I'm Back - Again

Tuesday, November 04, 2014

It seems that I write a blog entry about once every 4 years or so - sounds about right for me!

I dropped out of sight for a while this fall, due to a family emergency. My DH had a massive stroke in late September - one of those with no hope of recovery. He was in the hospital for a few days, while I contacted family members to let them know what was happening. Then, following his final directives, I requested no resuscitation, no nutrition, and no hydration. He was moved to a local hospice and he died on October 2.

It was a trying time; one of my sisters (she's retired, so she had free time) came out to be with me. There wasn't anything we could do for DH, so we spent most of the time getting re-acquainted. It was the longest time we had spent together for over 45 years, so it was about time we got to know each other as adults.

I realized immediately that I needed to drop all pending obligations, so I asked my co-leaders to take care of the Viva Vancouver! team until I could come back and help them again. I would have been back sooner (and, in fact, I've checked up on things from time to time), but I had already signed up for a 3-day conference at the end of October. I decided to attend, and I'm glad I made that decision - it was fun, and it was good to be back in the midst of a large circle of friends, without it being a memorial event.

For the time being, I'm staying put. My eventual plans are to sell my home and move back to Illinois to be closer to my family (and to the family farm), but plans have a way of changing. For now, I'm sorting through things, deciding what we've accumulated over the years that is just taking up space and what I really want (and/or need) to keep. Lots of decisions, but I'm getting better at making them, especially the hard ones.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Today would have been DH's birthday, and it is also the first anniversary of a dear friend's husband - she and I are planning to go out for dinner this evening. Someone else commented that it's also a full moon, so I guess we'll go out for dinner and then go howl at the moon!
    2177 days ago
    Thanks for letting us know what is happening in your life.

    I'm glad that you had a good time at the conference and that it was a pathway to getting back to a "normal" existence. I'm also glad that you were able to get to know your sister better. It's funny how tragedy allows us to remake connections.

    Know that Berry4 and I are supporting you in any way possible.


    2177 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/5/2014 5:15:40 PM
    I am so sorry for your loss. I am sorry for the way life throws us challenges that are daunting and life altering. At the same time I am grateful that you are strong and have a good friends and good family to help you through this. Whatever decisions you make I hope you make them for you, for living, and not out of responsbility or obligation.

    I am truly sorry that you have to face so much and I wish only the best for you!
    2177 days ago
    That's what "other people" say, but in the end, we have to do what's right for us, and I'm comfortable with moving closer to family. As I tell folks, I knew when we got married that he was 14 years older than I, so this didn't exactly come as a huge surprise. And, for the same reason, I've always planned to move closer to the rest of my family if/when the right time came. For now, it looks like it will be late spring, but who knows?
    2178 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5198989
    Don't make a final decision for at least a year!
    2178 days ago
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