Saturday, September 28, 2019
As I said yesterday, I have had a lot of problems with my knees. Thank God that I have my job, as I think I would be going nuts. My knees have gotten worse and I am using a walker more. I have an appointment with the ortho in two weeks, and I am going to see if we can wave the weight loss, and get the first replacement. I can't take this pain any more. I didn't go see the kids two weeks ago as I didn't think I could take the 4 hour drive in the car, and didn't want to fall at his house or her mom's house. I felt horrible not going, but I didn't want to get hurt there and give them more to worry about. Emerson asked Margaret if I was coming the next time as he missed me. That made me feel bad. So I have been face-timing him a few days a week and we call that our special time. When I facetime him, he tells the rest of them they can't talk to me as that is his time! So sweet! And Reagan is growing so fast. I really missed them. I am trying to be so supportive to Brad with his new plan of treatment. All the surgeries worry me, but he is so stoked by the positive attitudes of the doctors in New York. His doctors have been great, but he feels new optimism from this team in New York. His trip in three weeks could be more than we know for sure at this time. If the radiation had taken care of the tumors in the rectum, the colonoscopy could be reversed. The plan is to remove the gall bladder to make room for the pump, and if the mri's show the tumors gone in the rectum, he could lose the bag. I just hope that his system has not been run down from all this and he can tolerate it But as you read in his blog, he is awesome. Most folks are amazed that he has worked almost 98% of the time. His time off the job was so small. He is an inspiration of strength and faith! I must have done right by him. Margaret has her moments. We both try to be strong for each other. We know that his disease is a bad one but we believe in the power of the Lord. He is mightier than any disease. But by the same token, our human weakness makes us worry. So we support each other. Chris keeps everything inside. He doesn't express his feeling often. He is so worried for his brother. But I can tell how he feels about his brother. They have met ups a couple of times but he won't talk about it. He gets very emotional when we talk about his case. My job is going great. Can't believe I have had it for almost a year. Had my annual review this week. It was great. My boss has asked if I wanted to go full time. Nothing would change much except I would work 8 hours instead of 6.5 that I work now. And I would get benefits, and paid time off. So I told him sure. Back to teaching PSR. I am starting with 20 students this year and where last year was 12 girls and 4 boys. This year it is reversed and I have 12 boys and 8 girls. And we are only in our 3rd week so I could still get more. I have a mother of one of my students, a home-school mom, who is helping me this year. And she is good and will be a great help. Tomorrow we have a PSR school picnic. Games for the kids and BBQ and chips for all. Should be a good time. Provided I can still walk after class. 2nd graders can run you ragged. So besides the job and church, not doing all that much. Depression is leading to a lot of mindless eating. I had been going to therapy, but I couldn't hardly walk for almost two days after each session, so after 5 weeks, we decided to stop it as it wasn't helping. So my biggest things these day is to not fall, and walk without too much pain. Will try and get backto blogging daily. Need to get more routine into my life.