Saturday, October 28, 2017
There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul. ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Since the very beginning, my life has been all about pushing through and not giving up NO MATTER WHAT THE CHALLENGE.
Some of you already know about the dysfunctional background I've come from. You may also be aware that I've experienced the near crippling effects stress/emotions/attitudes can have on our bodies and our lives. I could have let those challenges ruin my life by keeping me miserable, making me hateful, or worse. Instead I use them to appreciate the woman I am today, with a strong compassion for others, and it took a lot of hard work and determination to get here.
To start on my road to a happier, healthier me I had to recognize I had a lot of baggage I needed to sort through and dispose of. In doing so I became more focused on being positive, and relatively stress free; mostly because I'm facing things differently. Did this happen overnight? NO! It took a few years to really sink in so that I didn't fall back into negative patterns. But I immediately felt better once I really put myself into the process of trying to get there.
I've learned that:
** it's all about baby steps and priorities for me. I have to pick the battle I want to fight and stick with it to the end.
** losing weight and keeping it off depends on my attitude about both myself and the process.
** getting a good night's sleep means doing what I can when I can and actually leaving the rest be; not fretting over what went wrong yesterday, what may happen tomorrow or what did or didn't happen today.
** having a good day or a bad day really depends on my attitude about it.
** I am worthy, I am loved and I am enough!
Once my attitude and self-esteem was under control (what a relief that is) I was better able to work on diet and exercise.
Even on a limited single income, diet wise I was doing well up to about 2 years ago. I was losing weight slowly -- 15 -20 lbs a year -- being over 50 and post menopausal that was within the norm as far as my doctor was concerned and I was okay with it too. Then we were hit with some MAJOR budget cuts and life changes. We chose to compromise by giving up the his and hers meals and focusing on meals we could both tolerate within the means we'd been provided, many of them not being the best choices for me, and some pounds crept back. I've been using healthier substitutes and additions for DH's favorites and slowly swaying him to even a few healthier alternatives. Although I've actually made progress, I'm far from where I would really like me/us to be. I do participate in challenges to show team support, but at this time I'm not focused so much on weight loss as I am on my wellbeing and the happily part of being married. =) This way when the scale doesn't move as well as I'd like, or the fit of my clothes isn't just right, I can still be happy with my progress by knowing I'm doing my best.
Exercise has been, for more years than I can remember, even more challenging. Injuries, Illnesses, losing local walking/workout buddies, having things made either inaccessible or unaffordable, and life interruptions in general have all helped to show me just how determined I am to getting things done. I'm hit with a challenge, adapt to it, hit with another, adapt again.... and so the cycle continues. I've had to change plans and routines so frequently that if they gave points for it I'd probably be 1st on its leaderboard. =) The thing is that when I may be slowed down, or even stopped from time to time, I always make adjustments to get back at it (in any form available) as quickly as possible.
To sum it up neatly: Be careful what you wish for. You may not be in control of how it gets there =) I wanted to be that determined soul by having the firm resolve to stay focused on healthy and happy and reaching my goals, and I still do. I think I have the focus down. I'm still working on reaching my goals.
I'm not through with me yet!!