readjusting to a new hormones, vitamins metabolism and lifestyle have NO IDEA WHAT IT FEELS LIKE, unless they have some or all of the same disorders etc. Sure I would like to go work part time somewhere, but for now, I am getting used to moving around and being out of the house for extended periods of time while my roommate of 12 years is working again.

So I am going to forgive and when the time is right, try to let them understand how BiPolar, Depressed, ADHD, and Impulsive Outburst Control Disorders affect my ability to function on a consistent daily basis - just living.

This is kind of unusual for me to just vent, and thank you for taking the time to read and hopefully respond with your thoughts on the matter and to just say hi. Have a Blessed weekend -
Your friend, "Sprink"

p.s. does anyone have the Fitbit Arm-band/Bracelet or other Fitbit models and how do you like them? Thanks - S
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I love my fitbit flex. My DH has the fitbit zip and he loves that. I had a fitbit one and I lved it except I was anxious about washing it by mistake. The flex is on my arm all day even in the shower and pool.
    Great motivation to move more and to compete with my DH!
    There is a scale that syncs with the website, too. Talk about accountability!
    You can log on and use the website to see how that works without having a fitbit.
    2799 days ago
    People even in the best of times are still going to say hurtful things trying to say the right things. With your chemical issues, it will be harder for you to just let the words roll over you without touching you. Forgiving them now and educating them at a later date are excellent plans. You are ahead of the curve.
    2822 days ago
  • HINK2013
    I have learned on this journey, that some people in your life don't realize that their WORDS have a huge impact on people and that they may think in their minds that they are trying to help you, by giving their opinions, but in reality they aren't helping at all!! I encourage you to keep on your path that is working for you, to trust in God, and everything else will fall into place!

    To answer the fitbit question - I have a fitbit "one" model, that I got in May and I LOVE IT!! I really do think it has helped me to stay more on track as far as being active, getting my exercise and focused on what food I eat each day. In fact my weight loss has been way more consistent since getting the fitbit.... My husband also got a "fitbit one" for father's day and is really loving it as well! So we would highly recommend one!!
    2825 days ago
    Hello Teamie!
    Glad you are back. Yes, forgive. You have to or it will add more weight onto your shoulders. And PATTY is right. At the right time the right job will come.
    Bless you!
    2828 days ago
  • BOVEY63
    Take care of you, and all else will fall into place!
    2828 days ago
  • PATTYR81
    One thing that has been 'revealed' to me on my journey is that I need to be mindful and realistic in what I 'expect' from others in my life.

    Specifically, I have to keep reminding myself not to expect people to give me what they can't /won't. When I do, I set myself up for a bunch of negative stuff: disappointment, resentment, anger, depression, blah, blah, blah.

    Carefully 'choose' your audience - and gage what type and level of sharing you want to do that will get you positive support.

    I'm still a bit 'foggy' this a.m., but was so happy you posted, I wanted to reply right back!


    Maybe I'll blog on this....THANKS for the thought-starter!
    2828 days ago
    Hang in there Sprink, you are doing great! The rest will come when it's time.
    2829 days ago
    So sorry about your "friends" reaction to you. You know yourself best and if you are not able to handle a job, then so be it. Take one day at a time and stay true to yourself. I am glad your roommate got a job and things are looking up for you.

    I have a fitbit. I love it. I have the little one and need to carry it in a pocket or it does have a clip on it. When this one bites the dust I will probably try the wrist band one. It works well and downloads my steps automatically to Spark fitness tracker.

    Glad to see you ack on Spark~I was worried about your absence. Hope you do have a wonderful week-end. emoticon
    2829 days ago
    You know what we need to do about toxic people in our lives... it is the only way for us to survive..If you feel getting a job may hurt your health then you need to wait until you feel like you can handle it. And as far as your meds go-- your Drs are the ones to judge your dosages... not to worry your spark family is behind you-- and beside you.. and in front of you to catch you if you fall!
    2829 days ago
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