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Time to change

Wednesday, August 05, 2020

Well hasn't 2020 sucked so far!?! Geez. Hard to wrap my head around that its over half done too.

Aside from the pandemic, life has been stressful and have been battling depression. I realized last week that its up to me to change it if I'm not happy. So here I go!

I have gained 45# over the past year. If I am not always on point and trying, my eating habits revert to the convenient crap foods. I'm a carb-a-holic. The more carbs I eat the more I crave and the worse I feel. I can't keep doing this to myself. I'm so very tired of feeling like crap (and looking like it too). I had to box up my nicer clothes I bought early last year because they don't fit anymore. emoticon

I decided I need to go low carb in order for me to change. I've tried every other "plan" under the sun with little success. The only success I had was Keto 3 years ago. I felt great and looked great. BUT, I burnt out after a year of being a "food nazi". I ended up not being happy.

Then in fall of 2018 was the car accident that hurt my back. 2019 was basically being disabled from Feb-September and then back surgery in October. The surgery was a success, it removed a cyst that was compressing my spinal cord causing numbness and difficulty walking. The cyst formed a couple vertebrae higher than where my back is injured though. The accident exposed severe degeneration which I will live with, but with limitations now. Medical bills are high and I'm unable to work my 2nd job, so our finances are trash. Pandemic is putting horrible emotional and financial strain on both DH and I.

So after a couple years of chaos...it's time. I cannot control a lot of things going on, but I am pretty sure I can do something positive for myself.

Today is day #3 of eating less than 100g of carbs daily. First day was super rough, not gonna lie. But I've done ok since then. I think that because I am able to have some carbs - just not junk food, I don't feel like I'm being denied foods. I'm going to enjoy our fresh local summer fruits! I denied myself that when I did Keto. How can I deny myself when I am living in the middle of agriculture country? We have orchards all around of peaches, apricots, cherries, nectarines, melons, and of course apples (it's WA after all...lol).

I think I have realistic expectations and goals this time around. emoticon
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