Donuts; they were calling me
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Donuts, one of my trigger foods, something that is hard for me to ignore and only have one. Come to think of it, is there such a thing as "healthy serving" size for those fat fried sugar bombs? On the way into work today they were calling to me.
A convenience store that is actually on my way into work has a small bakery in the back and makes the best donuts in this area. They do not make a big variety but the ones they do make are outstanding. They rate way up high on my YUMO meter. Most of my drive to work in on I-40, about 25 miles, and one of the exits near where I work takes me right to this little spot of food bliss and caloric expansiion. Today the temptation was high to jump off and jump into the pool of fat and calories.
After giving the matter some thought once I made it to work, here is my opinion. My Wife and I had a bit of a disagreement this morning which ended in me getting the "if looks could kill" look as I headed to the shower. Wife and Son had wordlessly left for school while I was in the shower. It happens, and by this evening things will blow over after some discusssion. On my drive to work of course I replayed the entire conversation in my head, a couple of times. About that same time my mind drifts off to donuts, their topings and varieties and what I remember as how good they taste. It now appears obvious that I was returning to an old behaviour of dealing with conflict and stress with food to sooth me. As I neared the exit my mind was litteraly in a battle, "donuts", "no, stay healthy." "Ok, I can have just a couple, that is healthier than normal, right?" " No, you are close to a weight goal and weigh in is tomorrow." " But fewer donuts is a healthier approach, right?" "NO! because once you get two you will want to add on a big ciinnamon roll and a big Cherry Pepsi." "Well, but a bad meal won't cause you to gain in one day?" "Perhaps, but one bad meal tends to make me just say forget it for the day and pretty soon I've inhaled 4,000 calories and blown the weigh in, so NO not going to stop." "But they will be so good and creamy".......and suddenly something weird happened. It was time to take the exiit to the donut shop, and I just kept driving on, moving away fromt the temptation. "WAIT", my mind screamed, "you missed the turn, what are you DOING? You still have time to make a right turn and go back when you get off the highway." However, the further I drove away from the artery clogging exit, the quieter that voice became to the point where it was easy to exit where I was supposed to jump off, turn left and go to work.
One small good decision seems like such a small thing in retrospect, but you know what, this is MY victory, and I chose to live healthier in this one moment of my life. It is unrealistic for me to think that I'll never have another donut in my life. When I do have a donut it will be when I decide to simply enjoy one and not stress or emotional eating.