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Ramblings of an overweight woman

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Monday, May 20, 2019

I have been trying to lose weight for so many years. When my now 15 year old was small, I lost 30 lbs and felt amazing. Then parenthood, inexperience, marriage and stress took its toll and now it is 14 years later and I have 100 lbs to lose. I’m not angry. I am sad for the obvious carelessness that I have shown for myself. Sad that I made sure that everyone else came first before me. I’m sad for the thoughts that have plagued me. The judgements that I’ve feared but not received by anyone but my own mind. Now I find myself here, in this supportive community, wondering how to make myself want this enough to make the work worth it to me. Wishing for a pill to make it easy. But i know it’s a fantasy. Too good to possibly be true. Wishing I had just stuck with this or that and I wouldn’t be in this mess....this constant loop of self deprecating thought. I know I am worth it. I know, as a daughter of God, I am worthy of His love and His help and guidance. But how do I get from just knowing this to really believing it?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You and me both!!
    400 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    406 days ago
    Starting point is to love yourself as generously as you have been loving everyone else!
    407 days ago
    409 days ago
  • KWOOD1955
    410 days ago
    Thank you for the comments! I definitely don’t want to continue my all or nothing habits, so it’s good to remind ourselves that it IS a process.
    410 days ago
    It's a life change process and the keyword is "process". We are on a journey here, not a destination. Life is a journey, clearly. This process will happen over many, many days. I take one day at a time and do the best I can with it. Then I start all over again the next day. Let's face it, we didn't put this weight on overnight and it sure won't disappear overnight. As long as I keep focused on the SparkPeople website daily, my focus is on what I am doing at any given moment. There's so much to learn here and there are so many members who share their story. It makes me feel as if I'm not alone. Just keep on keepin' on and you'll beat this mountain.

    411 days ago
  • KEB501
    I would highly recommend the "I Deserve a Donut" app (or the book) and Taste For Truth Christian Weight loss Podcasts. Both of these talk about renewing your mind (Romans 12:2) in terms of the way we think about food, emotions, and lies about our health journey.

    You can do this! One baby step at a time! emoticon
    412 days ago
    For me it was a commitment to a permanent lifestyle change not contingent upon anyone or anything.. it was not a fad or temporary fix to drop's a move towards personal wellness in all aspects..mind ..body...soul...good luck!
    412 days ago
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