Today is my late mom's birthday. She passed suddenly five years ago.
We had a challenging relationship, she was scrappy and tough, drove me nuts,
but many days still, I think for half a second, 'I gotta tell mom this' or something like that.
As I got older, I slowly understood how her life experiences made her the person she was. Her difficult childhood, abusive father (only to his wife, never his kids), shaped her ideas and perceptions. It didn't make dealing with her moods any easier but helped me to understand where it was coming from and let it go a little bit.
Her sedentary lifestyle and unhealthy eating habits caused her so much unnecsaary pain and suffering in her last few years. Unfair really when you consider all she endured in her youth. That inspired me to take better care of myself, physically and mentally as I age.
To this day, the memory of telling the Chaplin to stop efforts to revive her again as I watched so many people working on her, seems like something that happened in another dimension, so surreal, I couldn't possibly be able to say those words.
After she passed away, my ex-mother-in law sent me a basket with two small plants. One died fairly quickly so I was determined not to let one more being die that month and I am definitely not known for my green thumb!
Well, that tiny plant in a basket has continued to grow and grow and grow.
This summer we had a few pretty bad storms and that poor plant took a beating each time. And yet, it has continued to grow. DH built a small stand to help it endure any unexpected winds and nicknamed her Rita, my mom's name, for her toughness.
A couple weeks ago, we noticed a few small green blades coming up next to it, figured it was a weed, didn't pay it much attention.
That seems to be turning into something. I sat outside today looking at the tall plant in the stand to hold her steady in the storms and the small sprout coming up along side it. Made me smile.
My dad called me today, teary about the date and said he thinks he may be ready to see a therapist. He never really dealt with my mom's death. He quickly packed away the grief and started seeing a woman who turned out to cause him so much emotional grief over the last few years.
I made some calls for him. Hoping mom can send some of her scrappiness to my dad to help him see this through this time.