Thursday, September 17, 2015
This September has been so beautiful! I am enjoying so many sunny days.
Sometimes I think about my life and how happy I am. I have accomplished a lot. I started college when I was 30, working full time with children and graduated with my bachelor's and Magna Cum laude. I only started out trying to get a certificate! I overcame obstacles of shyness and persevered at work and at school to do things I never thought I would. I speak in front of groups, I share my life and sometimes don't even recognize myself when I see how easy these things are for me now! I haven't been through one but two devastating divorces. I could look at this as failures, and believe me I have spent many nights and days crying over these "failures" but like everything else it's perspective. I see what I have face. I see what I thought I could not overcome or bear. I not only overcame but I came out shining. Like a butterfly coming out of cocoon, I was freer and more beautiful than before. I am not speaking of physical beauty. I am saying that I feel happier that I am enjoying life more.
When I divorced this last time, I thought I would be very unhappy until I met someone else. I thought I needed someone to tell me I was beautiful and smart. It has taken time, and I have bad days, but I have come to be my own cheerleader.
I have some great friends. I love my children. My youngest son tells me all the time that he loves me so much. My family is a little flaky at best but I know they love me. My co-workers are amazing and my 2nd family. But I have leaned on outside motivation for far too long. I have been willing to spend unmentionable amounts of money to get help from someone else. It's probably a good thing I didn't have too much money or I am sure I would have spent it on coaches, personal trainers, counselors, etc. I'm not saying that is wrong at the right times for the right reasons. But recently had the epiphany that I can ALWAYS count on me. I know myself. I am always there for myself, night and day. And changing myself, even if baby steps at a time, is the only thing that will truly last.
As I look at the charts on SparkPeople, I see progress. More progress than I realized. My goals are getting easier to reach. Encouraging others every day and teaching others to remain positive and working towards their goals inspires me to do the same for myself. I tell my consultants to not beat themselves up. I tell them if they hear their work from a few weeks ago to today, they would hear a HUGE difference. Day by day might not show as big of differences. But all that hard work pays off, in the end. I always wondered if I would get a 5 star call, then I did. 2 in a row!!! Then I got a 5.2 (which is like getting a perfect score with extra credit). Once I did it, it seems so doable that you start doing it all the time. Believing in yourself really IS half (or more) of the battle! Teaching others how to get that 5 star helps me get mine. I also spend a lot of focus on positive perspective and I am carrying this over to my health.
So, carry on Kelli!!!! Keep calm and be healthy!!!!