Putting Resentments to Rest

So I've had an axe to grind with Spark for some time now. They used to have a trophy that was the at highest Spark point level. I can't even remember what the thing looked like- Gold? Silver? Chartreuse? I have no idea. I just knew that there was an ultimate level I could reach, and my goal was to get to that level and then enjoy sitting on the SparkPeople mountaintop and enjoying the view for eternity.

I was VERY active at this time- Frequent blogs, constant status updates, high group participation, logging every morsel I ate and exercise I performed. I was racking up points like it was no one's business.

But then they added new levels above the old "highest" one. And I realized that no matter how hard I worked to get to the highest level, the Spark gods were very likely to add more. So it was unlikely I would ever reach the ultimate mountaintop because the mountain would, most likely, continue to grow. I've never been one to chase an unachievable dream, so I walked away from Spark for a while. A long while, aside from the occasional check in.

Eventually I came back because I wanted to log my exercise, I believe. Then I got involved in a challenge. Then one thing, then another, and I've gradually been a presence here again, although not nearly as active as I used to be.

During this time I've rejoined Weight Watchers and my food logging is done on their app. I did log my food here at the beginning of this go-round with WW, as well, to check that the zero-point foods wouldn't equal so many calories that it would hinder my weight loss. They didn't, so I stopped logging here. It's was too time consuming to log this in two places.

I log my exercise in WW, but I do it here, too, because it's an easy and fast way to get points. But I no longer log each and every exercise in detail. I just put in "Stretching", "Strength training", "yoga", etc, and the minutes I did them.

I don't really participate on the message boards anymore, because I am doing that sort of things on WW Connect and again, I don't have time for both.

With this more moderate approach to Spark, I am still accumulatng points. My goal is to get enough each day to spin the bonus wheel. And none of these points are the "team points". I want to know that the points I have I earned through effort and participation. That's just me. You do you.

And now I a willing to rethink the "level" trophies: I still want to make it to the highest level. And when they add a new level, I want to make it to that level. Because you know what I've figured out? Life is more about the journey than the destination. And fitness is not a destination, it's a journey. All of it. Even maintenance is a never-ending, always changing and fluctuating journey.

Complacency in maintenance got me out of maintenance and back into weight loss category. Maybe if I hadn't gotten disgusted and just kept my focus on the next level up, even at my darkest times (which you can read about in a past blog here: www.sparkpeople.
com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=6059097 ), I wouldn't have been as likely to gain weight back. Maybe I would have. But I certainly didn't earn any points by pouting.

That's all- Nothing in this blog is earth shattering or life changing. No lesson really to be taught or learned. Just me rambling about being all-in, all-out, and then moderate. Wanting the highest, trying for nothing, then settling on moderation. It's been a journey, but I learned something. So I guess that makes it worth it.

Whatever the case, I'm grateful that SparkPeople is still here. I'm grateful that all of YOU are still here. I'm grateful if you made it all the way through this blog to read to this point! Thanks for supporting me through all of my phases.

I'm blessed to still be here. And to be back. All at the same time.