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Saturday, July 11, 2020

I have written in a long while. Things have not been good. Health wise I finally had my oral surgery for my teeth but it meant I was barely able to eat anything until yesterday. Then right after that went into the hospital for this extremely stressful horrible heart test where they stuck a tube up my arm. Luckily my heart is good, but that also means they don't know why I'm having chest pains... And on top of all of this, my marriage is falling apart. And even though I was barely eating and still fasting, I somehow keep gaining weight. Which I KNOW is probably just a mess of things and I'd have the woosh later, it happens. But still seeing the number go up is hard. So it began with a pizza and bread Thursday which I ate all of and continued into Friday with two separate food deliveries. Full on binge my heart out. And the worst was that none of the food was worth it or that good. I hate that I do that. I'm so depressed
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