SHANTY49
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My Brother and my stress

Monday, July 01, 2019

my brother forever has known how to push my buttons. He went to jail in October and still is there, his trial is pending. My brother wants money for his bail ( bail is set at a million dollars) and a different attorney. We have paid off our house and have IRA's. The thing is we have scimped and saved to be able to do that. He has always blown his money buying the best of everything. Now he's mad because we don't want to take out a mortgage on the house or break into our IRA's all our hard saved money lost gone over his bad choices. He's sending me guilt letters. Anyway the stress is effecting my ability to focus on myself and trying to get healthy. Any encouraging would be awesome
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  • ZELDA13
    Finance 101: Maintain your home equity, retirement savings and at minimum your emergency fund from outside sources. They should not go towards your children's education or in this case, your family members issue. What's going to happen in 25/30 years when that money may be long gone and now you have to scramble to just get by? You and your family are your first priority.
    580 days ago
  • SLIMMERKIWI
    Your brother is an adult and whatever he is in jail for, it must be a pretty big deal because I doubt that bail would be set so high otherwise.

    He has no right to put any guilt trip on you, and I hope that you don't feel guilty for not helping him in that way. If you want to help there are loads of other ways to do that without jeopardizing YOUR home and relationship.

    It's about time he put his big pants on and IF he is guilty of whatever he is charged with, take responsibility for his actions.

    BIG hugs,
    Kris
    607 days ago
  • EISSA7
    He is an adult and made his choices...stay strong and ignore. Do what you know in your heart is right...do NOT allow him to guilt you in any way!! If you have to, throw the unopened letters in the trash....
    611 days ago
  • AIYANASMAMA
    I'm so sorry he's doing this to you. Sometimes it's best to just cut ties w/toxic people even if they are family.
    611 days ago
  • GLASSBULLY
    Don't listen to it, the only one who should feel guilty is him! Perhaps some time behind bars can teach him a lesson, but don't count on it.
    611 days ago
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