100-249 SparkPoints 211

How do you see yourself?

Sunday, September 06, 2015

I'm at home, watching "My 600 Pound Life" and in my mind, that's how I see myself. I weighed in at 212 lbs today, but I see myself as the woman on tv that weighs over 600 lbs. Why is that? I haven't been as motivated lately to eat right and workout because somehow I feel like even losing the weight won't make me happy. I'll have all this extra skin and I'll think of myself as looking like a freak still. I hate feeling this way. I wish I could be motivated, I wish I could just make myself do the right things. I'm so tired of being in this body. I'm so disgusted with myself. I feel like other people are disgusted when they see me. It's just gross to be this way.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you all for your comments. I have Bipolar Disorder (the milder version) so I'm already on medication for depression/anxiety. I went with my 12 year old daughter to the park this morning and went walking. It felt good even though I got a little sore. Hopefully it can become a more regular thing.
    1960 days ago
    I agree it sounds like depression. I would go get it checked out and go from there. We are all here for you I'd you need to vent some more
    1960 days ago
    And let me tell you when I started my diet last month, I was 203... I'm down 14pds... You got fix you first.... You can do it!
    1960 days ago
    Honey, listen, it sounds to me like you are depressed, and I gotta tell you I was there before. I went to a doctor, she put me on medication, and I have been taking it now for 8 months. It change my whole world.
    1960 days ago
  • KAT135TO110
    I watch that show all the time. I feel so much bigger than I am. I avoid places like the mall because I feel like ppl are staring at my fat. I hate my body. I don't feel like myself in this body but only I have the power to change it.
    1961 days ago
    First, let me tell you! You do not deserve to feel depressed. You are worth all the things you desire. The weight didn't come on over night and unfortunately you cannot hurry weight loss. Set your goals, little ones like drinking your water, walking for at least 10 mins every day. Eating veggies with every meal and fruit two times a day. Your SparkFriends are here for you to help encourage you and inspire you. You have already taken one small are a SparkPeople member and another step by journaling or posting on SP.
    Tracking your exercise and your meals every day are small steps. If you can't do strenuous exercises, do the chair exercises. Once you are stronger then start the more strenuous exercises. You don't need a gym or fancy things to get in a good workout. Chair exercises are my favorite exercises when I am having knee pain. Check the inspirational posts by other that have been right where you are and found the grasp they needed to lift themselves up.

    You cannot compare yourself with others. Different people lose weight differently. I have a sister that weighed nearly 300 pounds. She works hard every day to lose weight and is now down to 203. Set has been working for over 2 years to lose the weight. But she is doing it, one small step after the other. I just know you can do it too. I have lost 37 pounds, nothing compared to my sister. Persistence and determination are the keys to losing weight. Post your goals where you can see them every day. Make your goals a priority. (that's one of my favorite post it notes). Make your workouts fun (another post it I like). emoticon

    Wishing you well on your journey. SparkHugs,

    1961 days ago
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