KITTYHAWK1949
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KITTYHAWK1949's Blogs

jokes day 290 but I missed yesterday
Monday, December 14, 2020      11 comments

A banjo is like an artillery shell--by the time you hear it, it's too late. Hey, buddy. How late does the band play? Oh, about half a beat behind the drummer. A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed... Read more
jokes day 289
Saturday, December 12, 2020      10 comments

This old rancher in Montana hates wearing a seat belt. One day he's driving on the highway with his wife and sees a state patrol car behind him. He says to his wife, "Quick, take the wheel! I gotta put my seat belt on!" So she does, and righ... Read more
jokes day 288
Friday, December 11, 2020      7 comments

This cop pulled a guy over and said, "Sir, I need you to breathe into this Breathalyzer for me." "I can't do that. I'm an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really big asthma attack." "Okay. Then I need you to come down to the station w... Read more
jokes day 287
Thursday, December 10, 2020      12 comments

The town cop was parked outside a bar at midnight, watching for drunk drivers, when he saw a man stumble out the door, trip over the curb, try thirty cars before opening the door to his own, and fall asleep on the front seat. One by one the dri... Read more
jokes day 286
Wednesday, December 09, 2020      12 comments

The police officer sees a car weaving back and forth down the highway, and he takes off after it. He pulls up alongside and sees the driver is a little old lady, and she's knitting as she drives. He can't believe it, and he yells at her, "Pull... Read more
jokes day 285
Tuesday, December 08, 2020      6 comments

The state trooper is driving down the highway when he sees a truck driver pull over, walk to the side of his truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck several times, and then drive away. Two miles down the road he does the same thin... Read more
jokes day 284
Monday, December 07, 2020      12 comments

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. "I juggle them in my act," says the juggler. "Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let's see you do it." So the juggl... Read more
jokes day 283
Sunday, December 06, 2020      13 comments

Doctor: Sir, how did you happen to break your leg? Patient: Well, Doctor, it was like this. Twenty-five years ago, I was on the road and it got dark and... Doctor: Never mind that. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning. Patient:... Read more
jokes day 282
Saturday, December 05, 2020      9 comments

A guy goes to the doctor, and the doctor tells him he only has a day to live. He goes home to tell his wife, who asks him what he wants to do with his final hours. of course he wants to spend them having sex. They have great sex all night lon... Read more
jokes day 281
Friday, December 04, 2020      10 comments

Patient: What's wrong? Why am I in a hospital? Doctor: You've had an accident. Patient: What happened? Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Patient: What's the bad news? Doctor: We had to amputate both of you... Read more
jokes day 280
Thursday, December 03, 2020      6 comments

Patient: I'm feeling terrible. Am I dying? Doctor: I'll have to examine you. Hmm...hmmm...I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time. Patient: Oh no! How long have I got? Doctor: Ten... Patient: ... Read more
jokes day 279
Wednesday, December 02, 2020      8 comments

A man is feeling poorly, so he goes to his doctor. After numerous tests the doc says, "I'm sorry, but you have an incurable condition and there is nothing more I can do for you." The man pleads with the doctor to suggest anything he might do t... Read more
jokes day 278
Tuesday, December 01, 2020      11 comments

Patient: Doctor, you've got to help me. Some mornings I wake up and think I'm Donald Duck, and other mornings I think I'm Mickey Mouse. Doctor: Hmm, and how long have you been having these Disney spells? A man walks into the psychiatri... Read more
jokes day 277
Monday, November 30, 2020      13 comments

Hello? Is this the state mental hospital?" "Yes, it is." "Can I speak to Mr. Russell in room twenty-seven?" "One moment and I'll connect you... (pause) I'm sorry Mr. Russell is not answering." "Good. That means I must have really escap... Read more
jokes day 276
Sunday, November 29, 2020      11 comments

A woman went to a dentist to have a tooth pulled and there was instant electricity between the two. They made love right there in his office. She came back week after week and they made love over and over and over again. Until one day he told... Read more

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