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KITTYHAWK1949's Blogs

jokes day 214
Monday, September 28, 2020      13 comments

What is the difference between a wood tick and a lawyer? A wood tick falls off you when you die. Why won't sharks eat lawyers? Professional courtesy. My first husband loved lawyer jokes after he became one and I think his favorite ... Read more
jokes day 213
Sunday, September 27, 2020      11 comments

A county extension agent is visiting a farm and needs to use the toilet, but he remembers that there is no running water. So he runs around back to the outhouse, opens the door, and the hired man is sitting there. But the hired man says, "It's... Read more
jokes day 212
Saturday, September 26, 2020      12 comments

Four big executives are playing golf together. On the second tee they hear a phone ring, and Michael Eisner reaches into his golf bag, pulls out a cellular phone, and talks to his office awhile. They play the second hole. On the third tee t... Read more
jokes day 211
Friday, September 25, 2020      15 comments

The lieutenant is leading his troops into battle, and his sergeant says, "Sir, there's a whole platoon of enemy coming toward us." And the lieutenant says, "All right, sergeant, bring my red shirt." So the lieutenant puts on his red shirt, and... Read more
jokes day 210
Thursday, September 24, 2020      12 comments

My company put me up in a pretty low-class hotel. I called the front desk and said, "I've got a leak in my sink." They said, "Go ahead." Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs. ... Read more
jokes day 209
Wednesday, September 23, 2020      13 comments

This sailor met a pirate in a bar, and the sailor couldn't help but notice that the pirate was pretty badly the worse for wear. He had a peg leg, a hook, and an eyepatch. So the sailor asked the pirate how he got the peg leg, and the pirate a... Read more
jokes day 208
Tuesday, September 22, 2020      15 comments

"Gladys, it's like a miracle. Every night when I get up and go to the bathroom, God turns the light on for me, and when I'm finished, he turns the light off." "Harry--you're doing it in the refrigerator again!" Why do you feel so sophist... Read more
jokes day 207
Monday, September 21, 2020      14 comments

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "It's cute, but can you really breathe through that thing?" Two guys are captured by cannibals. They're stuck naked in a big pot of water over a fire, and the water gets hotter and hotter. All... Read more
jokes day 206
Sunday, September 20, 2020      17 comments

So, Professor, you're back from the Rawalpindi archipelago, huh? Discover anything interesting out there? Yes. The tribe has discovered a kind of palm frond that can be made into suppositories to cure constipation. Do they really work? H... Read more
jokes day 205
Saturday, September 19, 2020      11 comments

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he got on the plain, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas." When he finally arrived in Texas, he decid... Read more
jokes day 204
Friday, September 18, 2020      15 comments

Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes. What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. So far, so good. Did my 2 times on bike for 15 minutes each. My son has his sleep times all messed up after stayin... Read more
jokes day 203
Thursday, September 17, 2020      14 comments

There was this woman who had a problem with silent gas. She went to her doctor and she said, "This is so embarrassing. I have this problem of farting silently. You probably haven't noticed, but I've let three of them since I've been in this o... Read more
jokes day 202
Wednesday, September 16, 2020      11 comments

What happened to the fly on the toilet seat? He got p!ssed off! A man walks into his house with a handful of dog turds, and says to his wife, "Look what I almost stepped in!" So the bike isn't totally finished but I only have the ped... Read more
jokes day 201
Tuesday, September 15, 2020      13 comments

Two airline mechanics get off work at LaGuardia, and one says, "Let's go have a beer." The other says, "Why don't we try drinking jet fuel? I hear it tastes like whiskey, and you don't have any hangover in the morning." So they drink about a ... Read more
jokes day 200
Monday, September 14, 2020      11 comments

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids won't eat broccoli. What do you get when you mix holy water with castor oil? A religious movement! Had a surprise today when my bike arrived. It has to be put together and I... Read more

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