Tuesday, November 26, 2019
I was doing so well for a while there. I was down to 240, moving in the downward direction, steady in my pace. Then ... BOOM! I get rocked. I start gaining gobs of weight even through I'm more active than ever. My body starts hurting in ways and places that it never had before and my self-image is in the toilet.
To give a bit of perspective on all this we have to go back to late February. I had my Nexplanon long term birth control taken out because it was doing bad things to my body. I had become critically anemic and was deficient in so many essential vitamins and minerals, my doctor sent me in for infusions. Almost overnight I started getting bloated so badly I ended up looking six-seven months pregnant! The pain and soreness became unbearable and I was sent in for an endoscopy to rule out cancer, diverticulitis, and colitis (none of which I had, thank God). I was instead given an acronym. IBS. Irritable Bowel Syndrome. A collection of random bowel/colon disorders characterized by odd bowel movements, bloating, abdominal pain, gas, and other miscellany. I was told to take a medicine called IBGuard which would supposedly help. It is basically peppermint oil in a special coating to make sure it gets to the bowels. It didn't really help. I just ended up burping peppermint.
It took me a while, almost 8 months in fact to figure out the culprit. I was browsing a website (this one actually) looking for ways to lose weight with IBS, when I came across a post by a woman who claimed her IBS started when she started taking Depo Provera! Holy Heaping Plates of Spaghetti, Batman! When we removed my Nexplanon I started taking Depo again. In a rush, I emailed my doctor and revealed my discovery hoping that this wasn't just a fluke and she could corroborate my findings. After the email was whisked away to her inbox, I continued my research and again, Boom! It was all there. The gas, the bloating, the massive weight gain, everything. I was a bit taken aback by the fact that I had never had these side effects before when I was using the Depo but, as my doctor oh so gently pointed out, I'm not 20something anymore.
This whole long winded post was really to say that I have hated how I've been and every bite that has gone into my mouth has been laced with that self-hate. I knew I was eating right and exercising as well as I could but that didn't stop the feelings. I'm trying really hard to be done with treating myself that way. Tomorrow I'm meeting with my doctor again and we will be moving me off the Depo. That journey will be interesting and a bit scary too but at least I know that I've got my son, my family, my friends, and God looking out for me.
Onward, to the next step!