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Need (want) more vacation....

Monday, October 12, 2020

I'm having a TOUGH time focusing on work today. I really, really, really want to have some more vacation time. I have tons but am waiting to get final approval on taking/using it until I know when we're going to be able to take delivery of the new camper. But I'm also nervous that it'll come too late and I won't be able to get approval and we won't be able to have a NICE vacation. I don't want to just drive somewhere for the sake of driving somewhere. That's dumb. I want to ENJOY my vacation time.

Just had a thought. Need to set a plan. IF we don't get delivery by the end of October, THEN WHAT? Need to figure out a Plan B so I'm not totally blind-sided. As it is, I still don't even know for sure how to make this work. And we have Thanksgiving coming up. And Michael wants to visit mid-November for his 21st birthday. And. And. AND. And I always feel like I'm being selfish when I want to draw the line and do something for me. Oooooo. And I must be hitting a chord right now because typing that just put me on the verge of tears. Hmmmm. I can't keep putting ME off. I need to figure this out better. UGH. It's HARD to figure this stuff out. It's easier to just keep bottling it up and putting it off and saying it's what I "need" to do to be a grown-up. That adulting stuff (b.s.). It's NOT healthy. I can feel my chest tensing up as I try to finish this blog. NEED TO FOCUS ON THIS. After work. (Rolling my eyes.)

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