Still feel fat, but I think that is a good thing.

Ok, like many of my fellow Sparkers my weight loss journey can definitely be described as "yo-yo". Then about 18 months ago when I had yo-yo'd back up to 230 (my highest weight), something in my head went "click" and I got back on the path to a healthier life. This time I am determined not to regain the weight.

I have lost 50 pounds and am back down to the weight I was when I got married in 2002, but I am still not satisfied.

So why do I think that is a good thing? Well, in the past when I set goals to meet a deadline and then achieved it I treated that goal like the finish line. I was DONE. By this I mean I was done with losing weight. I quit all my good behaviors. I quit tracking, I quit watching portions sizes, I quit watching my "bad" carbs, I quit exercising (mostly). You can guess what happened, can't you? Health went down & weight went up, up, up.

But at the time I thought I looked great and I certainly felt better, so it made quitting so easy. This time, I don't think I look great (although I do feel better). I am just more motivated to keep going and to eventually get down to a truly healthy weight. No more half-way measures.

So I bet you're asking why, when I do reach my long-term goal (which is still probably about 2 years away), I won't be DONE and start the steady climb back up. I can't answer that yet, but I just don't believe I will. I am really tired of doing this every decade and as I age and health issues begin to invade my life, I want to help my body fight every step of the way. I just can't do that as well fat.

So I DO applaud myself for my 18 months of hard work. I have lost 50 pounds, I have dropped 3 clothing sizes, my blood pressure and cholesterol are perfect, I sleep well, I feel great and I am no longer clinically obese. But I am still fat, so I am still motivated and that IS a very good thing.