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Monday, April 22, 2019

After last week bit of crazy with adopting a kitty (Moonshine) and having lots of repairs done to the house, I worked on just getting some normality back today even though it's Easter Monday and a holiday here. I did the things I do on Mondays and that included getting back into the gym. I hadn't done any strength training or rowing since last Tuesday and I was really feeling bad about that. I also went on a bit of a binge with after dinner snacking for the last half of last week. I was much better about it yesterday and so far today. Something that caught my eye from one of the Sparkpeople coaching links a few days ago stayed in my head and made me feel less awful about really falling off the wagon. It went something like: 'when you fall down, and you will, you'll overeat, you'll skip the gym... don't tear yourself down about it. Get up, dust yourself off and get right back to doing the right thing for yourself. You'll feel so much better when you do.'

And I do feel better now.

I had an Email exchange with one of my siblings today and mentioned I was doing okay. He said 'So does that mean you could be doing better?'. Somehow I don't think he got the memo about the grieving process. While not every day has been rough, it's not going to be over the top amazing for a long time to come probably. Big and little things still bring the tears. For many of the 24 years I've lived here in Australia, I just couldn't cry. Even when I had breast cancer and other reasons to shed tears, they didn't come. And now I've had to accept that I cry, just about every day, but generally, it's something that comes and it passes. My job is to just accept that this is part of who I am right now. I also laugh and smile on those same days. I'm quite alright with being just OK.

So tomorrow will bring still more repair people around. The area where the new pipes were put in needs to be filled in with dirt and tidied up, and I have some other work that may or may not start tomorrow. So unlike the last few nights, tonight I must get to be early. Those tradespeople start work way earlier than I usually get up. Eek.

Hope you've had a lovely Easter. Mine was nice but mostly quiet. Aside from my cats still adapting to having another of their kind in the house and not being overly enthused about it. Kitty Siblings!
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