Over 100 Pounds Lost and Maintained for Over 4 Years- Motivating Myself
Monday, July 25, 2016
So recently I'd been feeling really down and feeling in general like a failure. I celebrated 3 years on Spark on the 8th of this month and where was I weight wise- just about where I started in 2013 or at least that's what it felt like. I then saw a friend's before and after picture and was showing it to my DH and saying she did such an
job didn't she (BABYBARNEY this is a shout-out to you) and I then decided to look through some past pictures of myself on a whim and I realized in that moment that I wasn't a failure. Was I where I wanted to be after three years? No but at the same time I wasn't heavier than when I started Spark (actually I'm 16 lbs down from that weight which I only now just realized) nor was I ANYWHERE near the weight I was when I started my weight loss journey.
When I started this journey I weighed close to 300 pounds! I'm not sure exactly how much nor do I have a picture of me at my highest weight at that time because you couldn't have caught me anywhere near a scale or a camera at that time!! In the "before" picture below I had already lost about 20-30 lbs and was feeling so good about myself.
Looking at the picture above I realized that because I had achieved my "major" weight loss so long ago it seemed like "old news" and not a worthy achievement to me anymore. But not only was my loss still a worthy achievement but the fact that I had by and large maintained it for over FOUR years was even more of an achievement.
I remember at my highest weight, clothes shopping being the biggest burden and being unable to run for more than 30 seconds. I remember feeling like a total outsider as a teenager because I weighed as much as 2 of my friends put together. I remember feeling like the "ugly" duckling of my family because I was always told how much I resembled my also obese father while my older sister was told how much she resembled my beautiful mother. I remember always being told how nice my hair was and my smile with the undertone of you'd be so pretty if you weren't so fat.
I also remember though taking my health into my own hands. I remember reading as many articles as I could on nutrition and exercise as I tried to perfect this weight loss thing. I remember the first time I finally decided to start giving food tracking a try and had to do it with my pen and paper because I knew nothing about Spark at that time. I remember building my own at home workout regimens with the stuff I'd found online. I remember teaching myself to love water which I had HATED all my life and NEVER drank. I also remember teaching myself to love vegetables and to cut back on my portions.
And then I remember the successes. I remember the first time I was able to cross my legs, to wrap a "normal" towel entirely around my body, to wear a 2XL then XL then large and finally a medium. I remember the first time I could feel my rib cage and see my collar bone and the first time I could not just run 30 seconds but 30 minutes! I remember my first push-up and completing a workout like Insanity for the first time. I realized that I had forgotten ALL these things. That I had reached to a point where I was taking them for granted and in that moment I motivated myself.
I motivated myself because it was ME who had done these things. Not some super human somebody else but ME and it was the same ME that could kick my excuses to the curb and get my butt in line to lose this last 30- 40 lbs. It's not a race and I don't have to be perfect. I just have to take it day by day and make the choices that are best for me and that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm done maintaining!! I've had enough PRACTICE for final maintenance! It's time to kick my butt back into weight loss mode to get to that final goal and maintain FOR REAL and I'm ready for it!! Now who's with me because
We just have to