Light scale, heavy ego
Sunday, November 08, 2020
You know what? I've been a silly girl lately. I have been shooting for a weight that I haven't been since I was eighteen and I am 60 now. I keep hitting it and then flying back up on the scale all month, and it's aggravating me.
FOR NO REASON.
Well... not for "no" reason.
Because of my ego.
I really don't want my ego to have ANYTHING TO DO with my weight and my health and my happiness. I want my weight to be a fair and constant reflection of good choices, but I DON'T want it to be a number that I treat like a badge of honor, like a sticking-out-my-tongue at myself because I never imagined I could be anywhere near a weight I was when I was a teenager.
And I don't need to.
Do my clothes feel different if I weight two more pounds? Of course not. Are my measurements different if I am two pounds lighter? No they are not. It's only my ego that gets to make that smug and smirky face in the mirror at high school weight, as if the mirror cares at all.
I don't want to be a grown ass woman who only cares about a number on a scale. My efforts are a result of so much more and so much better than that. I needed to put myself in my place, today.
Yes, I can be 138 pounds. No... I cannot sustain it for more than a few days. And that is hurting my feelings! Which just goes back to the fact that it's my ego talking and not my good sense.
Glad I had this talk with myself, LOL.