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Over 100 Pounds Lost and Maintained for Over 4 Years- Motivating Myself

Monday, July 25, 2016

Hey Sparkies,

So recently I'd been feeling really down and feeling in general like a failure. I celebrated 3 years on Spark on the 8th of this month and where was I weight wise- just about where I started in 2013 or at least that's what it felt like. I then saw a friend's before and after picture and was showing it to my DH and saying she did such an emoticon job didn't she (BABYBARNEY this is a shout-out to you) and I then decided to look through some past pictures of myself on a whim and I realized in that moment that I wasn't a failure. Was I where I wanted to be after three years? No but at the same time I wasn't heavier than when I started Spark (actually I'm 16 lbs down from that weight which I only now just realized) nor was I ANYWHERE near the weight I was when I started my weight loss journey.

When I started this journey I weighed close to 300 pounds! I'm not sure exactly how much nor do I have a picture of me at my highest weight at that time because you couldn't have caught me anywhere near a scale or a camera at that time!! In the "before" picture below I had already lost about 20-30 lbs and was feeling so good about myself.




Looking at the picture above I realized that because I had achieved my "major" weight loss so long ago it seemed like "old news" and not a worthy achievement to me anymore. But not only was my loss still a worthy achievement but the fact that I had by and large maintained it for over FOUR years was even more of an achievement.

I remember at my highest weight, clothes shopping being the biggest burden and being unable to run for more than 30 seconds. I remember feeling like a total outsider as a teenager because I weighed as much as 2 of my friends put together. I remember feeling like the "ugly" duckling of my family because I was always told how much I resembled my also obese father while my older sister was told how much she resembled my beautiful mother. I remember always being told how nice my hair was and my smile with the undertone of you'd be so pretty if you weren't so fat.

I also remember though taking my health into my own hands. I remember reading as many articles as I could on nutrition and exercise as I tried to perfect this weight loss thing. I remember the first time I finally decided to start giving food tracking a try and had to do it with my pen and paper because I knew nothing about Spark at that time. I remember building my own at home workout regimens with the stuff I'd found online. I remember teaching myself to love water which I had HATED all my life and NEVER drank. I also remember teaching myself to love vegetables and to cut back on my portions.

And then I remember the successes. I remember the first time I was able to cross my legs, to wrap a "normal" towel entirely around my body, to wear a 2XL then XL then large and finally a medium. I remember the first time I could feel my rib cage and see my collar bone and the first time I could not just run 30 seconds but 30 minutes! I remember my first push-up and completing a workout like Insanity for the first time. I realized that I had forgotten ALL these things. That I had reached to a point where I was taking them for granted and in that moment I motivated myself.

I motivated myself because it was ME who had done these things. Not some super human somebody else but ME and it was the same ME that could kick my excuses to the curb and get my butt in line to lose this last 30- 40 lbs. It's not a race and I don't have to be perfect. I just have to take it day by day and make the choices that are best for me and that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm done maintaining!! I've had enough PRACTICE for final maintenance! It's time to kick my butt back into weight loss mode to get to that final goal and maintain FOR REAL and I'm ready for it!! Now who's with me because emoticon We just have to emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This is a very inspirational blog!
    You look really great, and have seen the fruit of your efforts. I'm glad you took a moment to reflect, and that you were willing to put it all down here so we could benefit too.
    Keep on doing what you're doing, because it's working!
    1718 days ago
    nice reflections
    1718 days ago
    Well done. Read up some articles about "maintenance psychology" - what you are feeling is not uncommon, you just need to re-frame your thinking to avoid going backwards. Good luck.
    1718 days ago
    You look amazing! Awesome job!! You have come such a long way and accomplished so much I am inspired by all you have done. You have kept it off and that is what matters! You will reach your ultimate goal there is no doubt. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1718 days ago
    What a wonderful blog, thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. I found this so inspiring.
    1719 days ago
    emoticon emoticon

    You are beautiful! emoticon emoticon
    1719 days ago
    Sweetie, you look fabulous! You have accomplished a LOT. Losing a significant amt. of weight and maintaining is awe inspiring . . and you are!
    1719 days ago
    You are an inspiration!!! emoticon Keep it up! emoticon
    1719 days ago
    So pretty lady, I want to thank you for that sweet acknowledgement...YOU are OOZING healthy spirit & what a VISION you are in BOTH photos...I understand the struggle & challenges of keeping the maintenance as well as weight loss in check...Each day our choices lead us down a path, it is up to us to keep moving toward better health or choose a DIFFERENT path if we reach a stumbling block. All the while cherishing each experience. You had me check out the various exercise programs that you have done & I MARVEL at your determination to keep on keepin on....

    From 1 H20 Hater to another...I am giving vitamin H20 a try...some good flavours...KARMA brand has only 20 calories per bottle...(I use it as 2 servings) & a real thirst quencher after a Shaun T workout...I'm still CIZING it UP & I'm not even getting residuals for advertising!!! emoticon

    KEEP PUSHING!!! emoticon & DRINK UP!!!! emoticon
    1719 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15003511
    You should be so proud of all you have achieved. Just reading your blog post motivates me. You look great and more importantly, it sounds like your health is much better therefore you feel better. That's something to cheer about!
    1719 days ago
    wow what great progress! I didn't know you lost that much, you are AMAZING!!
    and that after picture-Wowie! You can see the muscle tone showing from all those videos!
    Thanks for this uplifting inspiring blog today. Now I'm ready to do a kick tush workout today!
    1719 days ago
    You look emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon ~Maria
    1719 days ago
    I've always firmly thought your journey to a healthy lifestyle has already been totally amazing. The goals you have achieved are to keep you encouraged and celebrating. From now on, it's more an issue of what you expect of your self image. The photos demonstrate the awesome transformation. What we need to keep tight in our minds is to NOT regain. To maintain.
    1719 days ago
    Congrats!!!! Major success! So happy for you! You're my inspiration!
    1719 days ago
    Chalecia, you look fantastic and congratulations on a job well done. Often we concentrate on our shortcoming without giving ourselves credit for our successes. While we may not meet our intended goal when we want to we should keep on keeping on like you've done and celebrate our achievements. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. You're and inspiration to many.
    1719 days ago
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    1719 days ago
  • no profile photo BUTTERFLYGRACE
    Beautiful tribute to yourself! And just the encouragement I needed today. I've been 300 pounds, I've lost 150 pounds, regained a little of that, lost the regain, regained it again, etc. I'm now working on getting back to goal and have felt frustrated the last little bit. But, as I read your blog, I remembered my journey from 300 to 150 ... AWESOME progress! So, now, I simply need to motivate myself from the 180's to 165 (doctor increased my goal because I don't maintain 150 well). Anyway ... thank you so much for your blog! I feel more secure in myself today as I see your progress and dedication!

    emoticon , YOU are emoticon ... as well as being an emoticon A!!!
    1719 days ago
    emoticon One of the best things about SparkPeople in general and Blogs in particular is that it makes it relatively easy to Look Back and see our Progress.
    emoticon Congratulations on all you've Gained along your Journey. Those things are part of the reason you've Lost and KEPT The Weight Off.
    1719 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    emoticon You're doing awesome!
    1719 days ago
  • no profile photo CD16484512
    I agree 100%! I too have moments of self doubt and your blog reminded me of the big picture. Thank you, for sharing your feelings and encouraging words. Hugs!
    1720 days ago
    Go baby go!!!!!
    1720 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1720 days ago
    Way to go! I'm with you! But I'm just starting out! You are so inspiring!!
    1720 days ago
  • GAT174
    So encouraged
    1720 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.