GAILMARYFRANCES
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Having "It" Together

Saturday, February 27, 2021

In my 20's, I was one of those that wished I had the wisdom of someone much older--they seemed to have it all together. Now I think that people at my age, 60's, just cover it up better. OR they have learned to accept their foibles better.

A four-step process for becoming my best me:

1) Observe self-destructive behavior and listen to others' observations
2) Let go of self-destructive thoughts by understanding where they originally come from
3) Start replacing thoughts and behaviors to teach the brain another route
4) Live in the truth of who I am and love that truth

Throughout my life, one lesson leads to another. Earlier last year I realized one of my negative thoughts was about "never being satisfied." That state of being dissatisfied wiped out a lot of joy--but then once I named it and could observe being dissatisfied hovering over me, I could tame it. After working on this for over a year, I am aware that this mentality will want to surface again, and I have the tools to stop that negative thought. Currently, the temptation is to be dissatisfied with my current weight. It is what it is and I am doing what I am able to do.

Now another one has emerged and I am going to treat it just like I did with being dissatisfied. I believe this thought is common among youngest, but we don't have the sole ownership. This one is the self-talk of "I am incompetent." What an eye opener, that has been trying to surface for a long time. And I would constantly reinforce that notion any time someone tried to teach me something. Ultimately, I have come to the conclusion that I don't want to be responsible. If I say I am incompetent, then I don't have to be in the driver's seat. This leaves me with choices. I can allow my self time to learn and accept responsibility for carrying through. I can also give myself permission to say, no. I don't have to keep proving to myself whether I am competent or incompetent. Just do what I do to the best of my ability and enjoy learning and growing and loving.

In writing this, I am owning it. That feels good! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • WHITECAT19

    What they said! This definitely resonates with me, too. Thank you!

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    46 days ago
  • CHERIRIDDELL
    What a wise blog ,I bet you would be surprised how many people see themselves in your blog!
    46 days ago
  • DIANEDOESSMILES
    I love being older, hey there are just things I am not good at and THAT"s OKAY!! We all have our strong points, and our area's of NON INTEREST so why excel? I do not need to excel on everything, perhaps one or 2 things, but yes that's about it.

    And yes, I agree older ones do appear to have more wisdom, because ,,, we do! I do not know it all, and that's okay. My Dad taught me eons ago, "if you don't know it and can fluff it off that you do, in a WILD story (so wild everyone knows it's not true) ENJOY watching their faces. LOL Dad was right it's simply to much fun!


    46 days ago
  • BUTTONPOPPER1
    I can't believe how timely this blog is for me. I struggled all day yesterday with feeling incompetent. After having to switch to online teaching from in-person, I felt exactly as you describe here. "I can't do it," was my initial reaction, and I inwardly resisted it pretty violently. Then after a few classes, I got a little used to it and started feeling hopeful. Then on Friday, I had a pretty bad class and felt totally incompetent, which led to a very down day yesterday. I truly felt like quitting.

    So it was very good to read your blog, especially your last sentence: "Just do what I do to the best of my ability and enjoy learning and growing and loving." I would not have thought to add "loving" to that sentence, but thinking carefully, it really, really fits and gives me great hope and motivation. Thank you.
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    47 days ago
  • KATIE5668
    Such great insight..I especially like the giving yourself permission to say NO. That seems to be a difficult one for so many and it is a huge step towards self care!! The closing sentence was awesome!! great blog!! emoticon
    47 days ago
  • 17LYNDA
    Be the best that we can be...
    47 days ago
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