It's been 80 days since I last visited Spark.
I could never have gotten as far as I did without this community. I took a break over the summer for so many personal reasons.
I missed you guys.
Most importantly, I missed the commitment I made to myself when I had to do weekly weigh-in and hold myself accountable for my food intake, weight and exercise routines. When you stop watching yourself, it's way too easy to let things go.
A quick recap - I started at 250 lbs around this time last year. I decided it was time for a change. Time to get rid of the weight. Time to stop feeling achy and tired. Time to stop feeling like an old lady. Time to commit to myself and my well-being. Through small steps, course correction and a little help from my friends, I made it down as low as 178 lbs....a total of 72 lbs lost!
I am proud and amazed. I still can hardly believe it. I am finally able to get out of XXL everything and into a normal size L in most clothes. I dropped from a 2x to a size 12-14 depending on the brand. I can actually buy pants with a real waist size, size 31. I felt fit, healthy and mostly strong....before I took a break.
I hurt my shoulder in the summer and had to stop exercising all together. Including walking. I was not allowed to exercise again until the pain was gone entirely because I caused such severe nerve damage.
And with that, the slide backwards started. Slowly at first...I was surprised how much bad eating I could get away with. But bad days turned into bad weeks and all the bad habits that I had gotten rid of slowly crept their way back in.
But, today, I woke up and said "NO WAY!" I have worked too hard and too long to derail myself. I cannot have "just one more bite or "just a few pieces of candy/chips/snacks." So the bad eating habits must stop, even if I cannot exercise. I must get back on track. I allowed myself to gain 10lbs from my lowest weight of 178 in August. I am back up to 188 as of this morning.
Wednesday was always my normal weigh in day..so this Wednesday I take back control and get back to daily management. I must remind myself that I have to find the time for me, to take care of me, because no one else will.
So, I'm back Spark Peeps. Maybe not daily like I used to be, but I fully plan on blogging at least once weekly and getting rid of the last 30 lbs for good. And charting every step of the way with you, my good friends.
I learned a valuable lesson.... all the courage and commitment to start a weight loss and exercise program is so easily dismantled...if you are not fully embracing your new mindset, it's much easier to get lax and lose complete control...you must hold on every.single.day. Remain focused and committed. This is a lifestyle, not a period of time. This change must be forever. Take no prisoners.