Successful weight loss
Monday, July 06, 2020
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. – Albert Schweitzer © Source: https://www.quotespedia.org/au
Happiness is the key to everything good. Always look on the bright side. Don't despair, Your time will come if you consistently focus on that which is good. You can see it is true with open and accepting eyes. 'Troubles never last' should be your mantra. Be happy. God (or the universe) will reward you. Happiness is success. Bob
The first step to overcoming your failure and rising to success is to accept the fact that you were not able to achieve the goal you had set. Whatever it is that you did not succeed at,that is in the past. This is the time to learn from your failure. Do not let feelings of inadequacy and desolation set in. Acceptance of failure in a project and yet retrying can be a very difficult thing to master, especially if you are in the habit of being very hard on yourself. Unfortunately, most of us are, and this can prove to be detrimental to our emotional, and sometimes mental, health. That is why it is so important to come to terms with the failure that is getting you down since those feelings can be very consuming, especially when you were very invested in the project.
But remember that many of the greatest successes in life occur when all hope seemed lost but a suggestion by a friend motivated the one that failed to try something different and this time it was successful.
I recall when I was in elementary school and I was very discouraged because I was always the last one to finish running a lap around the track. My gym coach took me aside and suggested that I work on running longer distances. He said he was going to challenge the class to see who could finish running four laps around the track first at the end of the spring semester and for me to start running around the block in my neighborhood to increase my stamina at long distance running. Sure enough at the end of the school year, although I did not come first in running four laps around the track, I came in second and was proud for some kids did not even finish the four laps..
This reminded me that success comes not only to those who seem to lose weight effortlessly in a short time, but also to those who are motivated to go the long route for the duration of the time needed to lose the weight. So when life seems difficult, it is time
to examine what happened to you and try to find an objective point of view about it. Do not make the mistake of believing that your apparent failure defines you. On the contrary, the only thing that defines you is the way you handle yourself in the face of adversity. That is when we find out what we are really made of. Unfortunately, many of us are programmed from an early age to believe that if something is hard or doesn’t come easy to us, or if we fail at our initial objective, then we are just not good at it. Perseverance is something that is usually not taught in most schools or households, except by example. And those examples can be sadly rare. Do not blame yourself for feeling crushed under the weight of your challenge. This is a natural reaction to have. It is far worse to punish yourself for "failing" because we didn't meet self imposed standards such as the success of others. Instead, consider the event that has discouraged you from all angles. Try to journal about the way it has made you feel. If you need to, you could even consider speaking to a friend or qualified professional who can help you to sort out the difficult feelings related to this event. This can be especially helpful if you have experienced some variety of trauma. Sometimes, traumatic events can make it that much more difficult to succeed, so working through them can be a great way to equip yourself with the tools and fortitude that can sometimes need to be developed in order to succeed.
Once you have been able to make peace with your failure and have stopped blaming
yourself and feeling resentful and embarrassed about it, instead beginning to see the
event as objectively as possible, you will begin to create the mental mind-space you
need to move forward. Instead of wasting time and energy being stressed out about
your past failures, you will be able to learn from them instead and begin to grow and
prepare yourself for a life of success!
Now that you have begun to
accept the way your challenge is
not actually a death-sentence
and actually something you are
able to look at with more
objectivity, it is time to look back
on this journey objectively and
begin to understand what it was
that was the most challenging for
you. When you are able to truly dissect what the hardest part of the situation you were
in happened to be, then you will be able to further steel yourself against failure in the
The first step in doing this is to be willing to answer hard questions. Ask yourself about
what part of the process was the most difficult for you to deal with. Why? How did you
feel when dealing with these setbacks? How long have you been battling with these
feelings? Have you done anything to address these thoughts and feelings, or have you
been dealing with them in silence?
Journal about your answers, because sometimes we are able to learn much more about
ourselves and go in depth about these things in writing. It can be very revealing,
because we become introspective and thoughtful about the question at hand. To truly
understand why we act the way we do, it can be helpful to identify patterns of behavior
that we can then address, and journaling is a good way to do that. It is a great way to
begin to really consider what it is that holds us back.
The second step is in learning to face your
fears. Instead of being intimidated by the
things that you are worried about,
remember that you are not the first one to
deal with these kinds of challenges and
setbacks. Each of us has quite a tally of
setbacks under our belts, and you might
just be able to find somebody out there, or
even a whole group of people, who can
offer their support and advice. It can help
to look online for communities of people
who have experienced similar challenges as
There are bound to be many others who
have dealt with the same issues you are, even if they are a little bit different. If you
speak with others who have been in the same boat as you have, it can be very
encouraging. They may be able to offer advice and strategies to cope with the kinds of
things you are dealing with. And it is inspirational to see people who have dealt with the
same setbacks find their footing again. If you have begun to believe you are not capable
of succeeding, or you are simply feeling afraid to take the next step, speaking with
someone who has been through what you are going through and survived it can really
give you the added encouragement you need in order to launch yourself over your
mental block and begin to make real progress.
It is unbelievably important to make sure that you are not being too hard on yourself.
Sure, you may be in a hard place, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong
with you. In fact, believing that your failure is an indication about your worth is the
fastest way to make yourself needlessly miserable!
Instead of staying stuck in your head and believing that it is because you don’t know
how to do anything right that you found yourself challenged, instead, begin to see that
most of the reasons you are feeling bad about yourself have to do with your fears of
failure. But failure doesn’t define you. In fact, it can be a great way to grow and learn.
To begin with, start to consider
the things that you are afraid of.
Now that you’ve experienced
your challenge and may have
already experienced the worst
case scenario head on, you are
likely to have encountered many
hidden fears. Instead of letting
those ears oppress you, bring
them to light by identifying them. Again, a journal can come in handy in this situation.
In a journal, try to list the fears that your challenge has brought to light. It will be a relief
to be able to identify them. And once you have identified them, then it is much easier to
address and overcome them!
You can even designate a specific journal toward expressing your fears and writing when
you feel as if you are overwhelmed by a scary situation. That way you will begin to
realize that you actually do have power even when you don’t feel like you do. Some
fears may even be irrational fears that have developed because of anxiety. Realistic
fears can be managed and prepared for, while irrational fears can be seen for what they
The fears you write about will become less imposing in your mind as you allow yourself
to process them and face them. Once you sense a fear, whether irrational or rational,
creeping up in your mind, you can journal about it and/or counter it with a mantra. For
irrational fears, you might want to say something to yourself like, “This fear is irrational,
and I am going to be okay,” while rational fears can be met with a mantra such as,
“Whether this situation happens or not, I can prepare for it and be stronger for it.”
Peace of mind is the greatest gift you could give yourself!
Something that most of us tend
to forget as we go through life is
that we are never going to get
things perfectly the first time.
When we do, it is either a fluke,
or simply a gift. For the most
part, we are stuck having to
learn. And the learning process
takes time. And sometimes,
more than others, that time can feel like an eternity. Especially when we put the
pressure on ourselves of thinking that in order to have value, we have to make sure that
we succeed at everything, all the time.
A lot of us don’t learn that adversity is something we should come to expect. Rather
than expecting it, we fear it, and do everything in our power to avoid it at all costs. This
can make it extremely challenging for us to learn how to solve problems and overcome
obstacles, which may lead to an even greater difficulty in coping with setbacks. That is
why it is important to change your mindset and begin to accept, and even expect,
If we accept the fact that we are never going to be perfect, then this can be much easier
to do. However, many of us experience demanding authority figures throughout our
lives that lead us to believe that if we are not excelling, then we are less valuable. It is a
dangerous trap that we find ourselves in, but all of us are able to overcome it, if we
know how and are willing and able to put our minds to it.
The first thing you have to do is stop being
so hard on yourself when you struggle.
Struggling is a normal part of life.
Everybody who was born struggle
somehow. In fact, the second we are born,
most of us began to cry because what we
experienced was a struggle. But it was one
that our mothers were able to face, and for our sakes, they overcame it the best that
they could. And we were also along for the ride, during an experience that was difficult
for everybody involved.
That should prove to be a lesson to us all. We are born struggling, and we are not going
to stop struggling. In fact, we should change our attitude about struggling rather than
trying to be perfect all the time. It creates unnecessary anxiety surrounding the process
of learning and having to work hard to achieve the things that we want to achieve. For
people who find it difficult to accept inadequacy, struggling can be that much more
People like this are often the most driven to succeed, which makes the challenge of
rising to the occasion that much more difficult. However, it should be an accepted fact
of life that nothing worthwhile comes easily. We should expect to be challenged, and
rise up to face those challenges without defining ourselves based on whether or not we
succeed at a goal. It is how we respond to failure that truly defines us. If we don’t have
the mental toughness that we need in order to bounce back after meeting an
unexpected challenge, then we may find ourselves shriveling at the first sign of
It does not make you a weak
person to have to take time and
energy to achieve your goals.
And it does not make you a
week or worthless person to
have goals that were difficult or
impossible to reach.
Sometimes, you may achieve
your goals through many years
of hard work and labor, and countless challenges. Other times, sometimes a goal is not
meant to be reached, and that is that. You have to learn how to define your own
definition of success, and try not to subscribe to society’s interpretation of what you
should be doing and how to define yourself as a success.
By accepting that failure is a part of life, and learning how to integrate it into your
learning process, then you are going to stop putting so much pressure on yourself to
succeed and linking your sense of self-worth with whether or not you are able to
achieve your goals. Sure, goals are important thing to have, but so is a strong sense of
self and confidence. You should be confident enough to look a challenge in the eye, and
even a failure, and accept the fact that you are where you are for a reason. Sometimes,
that reason is to help you learn something, and other times that reason is so that you
can achieve the goal and move forward from there.
No matter which direction your life
may take in, your time is not wasted
unless you begin to dwell on the things
that could have been rather than
focusing on a plan for your future.
Make yourself a promise that rather
than dreading failures and setbacks,
you will begin to expect them. In fact,
you should learn to embrace them, because they will provide you with insight about
your plans and your own biases that you would never get elsewhere.
Once you are able to look at failure as something that is bound to happen at some point,
you will stop taking it so personally when it does happen. The hardest part about failing
is not expecting it, half the time, well the second hardest part is trying to recover your
losses. If you always have another plan ready, and you are doing everything in your
power to make your goal a reality, then you have nothing to feel sorry about. Sure, you
might have some time and resources wasted, but that is nothing compared to the hours
of agony you will be sparing yourself by understanding that failure is simply another part
of life, and it is always better to count your blessings and move on.
Now that we’ve begun to process
the way that we have been
affected by our challenges and
setbacks, it is time to begin to
redirect our minds so that we
begin to understand just what it is
that is holding us back. Not only
that, but we will be able to fully
view these setbacks as an
opportunity rather than as a
determining factor in the rest of our lives.
When we make the mistake of over-thinking the significance of a failure in our lives, it
can become extremely dangerous. We should never equate ourselves with our
achievements. There are times we will do well and times we will not. There are plans
that we will succeed at and there are times we will not necessarily achieve our goals.
Whether we are able to achieve the things we most value in the moment or not, our
definition of success should not necessarily be perfection. None of us is perfect. That is
not realistic. You will make things much harder on yourself and stress yourself out
needlessly if you try to measure up to impossible standards.
Instead, do everything in your power to
shift your belief system so that you are
able to redefine success as something
that makes sense to you. It doesn’t
mean that conventional standards of
success. You don’t have to have a huge
house, or a beautiful condo, or the
family with a white picket fence. What
you have to do is to find something that truly makes you feel fulfilled, and a sense of
value that you locate from within, not from without.
It can be very dangerous to try to associate your sense of worth with outside material
possessions or measurements of success that rely on other people’s interpretation of
you and your intentions. The last thing you want to do is to fall into the trap of believing
that you are not the one who determines whether or not you should feel good about
yourself. It is always a bad idea to put control over your self-worth into the hands of
somebody else. Nobody wants to believe that they are worthless, but it is far more easy
to believe that you are worthless if you are basing your sense of worth on the wrong
Instead of defining your success based on these types of things, instead, begin to realize
that you are not unsuccessful at all. The only thing that makes anybody unsuccessful is
when they give up on themselves and stop believing that they will ever be able to
achieve the goals that mean the most to them. It can be very difficult for us to get over
making a mistake. That is partly because we are programmed to believe that our sense
of self-worth should be derived from doing well based on other people’s standards. This
type of conditioning begins right at school and follows us throughout our careers. We
have to make sure that we are doing everything right before we are rewarded, and this
begins to change the way we view ourselves.
The thing about that is, is that
everybody makes mistakes.
Everybody has a difficult time
adapting to other people’s
standards. And unfortunately,
achieving goals can take a lot of
work, and may entail jumping
through a lot of hoops that have to do with other people’s standards and
interpretations of success. This can be very draining emotionally and taxing, even
physically. Your resources may end up feeling very limited, along with your ability to feel
good about what you are doing.
But instead of feeling like a failure because you have made mistakes, and these types of
difficulties can be excessively hard to navigate, instead, try and view all of your mistakes
as learning opportunities. Nobody is going to do every single thing perfectly the first
time around. Life is all about learning, and taking risks that you know you’re not
necessarily going to land on your feet with. And sometimes, falling down can be the
hardest part, but it can also be the most rewarding. Without mistakes, then it is almost
impossible to move forward. You have to make them in order to navigate the difficult
terrain ahead of you, and mistakes like this are never as bad as they feel. Of course, it
cannot be helped that you feel badly about making mistakes. This is natural. However, it
is always better to believe in yourself and do everything in your power to remember
that no matter whether you fail or succeed, your goal is yours alone and you have the
power over whether or not you approach this with a level head and an objective
Staying objective is a great way to view mistakes from a very proactive angle. When we
do this, we are allowing ourselves to utilize all of the information that we receive from
our mistakes. We see things about our strategy that don’t work, and things about our
strategy that have worked. We see things that we could utilize further and applied to
the achievements of other goals, and we see things that should be cut out from the
process altogether. However, sometimes we are very blinded because we are personally
invested in the success of our goals, and this can prove to be challenging.
Of course setbacks can hurt, but the best thing that you can do for yourself, and for your
goals in general, is to learn how to be them from an objective standpoint. Only then will
you be able to truly understand just how important it is to make mistakes along the
way. No matter how big your mistakes feels, there is always a chance for redemption. It
is never too late. Just keep trying to learn about yourself and your process along the
way, and everything will turn out fine.
We mentioned the last chapter
that often times we are the
victims of bias in our own lives.
When this is the case,
sometimes we do not fully see
ourselves the way we truly are,
and we find that there are no
faults in our thinking. This type
of mentality can be very
destructive, because all of us make mistakes. All of us are human, and none of us have
all the answers.
That means that it can be very difficult for us to pinpoint when we have a negativity
bias. We all have this, all humans tend to value negative information more highly than
they value positive information. Interactions that leave you feeling horrible are often
weighed and interpreted as more important than interactions that leave us feeling
pretty good about ourselves. As horrible as this may be, it is just the way the human
brain operates, and it can be extremely detrimental to our mental and emotional wellbeing.
Fortunately, there are ways that we can begin to change our thinking patterns so that
we are no longer stuck dwelling on negative thoughts and situations. Sometimes, this
can require a significant amount of counseling or therapy, but what is the most
important here is that you do what you truly have to do in order to move on from your
negative thinking patterns so that you can succeed in this life.
The first thing you have to do to
change your negative thinking pattern
is to accept that you have one. If you
are not able to identify the fact that
you have a negative thinking pattern,
then you will never be able to address
it. Sit down and really think about what
it is that makes you feel badly about
yourself. Think about the things in your life that you could be viewing with a more
optimistic lens. A lot of the most successful people in this world have sworn by positive
affirmations and mantras, simply because negativity can be so overwhelming and we
can become easily discouraged when we are faced with a lot of negative information.
This can be especially difficult for us when that negative information relates to us and
what we identify as our successes or failures. We take these kinds of things personally,
whether or not we know objectively that we shouldn’t. And it’s a hard too. We are
spending so much of our time and energy working toward a specific goal, it can hurt us
deeply when we realized that our struggles and our efforts seem to have amounted to
nothing. Not only does that hurt us emotionally, but it hurts our pride. We do not want
to believe that we have wasted all of this time and energy on something that will not
become what we wanted it to.
I saw important to address your
negative thinking patterns.
Everybody has a hard time
maintaining a positive outlook
sometimes, but you have to be
able to train yourself to switch
your mindset from negative to
positive. This is where the
mantras and positive
affirmations can really come in handy. If you have a word or phrase that you can close
your eyes and repeat to yourself when you start to feel overwhelmed by a certain type
of situation, it can disrupt your negative thoughts and re-track your mind towards
something more positive.
This is exceptionally important, because not only does it help you feel a little bit better,
but it physically begins to rewire the neurons in your brain. The way we think becomes
habitual lysed and cemented in our neural pathways. We begin to have unconscious
impulses toward one reaction or another. This is why trauma can be so extremely
damaging. When we are used to having negative sensory input all the time, we may
begin to react negatively to things that don’t necessarily warrant that type of reaction.
We are out of control of our own synapses, and this can be very detrimental when you
are attempting to achieve any goal whatsoever.
Whether you have trauma or not, the fact remains that the brain begins to create
familiar pathways in the brain that help us to understand how to process the
information that we receive. If we begin to interpret our setbacks as opportunities
rather than reasons to feel horrible about ourselves, then we are able to interrupt the
neural pathways as they fire off down the line and reroute them into a more healthy
approach to achieving our goals.
This can be done for anything. If you are feeling overwhelmed by any situation, instead
of dwelling in that emotional addiction that your neurons have created for you, then
you should do everything in your power to distract yourself from those negative
thinking patterns. Close your eyes and take a few breaths, and then think about one of
your mantras. For example, if you are feeling overwhelmed because you feel as if you
will never achieve anything of value in your life, take a deep breath and close your eyes,
and tell yourself yes, I will achieve the things that I set out to achieve, even if it takes a
lot of work. This will help you to retrain your brain to begin to accept adversity as a
normal part of life, and not something that will ultimately determine that you are not
There is a reason that there are so many books out there about how powerful it can be
when you change your mindset to become more positive. It can be so easy to become
overwhelmed by the negative information surrounding us all. But when we are able to
truly transcend these self-imposed limitations our minds, the success we can achieve is
incredible. The best thing you could ever do for yourself is to begin to re-wire your brain
to have a more positive outlook, especially when it comes to achieving your goals. That
way, you will be able to move forward in your life and truly begin to succeed.
Chapter 6: Stop Fearing the Future
Every year as we grow older,
many of us begin to look at our
birthdays with dread. The same
can be true of the end of the
year, when everybody is
celebrating a new beginning. A
lot of us have a tendency to
feel negatively about these
hallmarks of our lives, because
we feel as though we are aging and we are losing something rather than gaining it. If we
are willing and able to understand that the future isn’t a bad thing, it can change
This can be very difficult though, especially if you have experienced a lot of negative
experiences in the past. You have become conditioned to believe that negativity is an
unavoidable part of life, and that the matter how difficult things are now or have been
in the past, it is possible for them to get worse. This can cause us to begin to suffer from
extreme anxiety about the future. Especially when it comes to achieving goals.
If you have become comfortable
identifying yourself as a failure, this
can be especially true. When you
think you are only good for messing
things up, then of course you will
have a hard time looking forward and
believing that there will be anything
of worth for you to find there. Sure,
you may have a small light of optimism when you look ahead, knowing that when day,
you will definitely achieve something special, but when you stop and take a look at the
rest of your life, sometimes what you may find is that you have not changed now from
the time when you began to repeat this cycle.
All of us want to have the hope that we will make things better and that we will truly
achieve something special. And all of us have the potential to make those dreams a
reality. However, we have to stop fearing the future and actually begin in the present to
make plans that are changing us every day, little by little, so that we are truly able to
A wise person once said that the definition of craziness is doing the same thing over and
over and expecting different results. So if you are afraid to look to the future and to try
and see the positive opportunities awaiting you there, consider what you have done in
the past, and the patterns that you have followed. What got in your way before? What
was it that truly stops you from continuing onward and doing something special?
A lot of the time, the only answer that is truly clear-cut and defined is ourselves. We get
in our own way. We overwhelm ourselves with fear and negativity and become
immobilized rather than energized to move forward. It can be so difficult to succeed
when we are typical humans with typical emotional lives. Emotions can be such an
overwhelming and inhibiting thing, and yet, it is a necessary part of life for us to have. It
is not a bad thing to feel. It is actually much worse to try to deny that you have feelings
at all. Because then, they turn into unconscious difficulties and challenges that make
success that much harder to accomplish.
This is why it is so important for us to begin to process our emotional lives, and take the
time out of our day to meditate and think about the way that we have been affected by
events throughout our day. We need to be able to be in total control of ourselves,
emotionally and physically. Exercise can help here too. It can give you the confidence
boost that you need to really believe that you are capable of accomplishing something
special. You are able to make small, gradual changes that ultimately result in something
When we are able to take these small steps toward empowering ourselves in our lives, it
can be that much easier to stop fearing the future. We have to understand how much
power we have in the here and now. When we start to make progress toward
accomplishing little goals that make us feel good about ourselves and make us truly
understand that there is a payoff to hard work, even if it is difficult to see it at the time,
then we will have a much clearer image of what it is that we want our future to look like
and how we are going to get
It is important to have a
relationship between yourself and
your power. You do have the
power to make great changes in your life, and you do have the power to change the way
that the future is shaping up for you. If you understand this and allow it to really
resonate in your mind, then you are going to have a great deal more confidence.
Taking those small steps to improve your vision of the future is important. You need to
allow yourself to become excited for new opportunities that will arise. You need to stay
on the alert and always looking for these things rather than letting them slip by you. The
future is huge, and it is full of so many great opportunities. The variables to our destiny
are limitless, but we have to be willing to take the first step toward achieving the goals
that will get us there.
Creating a vision board can be an extremely helpful way for you to begin to embrace the
future. If you look at the things that you want to accomplish and the small ways that you
can begin to achieve goals right this moment that will carry you forward in your future
and help you to achieve whatever goal you have in mind, then you are going to have
that much more of a chance at success.
Don’t let the future get you down. All of us are doing our best, and all of us have the
opportunity to embrace our future and turn it into an opportunity rather than a burden.
Begin taking the steps to do so today! You will be glad that you did
Chapter 7: Laying the Groundwork for Success By
Working on Plan A and Plan B
The one thing that most of us
can agree on is that there are no
guarantees in this life.
Sometimes, there are things that
seem definite, and yet they still
managed to fall through
somehow. This can be very
jarring and discouraging,
especially to somebody with a
sensitive disposition to may not have a lot of self-confidence. Self-confidence can be a
tricky thing to master, and even the most self-assured seeming peop