My Happiness Challenge Day 34
Saturday, July 29, 2017
34. Appreciate what they have and don't worry about what is lacking.
Ok, you might have noticed that it's been a bit since I blogged. I am not going to lie; I have been putting this one off. The next few blogs are going to be painful to me. I thought about combining the next couple of days into one blog but I decided the issues probably needed to be worked through separately. I hope that writing it out will clear things out and maybe I won't think about them too much afterword. I'll probably overshare again and...just try not to judge.
I have an incredibly beautiful daughter. I always thought I would have a big family with big family meals and holidays and vacations and game nights. But that wasn't what my husband wanted. I had a gynecologist once who said "you know you're the one in control of that" and I said "yes, but I don't want another kid bad enough to be a single mom, haha!" So I have one kid who is practically perfect!
There are some really, really bad days that I ache to hold those babies. I curl up in my bed and cry for them for hours. But I made the choice to make sure I never got pregnant again. And now I'm almost 47 and a lot of scary things could happen if I did get pregnant so it's easier now to keep making that choice. My daughter is engaged to another only child so I'm hoping to get lots of grand babies in the future. There are no guarantees but I'm hoping for the best.
That's really the only thing I've ever wanted that I don't have that was within my power to change. I'm not beautiful but I can pass for pretty sometimes. I'm not thin, but man, am I strong! I'm not rich, but I lack for nothing (except a clean house! I could get on board with having a maid or cleaning service!) and I'm a big do it yourselfer! There's an Alanis Morrisette song going through my head right now! Everything is going to be quite alright (One hand in my Pocket!)
So I'm just going to dream about grand babies and keep on keeping on! The life I've chosen is pretty great if I do say so myself!
I am happy!