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KITTYHAWK1949's Blogs

jokes day 231
Thursday, October 15, 2020      5 comments

A lawyer comes to visit his client on death row, and he says, "I have some good news for you." And the client says, "What good news are you talking about? You lost my case, I was convicted of a murder I did not commit, and I've been sentenced ... Read more
jokes day 230
Wednesday, October 14, 2020      12 comments

The defendant knew he didn't have a prayer of beating the murder rap, so he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of manslaughter. The jury was out for days before they finally returned a verdict of manslaughter. Afterward the defendant ... Read more
jokes day 229
Tuesday, October 13, 2020      12 comments

Why is it unethical for lawyers to have sex with their clients? Because it'd mean being billed twice for essentially the same service. I dated a lawyer for a while, until one time she told me, "Stop and/or I'll slap your face." What ... Read more
jokes day 228
Monday, October 12, 2020      8 comments

"Are you a lawyer?" "Yes." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars for four questions." "Isn't that awfully expensive?" "Yes. What's your fourth question?" Big gain after week of over eating - no surprise. Went to bed a bit... Read more
jokes day 227
Sunday, October 11, 2020      9 comments

A New York man was forced to take a day off work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood befor... Read more
jokes day 226
Saturday, October 10, 2020      16 comments

How was copper wire invented? Two lawyers were arguing over a penny. Ninety percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. Had a few things to do today and I only forgot a couple. One was I wanted to check if could get hair cut. Gues... Read more
jokes day 225
Friday, October 09, 2020      14 comments

Two lawyers went into the restaurant and ordered two drinks. Then they got sandwiches out of their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter said, "Hey, you can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" So the lawyers traded sandwiches. Have a... Read more
jokes day 224
Thursday, October 08, 2020      13 comments

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented by both of you with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000... Read more
jokes day 223
Wednesday, October 07, 2020      14 comments

Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim? Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury? Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a hell of a lot better than the penalty for murder! Have a great Hump Da... Read more
jokes day 222
Tuesday, October 06, 2020      12 comments

How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? Depends on how thin you slice them. This international law firm advertises for a secretary. A golden retriever comes in, and she passes the typing test. In the interview, the personnel mana... Read more
jokes day 221
Monday, October 05, 2020      11 comments

The lawyer is cross-examining the doctor about whether he checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate. "No," he said, "I didn't check his pulse." "And did you listen for a heartbeat?" said the lawyer. "No, I di... Read more
jokes day 220
Sunday, October 04, 2020      13 comments

A young lawyer meets the devil at a bar association convention and the devil says, "Listen, if you give me your soul and the souls of everyone in your family, I'll make you a full partner in your firm." And the young lawyer says, "So...what's t... Read more
jokes day 219
Saturday, October 03, 2020      11 comments

A lawyer had just undergone surgery. As he came out of the anesthesia, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, Doctor?" "There's a big fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation was a failure." Have... Read more
jokes day 218
Friday, October 02, 2020      12 comments

Why does New Jersey have so many toxic waste dumps and Washington, D. C. has so many lawyers? New Jersey got first choice. The judge said to his dentist: Pull my tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth. My older son called... Read more
jokes day 217
Thursday, October 01, 2020      13 comments

What do you have when you've got six lawyers buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand. A lawyer sent a note to a client: "Dear Jim: Thought I saw you on the street the other day. Crossed over to say hello, but it wasn't you, ... Read more

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