Learning to Listen

So I'm pregnant. To give you a quick recap. I've had a few failed pregnancies and we had to use IVF, so getting to 7.5 weeks pregnant is its own type of miracle. We're anxiously awaiting 12 weeks, so I can breathe just a little easier.

As far as pregnancy symptoms go. I have almost non stop nausea and I'm am exceptionally fatigued. I mean going on a couple errands and needing a nap. I am exhausted, which for me is not normal. I also have the sensitivity to smells.

The reason I share these details is because they're symptoms impacting me. I can't cook because the smells make me so queezy. Last week I was in class, so I could get oven roasted chicken salads for lunch from subway, but we were eating out for dinner (my husband can't cook) I was freaking out because I was either not eating (except for saltines) or I was eating out. This week we got a frozen veggie lasagna and I got smart ones for lunches. I bought mixed fruit already cut because it was just easier. I had an ultrasound yesterday and the doctor had to lecture me because I started freaking out about I know I'm supposed to stay active, I know I'm supposed to eat healthy, but I don't have the energy and I can't deal with the smells. She kind of laughed at me (kindly) She said,"your body is telling you that you're tired. You're body is telling you what it does and doesn't want to eat. All you have to do is listen to it"

It made so much sense when she said it. She explained to me how from what I was tracking I was still making decent choices most of the time and the baby was getting plenty of nutrients. She assured me my energy would return to more normal levels during the second trimester and that is a great time to be active. She assured me I wasn't poisoning my baby by having a smart one and some fresh fruit. She doesn't reccommend it all of the time, but if it is between a smart one meal with some fresh fruit or fast food or no food or crackers, I'm making a good choice.

She assured me to rest, to eat what I can when I can, and to just stay calm. Its hard when I'm so used to so much meal planning and cooking (something I usually enjoy) and I just don't have the energy. I started beating myself up over not being perfect and she said to chill.

They are testing me for anemia just in case, but for the most part.

It is amazing on how I thought I had made so much progress in listening to my body before, "am I really hungry? what I am hungry for? Am I picking the right foods or the easy food? Now it is a pressure to be perfect at a time when I don't actually know what my body wants/doesn't want and am too tired to think about it.

Thanks for listening.