Wednesday, January 20, 2021
I live in a strange series of waves now. I have symptom waves. I have artistic waves. I have good/bad memory waves. I have fatigue/energy waves. I have sensory waves.
Symptom Waves – I will have hours/days/weeks of one type of symptom followed by a different wave. I will have waves of hours/days weeks of not being able to balance well, hitting my head on walls and such in the middle of the night, then go a month or more without that problem. I will go for a while seeing multiple images (double vision but more than double) making the glasses prescribed to me for my current myopia and astigmatism utterly useless – I just see several CRISPER layered/overlaid images. Then I will go a month or more with only mild double vision and severely increased myopia issues. Blech.
Artistic Waves - I will go for weeks almost nonstop creating. It seems to have tunnel vision content wise. I’ve had a watercolor cephalopod wave, a Whovian wave, a zentangle wave and, currently, an acrylic sea turtle wave. Sometimes two waves hit back to back (the cephalopods were tightly followed by the Whovian wave). They are followed, however by weeks or months of barely being able to focus long enough for a brief sketch. Near the end of a wave I feel a “crossfade” coming as each creation takes longer to create and symptoms start flaring up while I make them.
Memory Waves – I remember where I put things! I remember what I said to hubby a few minutes ago! I remembered an appointment! Then, in a couple of weeks, I can’t remember the words that just came out of my mouth, whether I fed the dog or took my supplements. There is not predictor for which things I will remember when. I remembered where I put my glasses last night but that was no guarantee I would remember the conversation I just had with hubby or that he asked me to order something online.
Fatigue/Energy Waves – I can go any length of time with thyroid level/type fatigue, then suddenly feel like I’ve had an espresso and cannot stop thinking, talking, or moving. Again, no signs to predict which I will have when.
Sensory Waves – there will be days when I can walk to the mailbox (1/2 mile round trip) midday with my headphones on my head but not turned on and only shading my eyes from time to time. Then there are days I cannot handle the level of sunlight coming in through my windows or the sound of conversation in the same room. I cannot handle the hood light over my stove (type and angle of light issues) but have to have multiple lights on to see what I’m painting. So done with unpredictability.