Thursday, September 18, 2014
A very supportive friend sent me a message. She has been struggling for a while now, which I knew. I have been too. We encouraged each other to the brink of onederland. Then slowly life and trials have gotten in the way. We are struggling. I would say together but we both pulled back from SP a bit. We both have had some life struggles. We have pulled apart. Maybe we are overwhelmed or embarrassed. Some days,for me the journey back to success seems just to far. Starting seems just a little too hard and the negative voice in my head says that not making healthy choices doesn't matter and by the way it is just not fair. If inner tantrum burned calories I'd be fine but, I think they just add to depression.
I get to keep my finger. But I still have a long time with pain. Over a month until surgery.
Not sleeping well I only exercised one morning this week.
I have to turn this around. As I was thinking about my friend I was wondering what would happen if I really cared about myself? How would that change my daily choices? Would I be better able to sooth the part of me that says THAT IS NOY FAIR far too oftern and far to loud.
I think about my friend as a strong inspiring woman. Even if she is struggling her story is one I will forever admire. If somehow she could see her greatness would she make better choices. What if I could see my own potential? If I believed this were possible how would I choose differently?
As long as I keep asking the questions the answer might come.