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ANNIESADVENTURE's Photo ANNIESADVENTURE Posts: 6,774
7/11/20 10:28 A

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I did good last night. Well, I did bad by staying up way too late (went to bed at 4 AM, fighting sleep, too tired and down to get up and go to bed). But I did good in how I handled it. I came here and wrote and wrote and wrote. I journaled. I blogged.
I was tempted in the early morning hours to eat but I said no. My reasoning that it was no big deal if I ate. Stinking thinking because I was already feeling down because I was over on calories for the day. How does eating a little more turn that around? Stinking thinking.
This morning I feel great because I resisted. I did not give in. I can do this! I know I can because I've done it many times. I do not have to eat every time the thought pops into my head.

I am down 0.4 pounds from what I weighed yesterday morning. Only 0.4 pounds! What! Hey, I deserve more than that.
No, I don't. Count it a lucky escape, an undeserved mercy, that I still lost weight while being over by more than 500 calories for the day. The mystery of how my body can lose weight when I gave it too much fuel is more than I can understand. I am grateful. Count it as a blessing.
It is also a blessing to feel good this morning because I did not give in last night.

I will be glad in this moment. I will not think about how far I have to go, or how stupid I have been to allow a few pounds to creep back on during the first part of this year. I will celebrate 0.4 pounds that I am not carrying today.






My list for today:
1. Quiet time and meditation - done
2. Filing business papers (carried over from yesterday's list)
3. Exercise - done
4. Cleaning - done






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7/10/20 9:36 P

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This was the first response to the blog I just posted:

KITT52
"I focus on what I did well for the day...and then how can I do even better tomorrow knowing I am human and I will make mistakes.
I try to learn from my mistakes.."

I need to consistently follow this advice. Those darned emotions get in the way and lie to me. When I use the tracker, sometimes it shows that things are not as bad as my feelings would like me to believe. However, there are other times when the tracker backs up my feelings, pointing the accusing finger and confirming that I went over on calories. I hate that feeling of hopelessness.
Lately I have been reminding myself that I CAN DO THIS. I have done it in the past. It is encouraging to look at the weight I lost and kept off, If I did it before, I can do it again. I can do this!

What did I do RIGHT today?
It will not be perfect. What can I learn from my mistakes today?


* * * * *

One of my goals on my Start Page is to write down 3 good things that happened to me today.

1. I did not have to go anywhere today. That's good for me.

Our governor (who is wiser than anyone else) has decided that as of next Monday, anyone caught in a public place without a mask can be fined $500. It is a misdemeanor. If a business serves anyone without a mask, they could have their business license suspended.
What a smart virus. It won't hurt us this weekend, but starting Monday we have to wear a mask.
So I will continue to stay home as much as possible. I have only been out twice since March 2. Once was to the drive-up window at the bank so there was no face-to-face interaction. The other time was for an appointment at the eye doctor. They took my temperature before I entered the building and made sure I had a mask.

I have a surgical mask that is meant for sterile conditions like a surgical unit. It is not effective for protecting me or others from COVID. Someone posted a picture today of that actually printed on the box. The virus is so small it can penetrate woven fabric. The virus can enter around the eyes, too, and the mask does nothing to stop it.
The mask is hot. It is uncomfortable. I have to keep holding the top or bottom away from my face so I can get some air. I get a terrific headache when I wear a mask. Someone did an experiment on Facebook to show why it can cause a headache. Of course Facebook, in their all-knowing unbiased wisdom, slapped a "Partially false" label on it.
Since I will re-use the surgical mask as many times as I need to wear one, it probably renders it germy and even more ineffective. It is not washable.
I have another mask made by a friend that is even hotter and more uncomfortable than the surgical mask. It is washable.

The "resurgence" of the virus appears to be a weaker version, according to some. It is being used for political reasons. It's okay to be part of a mob protesting and rioting. It's not ok to go to a political rally or church. They do not practice social distancing when mobbing. They require social distancing at church and absolutely NO SINGING because that can spread germs. They know they can't control a mob but nice little church people are easier to arrest. Can you hear my frustration? Not saying social distancing is right or wrong. Just asking why are the rules so arbitrary and illogical.
Once the elections are over in November, all of these rules will probably go away.

The statistics are not accurate. A number of medical sources say that have been pressured to list deaths as COVID related when that is not the cause of death. Why would anyone want inflated numbers? What is the motive?

Another problem with the reporting is that they are using raw totals, not total per cent per population. When our deaths are reported as a percentage of the population, we are lower than many countries.
Another important fact that the mainstream media does not say much about is how low the death count is to the total amount of people who have tested positive. That means most people recover. Many do not even have symptoms which makes one question how reliable the tests are.

One factor that has caused higher totals was caused by the states that mandated that nursing homes (who have a high population of weaker elders) would have to take COVID patients. That caused many deaths in their elderly residents. It is a high percentage of the total deaths.

Not downplaying how horrible this disease can be. It's too bad they blocked doctors from prescribing the meds that work because they didn't like that Trump had mentioned it on the news. Our governor even threatened to bring doctors up on charges if they prescribed it, though she has probably walked that back since a medical system in our state put out the widely-accepted recent study that shows that medication is effective when used with an antibiotic.

I do not know personally know anyone that has the virus.

Rant over. I try not to get political on here but hardly anyone reads my journal so it gives the illusion of being private. Not.

What good things happened today? I could list all the bad things that didn't happen, but I'll try to make the last two more positive.

2. I stuck with intermittent fasting today. That is a wonderful improvement. Daily goal of intermittent fasting, score one for today.

3. I stuck with OMAD. Only the evening meal today.

Unfortunately it was too many calories because I didn't stop when approaching full. What went wrong? Thinking that I had to eat enough since I would not be eating again until tomorrow. Now how counter-productive is that? If I am going to think that way, I might as well eat 3 meals a day!

Sis made meatloaf. Not low carb. She put the potatoes over late so they were not done at the same time, so RJ served the meatloaf with a potato salad from the market. I sliced up a whole tomato to eat with my meal.
After I was almost done eating, she said the potatoes were ready. I already ate potato salad. Instead of walking away, I had a potato with seasonings and butter.

I like a sweet at the end of a heavy meal so I usually have one or two grapes. Not this time. I had miniature pieces of chocolate. Then I had a few more. Crikey! So with one meal, I am over on calories!
* * * * *

Something very strange is happening to my taste. We don't eat a lot of meat but I am still a farm girl, growing up on meat, vegetables, and fruit.

The last few years Sis has not liked the smell of cooking meat. I thought it strange but didn't say anything.

Fast forward a couple of years, and now I am have joined her. I like juicy, greasy cheeseburgers. Now I can't countenance the smell of beef cooking, nor do I care for the taste. The burger has to be slathered in condiments and cheese to get it down. I secretly feed pieces (without condiments) to the dog.
Chicken has to be crispy or I have trouble eating it, too. It's not too bad in stir-fries if it's cut into tiny wee pieces.
I still like barbecued meats, covered in yummy messy sauce. Not into dry rub barbecues.

And my favorite, pizza? The soft texture is off-putting. How can this be? I love gooey melted cheese. Even foods I didn't like (cooked cauliflower) is tolerable slathered in melted cheese. Not any more.

Each week I used to select a cheese to try from a special section at the market. Now I don't even like cheese I once loved.

Most fruits and vegetables still taste good. There will always be ones that I have not liked since childhood, like cooked beets and cooked cauliflower and cooked carrots. I like pickled beets and raw cauliflower and carrots.
I like eggplant that is thinly slice, breaded and fried crispy but don't care for it when it's cooked and soggy. I prefer most cooked vegetables to be a little crispy still. Don't like mushy cooked vegetables.
That means I didn't like the mushy texture of ham and bean soup, or pea soup. Since my little Sis (not the sister that lives with me) lives in the South, I have learnt to eat the bean soup over cornbread like a true Southerner. It's rarely on our menu here.

I had two sisters who were "allergic" to chocolate.
Humpf, I am above that. This year I've started to have the same problem Sis has with chocolate if I consume too much in a short period. Of course, you didn't hear that from me and I will never admit it. Intolerance to chocolate? Too shocking to even consider.
I will tell you a secret. I am not crazy about chocolate. Sometimes it tastes chalky. Would I be willing to abstain from chocolate forever? I won't go that far.
They even tell us that chocolate with a higher concentration of cocoa is good for us!
Most of the time I prefer a non-chocolate candy, like a nut bar (not the kind with nougat). I can't keep the KIND brand of nutty bars in the house because I treat them like candy.
I tried Turkish Delight a couple of years ago after reading about it in an English children's book. Good thing we don't have that in our stores! It was quite pleasant.

I prefer salty to sweet. My most regular cravings used to be for crispy/crunchy. Fried crispy as in crab rangoon, egg rolls, fried chicken skin. Not crunchy as in celery or carrots.




Since I can't get in my car and drive by myself anymore, I rarely have access to any of those foods now. It's just as well.

So far now, I will stick with my fruits and vegetables and the occasional fish.

I've gone through periods where nothing sounds or tastes good. I bought a half-size spiral notebook to jot down ideas and paste pictures of dishes to create to tempt me to eat healthy. I have a folder on my computer where I save pictures that people have posted online of healthy dishes they made. I also save some into my Pinterest account.
I used to love to cook and try new recipes. Now they have to be simple because standing too long causes me pain.
I need to do some serious meal planning like I used to do when I was the main cook.

I am trying to mend my ways and go to bed by midnight. Time to sign off for tonight.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/10/2020 (23:59)



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7/10/20 7:45 P

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I moved some of this into a blog tonight. Maybe it will encourage someone
* * * * *

I really need some encouragement tonight.
Sometimes we need to be our cheerleader, so here is a dose of encouragement.

You have all the self-control you need. It is a fruit of the Spirit.






I have been thinking about this lately. I am not howling for the moon or asking the impossible. I just want to be the best version of myself, living my best life for this period in my life.
What does that look like? Healthy. All the other things I want to do depend on this body to do them.









Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/10/2020 (21:17)



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7/9/20 5:27 P

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Something to think about. Post by 1CRAZYDOG
"Why is it that so few people view themselves w/a sense of wonder . . . awe . . . enchantment? It is the result of the socially-induced delusion of “not quite good enough”. Sara Maria




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7/9/20 11:03 A

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SWEETENUFGILL, do I ever understand! It's hard to stay consistent when the world is changing so fast and not for the better.

The craziness of 2020 has affected my peace of mind more than I like.

* * * * *

Food has been creeping in too often. Too many calories every day. At my age and decreased activity level, it does not take many calories to sustain life. Then try to make the calorie level conducive to losing weight, too! I have been doing this enough years that I know where that point is for me. Go over that line will put on pounds every time. Consume too few calories for several days in a row is counter-productive because of weight loss stalls. This is good knowledge that I can work with to achieve success.
The problem is that I haven't been working with it consistently this year. Here we are, seven months into the year, and I have little to show for it. I can blame it on the 2020 craziness we've had to deal with. That is not helpful. The truth is that I alone am responsible for indulging in behavior that derailed the wonderful progress I was making last year. I lost and kept off more than 70 pounds last year. I know how to do this.

The good news is that I haven't regained all that weight. Even though I weigh more than I did on January 1, I am still in a fairly good place. How I HATE having to re-lose pounds already lost!

I just blogged about pre-planning the day to achieve greater success, sharing the video I wrote about in the last entry. Now I need to practice what I preach and do some concrete planning. I always have a mental plan that habit has enforced to a degree, but now I need to spend time writing it down. That will eliminate the extra bites.
I know intermittent fasting works. It eliminates eating outside of my eating window. That can be two meals if that is working better for me now.
I prefer OMAD -one meal a day- but do I want to fight that battle with myself to get back to doing OMAD consistently? Once it's a habit, it's a breeze. It only takes a few days to get my mind to accept it. Can I be tough enough to do that now? This morning I am emotionally ready to follow through. I was up 2+ pounds from what I weighed yesterday morning. This month has been consistently up every morning. I can't continue that.

I know exactly why weight gain is happening.
1. I am eating too often.
2. I am not eating enough clean, whole, unprocessed food.
3. Carbs are high.
4. Added sugars!
5. Night-time munching

By the end of the day, I am not feeling physically well because of this behavior. I tell myself I will not keep doing it.


Here is today's plan:
20 minutes of walking -done
12 side kicks, 12 front kicks, 12 back kicks -done
12 shoulder range of motions with rope and pulley-over-the-door rangemaster
Afternoon nap (to eliminate leg swelling and get more sleep) -done
OMAD meal: tomato soup, grilled cheese sandwich (multigrain bread) - done
Intermittent Fasting. Drink only water, black coffee or tea without additives outside the eating window.
Quiet time. reading the Bible, prayer, meditation. - done
Listen to uplifting music. - done
Limit time on unsocial media.
Finish the book I am reading.
File paperwork (business).
Fill weekly medication dispensers. - done

Work on my vision book.Time for an update.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/9/2020 (16:57)



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7/9/20 4:35 A

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emoticon

Today I am making an exercise plan - I've started and stopped several things since lock-down, and am not doing anything consistently. I am making a plan!

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




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7/9/20 3:02 A

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www.facebook.com/saraborgstede/videos/2667
691336779848


Organization is more important than will power for weight loss.
We may need will power for the unexpected. However, if we've set up a plan (for eating, exercise, sleep, or whatever), then we don't have to exercise will power all day long to make these decisions. Following the plan becomes habit. It's exhausting to constantly have to make these decisions all day long. Planning ahead makes it easier.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/9/2020 (03:07)



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6/29/20 9:15 A

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www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_ar
ticles.asp?id=604

This link is to a goal setting and tracking article on Spark. I saved it awhile ago. Need to re-read and try to implement some of the tracking ideas for those goals. This is beyond the things I already track on the Nutrition tracker, Exercise tracker, and Other Goals tracker. I might change up the Other Goals trackers with some of the things I have already added there.




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6/28/20 2:23 P

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It's Sunday. We had a hearty family dinner after church.
I am within my calorie range, closer to the bottom. That's what I aim to do. Total calories for today are 1232.
Higher carbs. Rice and corn in the same meal. My Spark carb range is higher than I would choose,150-273. Carbs came in at 127 today.

That's my one meal for today. The rest of the day will be water, black coffee, or tea without additives. Doing good!

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/28/2020 (14:27)



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6/25/20 4:43 P

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www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=6678286


Insightful blog by A New Chapter. I'm too tired now to take it all in so I'm posting a link to remind me to go back and read it slowly when I'm more alert. It's things she has learned from her seven years on Spark.




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6/24/20 1:40 P

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Dave Ramsey
6/24/20 posted on Facebook
"EVERYONE starts somewhere. Some people even start more than once. Don't compare yourself to people around you. You've got YOUR goals. Focus on those and get to work.
You can do it!"
* * * * *
Dave Ramsey is a financial advisor with a lot of common sense advice that has been so helpful to me over the years.

I have found many of the principles that apply to our finances apply to other areas of our lives. The above statement that his organization posted today is helpful in the area of weight loss and living healthy.
It's okay to start as many times as we need to.
Don't compare our self to others.
Create goals. Focus on them and get to work.
We can do it!

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/24/2020 (13:42)



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6/20/20 12:41 P

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1CRAZYDOG posted this on my page 6 days ago:
Forgive those who may have hurt you. Let go of judgment, criticism and finger pointing. Release the anger. Mimi Gabriel.

This is so important in this time where bullying has now become officially acceptable.
Political correctness is now showing its face, exposing what most of us knew from the beginning. It has always been about bullying and shaming others who think for themselves.




Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/20/2020 (13:00)



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6/20/20 1:09 A

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More time with Tech Support today about a problem with Windows. The computer worked after that. Then tonight it said Failure to update windows so reverting back. Took more than an hour to make the change. Computer has been slow today.

Feeling discouraged. World is getting uglier. My mind doesn't want to shut down when I go to bed. I pray. I finally got back up tonight after 2.5 hours. I did the same thing yesterday. Only being in the bed 3 hours a night is not healthy. I can't change the world. Why can't I let it go? I like to stay informed. I am limiting time spent online. I'm sick about what is happening.

None of this is helping me. Someday we may not have the choice but for now I must keep it from spilling into my personal space. I must make healthier choices.

Reminder to self:
1. Intermittent fasting. Only water, black coffee, or tea without additives outside of the eating window.
2. Stay within calorie range. Aim for 1200.
3. Exercise.
4. Get 8 hours of sleep.
5. Stay centered. Quiet time. Prayer. Verses to remember throughout the day. Rejoice and praise. Sing.
Separate my part from God's part. Run my own life. Let God take care of the rest of the world. He never intended me to carry that kind of load.


Stay positive and motivated.










Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/20/2020 (01:27)



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6/19/20 3:27 A

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Spent hours with the tech support people yesterday because of another hack. This is so frustrating.

Stuck close to intermittent fasting yesterday. Had lunch and supper. Over on calories again. Someone brought pizza for supper. Always puts me over. I have to do one-meal-a-day if I am having pizza. Too many calories, too many carbs.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/9/2020 (10:21)



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6/18/20 11:57 A

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Was yesterday successful?
Did I eat less? Yes. Did I stay within my calorie range? No.
Did I have added sugar or sugary foods? Yes but less than before.
Did I exercise? Yes
Did I get adequate sleep? Yes.

Down 3 pounds from what I weighed yesterday morning.
Swelling down in my legs.
Feel lighter and clothes loose.

From my reading this morning:
2 Corinthians 3:18
So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.

Goals for today
Be a God-light today, reflecting God to a very dark world.
Pray to be more and more like Him.
Eat within calorie range.
Avoid sugar.
Exercise.

Off to a good start.
Quiet time with the Lord.
Ran the vacuum sweeper.
Tried a new recipe.



There is sunshine in my soul today,
More glorious and bright
Than glows in any earthly sky,
For Jesus is my light.

O there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine,
While the peaceful, happy moments roll;
When Jesus shows His smiling face
There is sunshine in my soul.

There is music in my soul today,
A carol to my King;
And Jesus, listening, can hear
The song I cannot sing.

There is springtime in my soul today,
For when the Lord is near
The dove of peace sings in my heart,
The flowers of grace appear.

There is gladness in my soul today,
And hope, and praise, and love,
For blessings which He gives me now,
For joys laid up above.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvgHFJRlU1s




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6/17/20 10:15 A

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Note: I created a blog from today's journal entry. Maybe it will encourage others who are overwhelmed by the ugliness in the world today and help them take a stand to live their best life through it all.


This is posted on my Spark page. Usually it makes me smile because this is MY journey and I am happy with what I am doing.
It gave me pause when I saw it this morning, and made me feel a little sad. The choices I have made recently do not make me happy.

When I follow my plan I am strong. When I am strong, I am happy.
When I embrace off-plan behavior day after day, I leave my strong place. That makes me unhappy.

Being off-plan does not make me feel good. Gaining weight does not make me feel good. Feeling bloaty from overeating does not make me feel good. Getting inadequate sleep does not make me feel good. Weight re-gain affects mobility.

Thinking "this little bit of off-plan behavior doesn't matter" leads to more off-plan behavior. My mind says giving in to the moment is no big deal because I can always get right back on track. It's not an all-or-nothing journey. Soon the off-plan behavior has become the norm. Still no big deal because I can get back on track anytime...so my brain says.

Well, here is a message to Brain:
Right now is that back-on-track moment. I am worth more than this. I can't control the ugliness in the world right now, but I can control my reaction. Going off-plan does not make the world a better place, especially MY world.

I am stronger than this. I deserve better than this.

It only takes a couple of days on-plan to move back into that strong place.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/17/2020 (18:57)



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6/11/20 10:16 A

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Bright sunny morning. Sunshine in my soul.






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6/10/20 3:33 P

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Storms predicted for today with possible hail or tornadoes from noon-9PM for this section of the country. I've watched the wind in the trees all day. It's humid outside. Neighbor's grandkids are in their pool.

Sis is sleeping off and on, fatigued. I asked if she would go to the doctor. No, she will wait till her scheduled appointment. I think it's next week.

It's been hard to handle everything that's going on. Last night God brought this verse to my attention. Exodus 14:14 It resonates with truth and soothes my spirit.


This morning during my quiet time, this verse came to my attention. Isaiah 12:2

* * * * *

Weight was down 3 pounds this morning. I had two meals yesterday, around 1000 calories.
So far today I've had one meal. We will see how the day goes.
Not snacking. No sugary foods.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/10/2020 (15:41)



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6/9/20 5:38 P

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I've had lunch and dinner. I felt like I blew it. Just shows we can't rely on feelings. My calories are on the low side, only 666 calories for the day.

My stomach is still tore up...which means I am not in a place of peace and strength yet. I will get there. I always do. :)
Some stress makes me want to eat. Health crisis of those dearest to me pushes me into gut issues and lack of appetite.
It's always the things that I can do nothing about that are the hardest. I want to fix things. Maybe that is part of the lesson God is teaching me. I've had to learn to break things down into "my part" and "God's part." I even do that in good times. I used to worry about his part. Of course, I didn't see that clearly then like I do now. I can trust God to do His part. He doesn't always see it like I do. He says His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. He has a different sense of timing than we do. I want it resolved now. That's not how He works.
I have learned to take things to Him and wait. Don't tell Him what to do because He has options we don't even know about.


During the night as I prayed, I felt God's arms cradling me and fell into a blessed sleep. He holds us in His arms. He is closer than we realize.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/10/2020 (01:26)



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6/9/20 10:24 A

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From my reading this morning:

Hebrew 12:26-28
When God spoke from Mount Sinai his voice shook the earth, but now he makes another promise: “Once again I will shake not only the earth but the heavens also.” This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain.
Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a devouring fire.

Hebrew 13:5-6
Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said,
“I will never fail you.
I will never abandon you.”
So we can say with confidence,
“The LORD is my helper,
so I will have no fear.
What can mere people do to me?”

I love this reminder that God's kingdom is unshakeable.

I watched the video this week of the earthquake that moved a section of Norway with 8 houses on it, slowly slide and move off into the sea with all the houses. No one was injured. One dog was on the land that slid and he swam ashore. How horrible to have your little community swept away along with your house just like that. Did they know it was coming? Did they have time to remove valued possessions? Is that why no people were there when it moved? The video didn't give us a lot of details. I may google that later...or not.

Lately there has been enough horrifying things happening in our part of the world that threatens my inner peace. People are unkind and bent on making trouble. There is a constant barrage of unkind words exchanged in this country. People are destroying this country that I love. There is violence and promise of more violence. There is a lot of unnecessary drama.

On top of all the chaos in the world, Sis has not been well since Sunday evening.
I have been through this so many times over the years with my grandmother, then my mom, and later my dad. I went through times of struggle and growth in faith, praying, second-guessing myself over their care, wondering what else I should do. Uncertainty makes it hard. It is a heavy weight.
"This, too, shall pass," and it did. I miss them dreadfully. Grief still arrives like an unexpected wave when least expected. There are more hours filled with sunshine as I cherish the memories of our life together. I look forward to being with them again.

Now Sis and I are the older generation. We know we will spend eternity with the Lord so that is a wonderful confidence we have.
Illness brings uncertainty about what to do. Her lungs are compromised from the kind of work she did for years. She is prone to pneumonia. In the last few years, she has been in an ongoing struggle with kidney stones. The last time she was so full of stones that her kidney was shutting down. She has had multiple procedures, and she follows up with a kidney doctor. Her last visit with him was online during the pandemic.

Today I will remember this:
For God has said,
“I will never fail you.
I will never abandon you.”
So we can say with confidence,
“The LORD is my helper,
so I will have no fear."


* * * * *

My weight has been hovering in the same area this month. Up and down. Calories have been ridiculous most days. I log everything and have a personal record but won't be sharing the calories today.

June 1 - up 2.8 pounds
June 2 - down 3.2
June 3 - down 0.8
June 4 - up 1.2
June 5 - up 0.2
June 6 - down 1.6
June 7 - up 3.2
June 8 - down 2
June 9 - up 0.4

I am up 0.2 for the month.

I did good yesterday, no sweets.
Could have done better on calories 1869. Spark puts my limit at 2200, but that is too high, so I keep it at 1200-1500.
Not so good on carbs: 238, yikes! Spark has my carb range as 150-273, so I am good with Spark. I prefer to come in under 100.

Monday breakfast: 1 multigrain toast and black coffee
Lunch: Grapes, homemade macaroni and chicken salad. I made chicken salad (canned chicken mixed with mayo) and added it to leftover plain macaroni.
Dinner: 2 sloppy joes
Snack: popcorn, black coffee

Had extra exercise with all the cleaning I did in the morning.
* * * * *

It's a new day. The sun is shining. I've showered, washed my hair, and dressed. Morning meds and drinking water. Had quiet time with the Lord, reading His word, praying, meditating. Visiting Spark and drinking black coffee.

Sis said she feels a little better this morning. She is still having shortness of breath. Feels like someone has punched her in the midsection. She been so fatigued lately. She slept more yesterday and through the night.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/9/2020 (16:33)



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6/8/20 8:50 A

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Storing this info here so I can find it. How to add team bonus points.

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=6679090





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6/8/20 7:20 A

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I wish you peace and success today - and everyday. Thank you for expressing your thoughts so beautifully. I agree. It's a sad and worrisome time.

I'm so sorry the crowd mentality has hurt you in the past and caused you to change your behavior. I understand completely. It may not matter - but know you are not alone in your feelings. I empathize with you.

But - you have a great attitude. You know what to do. On to the best today! All my best to you. Deb

Deb
Changing my life 1 step at a time.


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6/8/20 7:00 A

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It's early Monday morning. The birds have been into their pre-dawn song since I awoke. The sun is now starting to make a rosy glow on the eastern horizon, bits of orange appearing through the dark canopy of leaves outside my window.

When I was in the kitchen filling my water glass this morning, my mind jumped to the available options of something to eat. I am not usually hungry in the morning. Once the door to indiscriminate eating has been opened, these thoughts can occur anytime during the 24 hours.
Gherlin works by reminding us to eat at our usual eating times by signaling hunger. When I have been on track for a couple days, it doesn't remind me to eat until afternoon. Now that I've eaten willy-nilly for a few days, it's confused and sending out signals at odd times.

My heart is still heavy. I don't want the concerns of yesterday to spill over into this day. I must let go of the things that are outside of my control.














Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/8/2020 (07:21)



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6/7/20 9:33 P

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My heart is very heavy. Why are people mean while they claim to be doing good? Where did free choice to make our own decisions go? Why are so many being manipulated and in turn, trying to manipulate others? There is very little respect or kindness nowadays. They call others by names that don't make logical sense. The people who urge tolerance and inclusion are some of the most intolerant and exclusive people I have ever met. They preach tolerance and kindness, but only if you are on "their side" and agree with them. If you choose to live in peace and be nonconfrontational, they condemn you for your choice. They want to attack any who are not in "their group." Yes, they are making a difference but not what they think. They are being used. "There is none so blind as those who will not see." They are at a different level of common sense and reason. Some of us have lived long enough to know this does not end well.

There are some people who have given themselves over to evil, to cause chaos and destruction. They don't care who they hurt. People's lives are being destroyed.The world has become a very harsh place.

Today it just feels a little too much. There is too much going on that I won't share here. I need to limit my time on unsocial media. What once was fun now causes pain.



When the violent protests happened in the 1960-70s, my young mind came to the awareness that it is easy to destroy something in a heartbeat. It takes more effort and time and goodness to create something. Oh the joy and satisfaction of being productive and creative and seeing something we have made.
And oh the heartbreaking pain to see others carelessly destroy what has been created.

So my days are very up and down. I think I have moved on, and then here comes another wave. It's hard to care about my health enough to stay on track. During the tough times we need to be even more focused on being healthy so we can handle the difficulties.

* * * * * *

I received an email here on Spark to join a group commited to losing 25 pounds. I like those kinds of challenges. It makes me sad to know I can't do that. I wrote about this in another entry here. If only everyone would wish every single team member susccess. When I succeed, it does not negate your success. Some people (even on Spark) can be unkind to people who succeed. Jealousy? Perhaps.
As I said in the earlier post, I was in a team competition here and frequently came in with the best numbers all week. I worked very hard. I stayed the course. Naive of me to think my whole team would be happy. Instead someone suggested that I should step back and let others win (each week). Wow. I was shocked. Unfortunately I took it to heart, went quiet on the team, backed down and never got the momentum back like that again. I lost those good habits. WHY would I let someone else determine my outcome? Stepping back from the team did not mean I had to give up my healthy lifestyle that I was enjoying.

Since then, I've been saddened many times over the years to usually be left behind while others went on to maintenance. Even with the sadness my yo-yo behavior causes me, I would NEVER wish anyone else to be anything but successful. I want us all to win. No one left behind!
* * * * * *

A health coach asked us to post a question for her. She would pick five questions to answer on the public forum. Someone asked about saggy skin when the coach had lost her weight, and she answered that. I asked about being consistent because I struggle with that. I can have a great three weeks, then destroy it all in a less than a week off plan. That's why I am still at the same place this year that I've been since December. Lose, regain. Really.
When I asked the question, I already knew the answer lies in having a sustainable plan (keep it simple) and stay focused. Apathy is the elephant in the room. How can I stay motivated and focused for weeks, then drift into apathy?
Here are my answers. Habit helps me stay the course. Habits keeps me from even considering other behavior. So what is happening that lets my mind deviate from habit? If we let our mind think there are other options (or that this one meal or one day isn't going to really matter), that is the beginning.
We all have that 2 second window when we can say no before giving in to bad behavior. We give in because we WANT to indulge.
When our habits are firmly in place, they govern our behavior and we don't have to say NO because this doesn't even come up as a choice.
Now this not to be confused with all-or-nothing thinking. The answer to that is to pick yourself right back up, forget any "errors", and on track again. Don't try to compensate. Just move on.
So what is happening that makes me question if I can do something I haven't even thought of doing in months?
Where does apathy come from? Within ourselves. We grow tired of the long grind (which is why it is so important to keep it simple and sustainable). Things in our lives can overwhelm us and sap the energy we need to live healthy. We may be physically tired and at a low point.
Motivation is a fickle fellow. We have to realize what is happening and refuel the motivation by doing what works for us. I've written about that recently, and may have posted it in a blog, too. We have to find success within ourselves.

Eating healthy makes me FEEL good. Staying under the top of my calorie limit makes me feel virtuous. Moving in a healthy direction makes me feel like I can handle anything in life.
Losing weight makes me feel good. Looser clothing makes me feel good. Better mobility makes me feel wonderful. Even weighing on the scale becomes a moment of pleasure and reward when you have reasonable expectations. The scale is a tool for our use.

So why would I choose to indulge, go over on calories, forsake my feel-good eating plan?

Today I went back on the web site and deleted my question to the coach. I tend to do that, second guessing myself, feeling vulnerable. She had not answered my question so maybe mine was not one of the five she chose to answer. I will never know because I deleted it.



And now, here's a dose of encouragement that I need tonight:









Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/9/2020 (16:54)



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6/6/20 11:32 A

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The kids are coming by in a little bit to help with the outside work. We are nervous about him cleaning the gutters. We had gutter guards installed when we replaced the siding on the house, but the "helicopters" from the Maple trees get stuck in the grating. After it sits there for awhile beaten by the weather and wind, the lighter part dries up and breaks off, letting the seed part drop into the gutter. We probably need to replace the guards with something finer that won't let the helicopters get stuck there. Another expense, sigh.

RJ made sloppy joes for lunch. She tried a new recipe I saw online for a creamy corn salad. It was awful. We discovered that we do not like fresh cilantro. It permeates the whole dish.




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6/5/20 9:42 P

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I haven't watched a steady stream of news snippets today. I've stayed off unsocial media most of the day. I am in a much better place than I was earlier. My real world is a kinder place.


I've logged everything on Spark. It's been a smashingly successful day. Kept the calories down.
Now it will be off to bed soon. I am very tired.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/5/2020 (21:59)



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Warning: This is more political than I usually post. I don't like political posts on Spark. That's not what this community is about. However, the things that are unfolding this week are affecting all of us. It is affecting our efforts to lose weight and live healthy. I will probably come back and delete this later. For now, I am writing it because it explains the inner turmoil that is making it so difficult to stick with my plan this week. I feel so crushed in my spirit. While this is not a private journal, few people wander over here, so I use it to work through the things that are affecting my journey to better health.

It has been a difficult week. The unrest has spilled over into our quiet community. It is ripping communities apart. People have become vocal in stating that if you don't agree with them on political issues, then YOU are the enemy.
If you don't want to be part of a mob that can turn violent in a heartbeat, then you are labeled racist. They are bullies, trying to cause as much pain and disruption as possible.

Google says that "Politically Incorrect was an American late-night, half-hour political talk show hosted by Bill Maher that aired from 1993 to 2002. It premiered on Comedy Central in 1993, before moving to ABC in January 1997. ... The show first originated from New York City, but soon moved to Los Angeles."
Isn't that interesting that it started on a comedy channel? However, it's really not funny. It made me uneasy.

"Political correctness" tries to control what everyone else thinks and says, and you will be publicly shamed into silence if you don't. Have you ever wondered how they became the arbitrators of what is correct?

The news media and others were stunned at the outcome of the last presidential election. They live in their "politically correct" bubble, seeing the world through their rose-colored glasses, and couldn't comprehend that there were actually many people who didn't agree with them.

They are the vocal ones. Most of my life it was considered dishonorable for a news personality to state their opinion. It was a badge of honor to factually report the news. Then we started having commentators interpreting the news after every State of the Union speech or other political happening, like we didn't hear and see the same thing they just televised.

The politically correct police now control most of the media and what is taught in schools. They proclaim tolerance while acting out intolerance. If you don't agree with them, they borrow a page from Saul Alinsky's book and resort to name-calling (racist, fascist, deplorable) or telling women they aren't women if they don't vote for women candidates. What kind of logic is that? People are struggling to know the difference between opinion and fact. If you say anything long enough, some will believe it. Many of the younger generation believe that if it's reported in the news, it must be true.

The people who are cleverly indoctrinating the young are re-writing history to serve their purposes.
There are some advantages to living as long as I have. We have seen history unfold. We can detect a false and manipulative narrative a little easier than the young.

On a side note, do you know how bizarre that is to tell people who fought Hitler in WWII that they are fascists? What a slap in the face.

Even the word has changed meaning. Look up fascism in a dictionary published before 2016 and compare it to a current dictionary. They have changed the meaning of the word. People who did not live through WWII or with people who lived then, do not notice the sneaky change.

Dictionaries change their definitions to include popular usage. The experts at the dictionary that decide to include these changes are not wrong. They have done this for many years. Look at words like cool (which means more than something cold) or neat (which means cool, not just tidy or precise or straight).
Each generation chooses words they use differently in popular culture. This has been going on forever.
Some of my old time favorites that I like to throw out there to give people pause are: the cat's pajamas, the cat's meow, the bee's knees. No, that was not MY generation. We came up with groovy, and don't lose your cool, and hip. Talk about a different meaning for hip. We are no longer talking about a body joint.


Two sayings come to mind a lot these days:

"There are none so blind as they who will not see."

"A man convinced against his will,
is of the same opinion still."

Your bullying tactics may shame people into silence, but you've accomplished nothing constructive. You have closed the door to respect and honest discussion.

This was posted on FB by an acquaintance on June 4, 2020. "I left social media for a while but after coming back on tonight I have realized it is nothing I want to be a part of. The media has divided this country and so many are just gullible. For 10 weeks we were locked up because of a virus. Now people are allowed to march by the thousands with no problems. If people want to believe everything the media tells them then that's on them. Social media is an absolute cancer."

One of his friends posted this response, "I’ve tried to have decent, intelligent conversations regarding the virus or the riots and either get freaked on or ignored. Social media was a great idea, but ended up amplifying the worst qualities in most people."

Perhaps we should call it unsocial media?







So with all this turmoil, am I staying the course with the goals I set for June? I am trying. I really am.

1. Intermittent Fasting. It's a mixed bag. Some success. There are more times that I have not stuck with it. However, it's a flexible plan. The eating window can suit my needs. I personally choose to log calories. So staying within that range, I can have lunch and dinner. It may be lunch and a snack.
IF is not OMAD. I do best on one-meal-a-day. Sometimes I don't have the energy and stamina and motivation to stick with that. I AM motivated to lose weight. I never lose that desire. There are too many times I eat more than one meal for no easily explainable reason. I may be done for the day, then someone else eats in front of me. My brain thinks that a snack won't hurt since I still have calories. Am I hungry? Probably not.
The worst is when I have made something to eat and think I am done for the day. Then someone makes a family meal and tells us it's ready. Ummm.... I already ate? I am done for the day? I am not hungry?
Nowadays, I even ask if anyone is planning to make lunch or dinner before I make my own meal. That doesn't always work.
The problem is me. Once I make up my mind, I stay the course more often than not. If I am changing course frequently and caving to unplanned eating opportunities, the lack of commitment is in my head.
I am flexible. I am not going to belabor this too much as long as I continue to lose weight and inches. When the scale shows a yo-yo trend with no overall progress, then it's time to become a little less flexible.
I am at that point. At the beginning of December, I only had 12 pounds to reach the next HUGE milestone. It's a really big one. A century marker. I made a fun count-down in my vision book in December. I was going to crush that goal.
Here we are in June, and I now have 24 pounds to go to reach that same goal. This is not progress.
Regardless of what is going on in the world at large or in my little world, I have to get laser focused on this goal and just do it. I cannot let everything distract me.
Can I resurrect the joy and excitement I felt over the 12 pound countdown in December? Can I get excited about a 24 pound countdown to stay focused? Yes, I can.

2. Stay under 1400 calories. I CAN do this. I already know I can because I have done that many times. I will turn that into I WILL do this...every day. Every single day. Can I commit to that for the next 25 days until the end of June (and beyond)? Yes. I can do it today. And tomorrow. And the next week. Yes, I will.

3. No added sugar. This has nothing to do with staying within 1400 calories because of course, I can eat sugary foods and still stay within the range. This has to do with a choice not to eat added sugar. It makes my joints hurt. It causes liver problems. I need to do this for my health. That doesn't mean I will never eat a sweet treat again. It should not be an every day option.
I am so strong in this area for weeks. As soon as I open that door, it then makes it an option all the time. I want to move away from that kind of thinking.

4. Adequate healthy sleep. I am doing better but still have a ways to go to make this a consistent habit...especially when the craziness in the world won't let my brain shut down when I am in bed.
Corrie ten Boom said, “Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

I take care of my mental health. My quiet time gives me strength. I pray and must leave the rest to God. I cannot do his part. It is too heavy and I am not equipped to handle it.
It is good to stay informed of world events. But I do not need to know all the ignorant or stupid things that I have no control over. I don't need to know who said what to who on social media. I can skip your posts on social media without saying one word of dissension or causing division. What Hollywood does and says has nothing to do with reality. What sports stars say and do is not my world. Burning and destroying our area affects me. Worrying about it does not change anything. At some point, I have to turn it off. I can say and do what I can, and shine my light as brightly and kindly as I can. I can continue to be nice to others, even when I don't agree.
I can limit my time on the computer. I can read uplifting things in the evening. As Philippians 4:8 in the Bible tells us, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."
I can quiet my heart and thoughts before bed time so that I can sleep well.

I can also be consistent in going to bed around the same time.

5. Exercise. When I was younger and the gym was still open, I used to love to go the gym after supper. There was something so soothing to end my workout with a long, quiet, even meditative time on the treadmill that faced the window. I could watch the cars move past in the dark night. I could see the gas station on the corner, and McDonalds. I could see the cars going in and out of the Kroger parking lot across the street. I've always liked city lights against a dark sky.
Living in the country I don't see that anymore. I enjoyed the evenings at the gym, ending the evening with an hour walk on the treadmill, watching the lights against the dark sky. Sometimes rainy. Sometimes snowy. Always beautiful.

The gym is gone. I am decades older now and don't move so well. I break up my exercise throughout the day. I may do some back kicks or side kicks while I wait for the coffee to warm in the microwave. I can use the Rangemaster pulley system to exercise my shoulder, doing one set of 12 at a time. I can walk in smaller segments, and get my 20 minutes in each day. I can use the weights to do arm curls while at the desk. None of it constitutes a strenuous cardio exercise because I have to do it at my speed. It still counts as movement, deliberate and controlled.

I am making progress toward my 5 goals.
* * * * *

Yesterday afternoon Sis went with me to run errands. Our state is still not open. Everything I did was from the car at drive-up windows, or when I called ahead, the person came out to the car (with their mask on) and picked up what I was dropping off. I have not been away from the house since March 2.

I need help getting my leg into the car. Yesterday I used the blue leg-lifter and managed to get my leg in the car without aid. I was so proud of myself.
I have done that before, getting in the car with the leg-lifter at one stop. Then bursting into tears at the next place I stopped when I didn't have the strength to lift my leg so Sis had to get out and help push my foot into the car. It makes me feel so helpless. I tell myself it will get easier as I lose weight. Maybe, maybe not, but it gives me hope. One more reason to stay the course. I have to do what I can for myself.
I am driving now whenever I go out. I started doing that last year. Someday I will be able to go all by myself (when I conquer lifting my leg into the car). Freedom! Independence. To go to town when I want. To go to the library by myself. To do the grocery shopping. To go to church.
I have a ways to go. I am working on it.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/7/2020 (02:57)



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6/2/20 8:30 A

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I did not get enough sleep Sunday night. I stayed up too late and didn't get to sleep in. Every time I tried to nap, someone woke me. By late afternoon, I had a scary pain in the top of my head. I tried to lay down and got woke up again.
RJ had nachos for supper. They were surprisingly light. The pain in my head let up some after I ate. After I tidied the kitchen and brushed my teeth, I went to bed at 7:30PM. Other making a couple of trips to the bathroom, I stayed in bed until 5:30 this morning. Ten hours!
I experienced the pain on and off during the night. Scary. Right away I think of stroke, especially with the rapid weight gain last week. Blood pressure this morning is 134/77, 59. Very good for me. Mine runs a little high.I haven't even taken my blood pressure meds yet this morning, so that is an exceptionally good reading.

Today is June 2. How am I doing with my goals?
1.Intermittent fasting. While I did not snack, I ate three meals. I would not call it a good IF day. Still, it was progress over last week. I will continue in this direction and be more conscious of this goal today.
2. Stay under 1400 calories. No, that did not happen. I did not plan on the nachos last night. I did not check if I had calories left. Not making excuses, but the pain in my head let up when I ate. Again, I will be more conscious of this goal today.
3. No added sugar. Another yech on that one. I will succeed at this today.
4. Adequate healthy sleep. Naps were unsuccessful. Ten hours of the wonderful healthy stuff last night. Success!
5. Exercise. Ok.
I did nothing toward the other 4 goals listed below for the month.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/2/2020 (08:32)



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5/31/20 3:06 P

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What is there about a new month that encourages hope? A fresh page with no smudges on it. That's why we put start days for our plans on New Years, or a new month or a new week. There is nothing magical about June 1 that does not exist on May 31.

The fresh page analogy encourages all-or-nothing thinking. Hopefully we left that behind a long time ago. That doesn't work for most of us.
We will fall down and get back up many times in a month. We are not perfect. It gets easier over time to stay the course...but as this last week has shown me, it's still highly likely that I will make bad choices at time.
The big key is getting back up and moving on. I didn't intend to let it go for this many days. Every night I went to bed with a plan. Every morning I woke up with determination. I was not lacking motivation.
There comes a time when I have to take back the permission to make bad decisions. What makes them "good" or "bad"? Good decisions moves me toward my well-thought out goals. Bad decisions may feel good short term but they take me back where I don't want to ultimately go.
* * * * *

Goals for June

1. Intermittent Fasting
2. Stay under 1400 calories.
3. No added sugar
4. Adequate healthy sleep.
5. Exercise.

Other goals:
6. Declutter. Sell online.
7. Salad book
8. Update vision book.
9. Genealogy

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/31/2020 (15:53)



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5/31/20 2:24 P

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Last week was a big dark hole. Tues, Wed, Thurs, and Sat were over on calories. Saturday was the worst. Today started out just as bad but I put the brakes on. It is 2 in the afternoon and I have only a handful of calories left. Can I switch into intermittent fasting mode?
What is happening? I opened a door to the past. Not so easy to close. Not sleeping. Overeating. I am not in a good place.

May 8 through May 23 was good. Doing intermittent fasting. Lost 19+ pounds.

In one week I have gained 11.4 pounds. It goes on much faster than it comes off.

I feel out of control when I act like this. Saying I can't help myself is foolish. I am not helpless or hopeless. We all have a 2-second window before we decide on a good or bad choice. I knowingly and consciously gave myself permission to make bad decisions. I could have stopped it every time. I am responsible for my behavior.

Bad things are happening in the world that I can do little about. I can pray, and I can shine my light as brightly as possible.
I do not have to internalize and let bad things happen in my personal life. While I can't control everything in my personal life, there are many things that are under my control. I cannot blame my personal chaos on the larger chaos that is in the world. Just like we need strong leaders in the world at large, I need to be a better leader of the one person I can control.

I won't be too hard on myself because I did have a good month overall. I made great progress.
And now it's up to me to get right back on track again.



I will lose 11.4 pounds to get back where I was one week ago, Sun, May 24.
I will lose 9.4 pounds to get back where I was on Jan 1, 2020.
I will lose 25 pounds to reach the next BIG goal.
I will lose 47 pounds to reach my Spark starting weight (April 6, 2006).
This is not the end of the story.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/31/2020 (15:54)



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5/31/20 10:46 A

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Saw this posted in the 1950s group on FB this morning:

1958 Home ec sewing students....everyone sewed their own garment and then we modeled them at the spring style show and tea for our moms... Did other schools do this too...?
* * * * *

That brought back memories. We did this. I hated it because I was bigger than most of my classmates. I would love to be that size now!
I wrote the script describing each person's outfit in glowing words. The script was read while the person paraded around between the tables in the school cafetorium where our fashion show was held.
I never went to the fashion show. I hated it because I was bigger than most of my classmates. I would love to be that size now!

Shades of plum and cranberry (with pink) were all the rage then. I sewed a plum-colored basic dress, fitted bodice and straight skirt, and made a matching belt with fancy metal clasp. Looking back, that severe style would not be forgiving of extra pounds but I looked good in it so that makes me think I probably wasn't as big as I thought I was.
I later wore it when some of our church youth celebrated graduation at an upscale restaurant in a historical house (by reservation only).

I an glad I am tall but that's genetics so I can't take credit for that.

I look like an big in the picture with my friend Betty (below), taken around 1995. I worked with her at the hospital.


Betty and me a few year later, 2012. We had both put on a few pounds. Major changes in my life in those years between the two pictures.


I'm guessing the next two pictures are probably from the late 1980s.

I am on the right end of both of these pictures. I don't look so tall when sitting. My height is in my long legs.

.One of my best friends (that passed away last year) is sitting next to me in the bottom picture.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/5/2020 (22:30)



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5/29/20 3:16 P

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It's been a mixed bag lately. Mornings are good. Lunch is good.
Then a switch in my brain turns on (or off) and the child comes out. I don't go to bed when I should. Then the nighttime munchie monster and I have a party. It's not crazy like a binge. It's sugary or salty snacking. It's too many calories for the day.


I can gain weight at the drop of a hat. I can easily gain a couple pounds a day when I eat over the top of my calorie range (1200-1500). In fact even 1400 puts me in danger of gaining, so that's why I try to stay below 1200. I should minimize my calorie window but I hate seeing that big red circle on my START page every time I go over my range. 1200-1500 is a reasonable range for most older, less active people. It is amazing how few calories this old body really needs to sustain life. I am more comfortable in the 900-1200 range, and can get by easily in the 600-800 range but I've never done that more than a couple days at a time so i don't know how that would be if it were routine.
I read the book The Fast 800, written by a medical doctor from England. He makes sense. I was encouraging 800 calories for a fast loss, then adjusting after we achieve that. There has been so much wrong "science" out there about how many calories a body really needs. They are now proving that it is incorrect, based on tradition instead of science (just like the marketing claim that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.)

So what do I need to do to stop this avalanche that is catapulting me back where I really don't want to go?
1. Stay under 1200 calories.
2. Practice intermittent fasting to stop the snacking.
3. No added sugar.
4. Go to bed by midnight (and stay there till morning).

I think this one is engraved on my mind now. It should be flashing like a neon sign.

NO SUGAR
No Sugar
no sugar
no...sigh.

I am not even fond of the sweets I eat. They are easy and portable and available.
I should make a cup of coffee or tea.
I should refill the water glass when it runs out
I should get off the computer and stretch and move around.
I should ignore the inner child and listen to my head. I should say no to anything that doesn't line up with what I am trying to achieve.
I should go to bed when it's late and avoid all of this nonsense.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/29/2020 (15:45)



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5/28/20 4:59 P

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I hope you got a good sleep. I love cabbage - and all the brassicas - but they can produce a lot of gas sometimes.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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I spent the morning working on pictures. Scanned, cropped, and loaded 40+ pics on the website. Getting some nice comments. Memories.

Found a local place that might be able to make DVDs of the family movies from the 1960s. I would feel bad if anything happened to them. A slice of my childhood.

RJ made a crockpot soup of potatoes, carrots, cabbage, celery, onions, polish sausage and V8 juice. Soooo good. It took awhile for the potatoes to get soft enough to eat, so she made cheeseburgers for lunch. We had the soup for dinner.

Calories today come to 1238, near the bottom of my calorie range. So WHY does my stomach feel like it's going to explode? Has to be the cabbage. Oh, my. I do not like this feeling. I am ready for a nap. It's almost 7 PM so maybe I'll stay there for the night. Haha.

So proud that I went to bed before 10 PM last night.I am trying to break my bad sleep habits.

I was so tired but my brain would not turn off. I was reliving problem situations at work. That was years ago. Done and past. Why am I wasting any precious minutes even thinking about that?
I posted a few entries below about letting troubling thoughts go. Visualize a balloon being released and floating away. It didn't work last night.
So I got back up again. Was in a funky mood. Tired and crabby and feeling down. Cried a little. I made an egg salad sandwich. Then had a piece of candy. Then a Hershey's chocolate bar and coffee.
So my calories for Memorial Day went from 622 up to 1430. Still within the calorie range but higher than I like. Not a good idea to load the calories that late in the day.
My body did not make me pay for it. My weight was the same this morning as it was yesterday morning.

I don't feel like adulting any more tonight. Good night, dear friends.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/26/2020 (19:45)



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5/25/20 11:45 A

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The scale is a righteous judge. I consumed 2096 calories yesterday. The scale is up 2 pounds today.

We shared our lunch with a shut-in couple. Crock pot chicken. Potatoes. Carrots. Sis included the last of the angel food cake for them, too.
I did not have ANY of the cake since they brought it home the day before. Woohoo! Doing well avoiding sweets most of the time.

For dinner, we had guests. Pork chops, scalloped potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower.

Sis made rhubarb custard pie. She brought a piece to me when I was working on the computer. She knows it is a favorite and made it especially for me.

We do not normally eat like this. We do not have two complete meals. We did not know we were having guests until after lunch.

Did I have to eat each time? No. I thought lunch would be my OMAD meal so I didn't skimp on the calories.

No regrets. It's only one day. Back on track this morning.

I usually am not hungry in the morning. This morning I want to eat. Did all that food yesterday reset my body? So I'm sitting here with my glass of water and a cup of coffee, getting my motivation at Spark. On a scale of 1 to 10, the desire to eat is probably a 3.

I stayed up too late last night. Went to bed after 3AM. Saturday night I went to bed around 8:30 PM and slept until 8 AM. I've done that a few times lately. It's a sleep rollercoaster. Stay up too late one night, then sleep 10 to 12 hours the next night.
I was doing so well going to bed around 9 PM for awhile. It surprised me that I was able to stay in bed 8 hours. I've slept in 2 - 4 hour segments for years because of pain and nightsweats. Now I just throw the cover off when I get too hot, and go back to sleep...until I get chilled, and put the blanket back over me.
I wake after 8 hours or so, lay there praying and thinking, and drowse off and on for awhile. This morning while I was waking I talked to the bird and he answered me until someone had enough and covered him. I always get my buddies and me in trouble. It's MY house.

I've been able to do more for myself as I lose weight. Months ago I started doing my bath without any help. Powdered and creamed and dressed.
It's still hard to get my arms up to wash my hair because of bad shoulders...but I am doing it now.
Still need help getting the leg wraps on. Washed, creamed, tubigrips, ace wraps. They control the swelling in my legs and feet during the hours I am awake.
I like the snugly soft tubigrips, like getting a hug, all cozy and warm. I buy them in a roll so I can cut them the length I need since I am tall. I cut them long enough to fold into double thickness (as in the second picture below). Then wrap the leg with an ace wrap to add another layer of snugness to control the swelling as the day goes on. This is how the Wound Care Center taught me.


They remind me of the knit leggings worn over blue jeans in the 1980s.

Not as colorful or pretty as the leggings, and more snug. They keep me warm when it's cold, too. They don't seem to be too warm in the summer either.
Last week I started taking the leg wraps off by myself at night. What a big girl I am getting to be!

I am wearing a brand new set of tubigrips today. Strutting my stuff. Just like when I get a pretty new pair of underpants. No one else knows but it makes me feel good all day. I always have liked pretty underwear.
Underwear and shoes were my big fashion picks way back in the 1970s when no one cared much about shoes. Now it's crazy how many shoes people have. I've gone the opposite way and have less shoes now. Comfort is key. At home I run around in my stocking feet all day.
My feet have hot spots for pain. The podiatrist wants me to wear something to cushion my feet, like clogs or diabetic slippers. (I am not diabetic.) I have a cushy rug under my desk so my feet aren't resting on the hardwood floor.
I also have neuropathy in my toes that can drive me bonkers. They tingle and burn, like when a limb goes to sleep or you hit your crazy bone. No remedy. I have to distract myself and get my mind occupied with something else.

I am not complaining about any of this. Life is good.





Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/25/2020 (19:16)



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5/24/20 10:46 A

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Daily eating and weight loss progress since no-sugar and tightening down on IF:

Fri, May 8 - down 2 pounds from Thurs AM weight. Consumed 1143 calories.
Sat, May 9 - down 2.4 pounds from Fri AM. 1027 calories.

Sun, May 10 - down 3.6 pounds from Sat AM. 1721 calories (high carb, pancakes and pizza)
Mon, May 11 - up 0.8 pounds from Sun AM. 567 calories (OMAD)
Tues, May 12 - down 1.8 pounds from Mon AM. 762 calories (One meal + apple)
Wed, May 13 - down 0.2 pounds from Tues AM. 643 calories (OMAD)
Thurs, May 14 - down 1 pound from Wed AM. 1077 calories (OMAD).
Fri, May 15 - down 0.2 pounds from Thurs AM. 810 calories (OMAD)
Sat, May 16 - down 2.8 pounds from Fri AM. 1434 calories

Sun, May 17 - down 0.8 pounds. 977 calories (OMAD)
Mon, May 18 - down 1 pound. 677 calories (OMAD)
Tues, May 19 - down 1.2 pounds. 963 calories.
Wed, May 20 - down 0.4 pounds. 1118 calories (OMAD + snack)
Thurs, May 21 - up 0.6 pounds. 1484 calories.
Fri, May 22 - down 1 pound. 1251 calories (OMAD + snack)
Sat, May 23 - down 0.6 pound. 1264 calories (OMAD + snack)

Sun, May 24 - down 1.2 pounds

Total of 18.8 pounds lost since May 7, 2020.

I am 2.4 pounds below my Jan 1, 2020 weight.
I have 12.4 pounds to lose to reach the next milestone.
I have 37.2 pounds to lose to reach my Spark starting weight
I am down 69.6 pounds from my highest weight (May 2, 2019)

Numbers speak to me. They show my progress in a measureable way.

People counsel others to not rely on the scale. One man said we should NEVER use the scale. We can tell how we are doing by how our clothes fit. If they are getting tight, we are gaining and need to cut back. If they are getting looser, we are losing weight. Makes sense.
I like seeing the numbers. I weigh every morning. I look forward to it. It can be a reward, a pat on the back.
I am not addicted to the scale. It is a tool that tells me how I'm doing.

I've been doing this long enough to realize there will be little blips up and down. It may show a disappointing gain even when we have done everything we should. That does not throw me off course. I know that if I persist, the scale will continue it's downward course. An upward blip can make me more cautious, and tighten up with eating, exercise and sleep. Make sure I am really doing everything I think I am doing. Of course, I log everything every day on Spark: nutrition, exercise, sleep and a few other things I track. I have a fairly accurate picture.

Someone who was in maintenance quite awhile, wrote a blog that she was tired of constantly worrying that every pound she gained would be the start of a regain. She wanted to know when she could relax and enjoy her life. So she did. She practiced intuitive eating, only eating when stomach-hungry.

A number of Sparkers who are in maintenance agreed. I never realized how much of a concern it is in the back of our heads that we will regain and be fat again. The statistics prove that many people don't maintain their losses long term.

But these are successful Sparkers who have kept it off for years. They are still here. Still logging when they feel they need to. Still blogging and sharing with others. Still feeling apprehensive that they will regain. It's something heavy they carry inside of them.

It pays to stay alert and be on guard...but...wow!

Diets don't work because they have a start and stop, a beginning and ending. Then what? That's where many people get in trouble. They go back to eating like they did before the diet. BECAUSE the food or quantity of food they ate on the diet is not sustainable. Their short-term habits were uncomfortable enough that they couldn't stay with them.

That's why our plans have to be simple and sustainable. Eat foods we like. Do exercise we enjoy. All I can say about sleep is to change our mindset to enjoy it. Get a comfortable mattress, pillow, bedding in a room conducive to sleeping.

The simpler our plan, the more likely we are to stick with it. No extremes. Slow and steady so our mind and body have time to adjust. Maybe it's a blessing that I have a long way to go so that it will take time.

I've certainly been learning the hard way by trial and error. I know that eating without regard to calories doesn't work for me. I don't necessarily have to count calories but I do have to restrict them. I can do that in several ways.

With OMAD (one meal a day), it is not necessary to count calories. Chances are you will not be able to overeat on calories day after day when you only eat one meal a day.
Sometimes I couldn't figure out what I wanted and nibbled through my calories. With one meal a day, at least it's not happened three times a day when I would have eaten in the past. Having a plan before I enter the kitchen really works best.

Another big helper is Intermittent Fasting. That stops me from grazing. That stops the late night snack attack monster. That stops the mindless munching.
When I do have OMAD + snack, there is a beginning and ending to the snack. It is not unlimited mindless munching, searching for the next thing to eat. It might be fruit. I am trying to avoid sugary snacks but sometimes it has been homemade cookies and coffee.
It wasn't until I completed the chart above that I realize how many times I've had OMAD + snack. After seeing it here, I know where to target.

When I've not listed OMAD on the chart, it's when I've had two meals. It is usually one regular meal and one light meal. For instance the light meal might be half a sandwich. That's another area to target. Am I having the second meal because I am truly hungry?

I think I could continue this behavior into maintenance. OMAD and IF don't tell me WHAT to eat. They tell me WHEN to eat.

OMAD is flexible. Sometimes it's a meal and a snack. Sometimes it's two smaller meals. I AIM for one meal. Even on the days when there are more than strictly one OMAD meal, my calories are where I want them to be. I am not running over the top of my calorie limit.

I feel that these two work well together. I am not setting myself up for an all-or-nothing failure.

When I do re-gain (as I did the first four months this year), it was because I was sloppy with IF. I allowed sugary snacks back in. Occasionally my meals would be over 3000 calories (especially if we had pizza and soda).
I re-gained 20.8 pounds (which I have now lost again!). It would have been even worse if I had given up ALL my healthy habits during that time.

Here I go with the numbers again. That would have been about 5 pounds a month. That's 60 pounds a year.

Even with the 20 pound regain at the beginning of this year, I am down 69.6 pounds from what I weighed May 2, 2019. Way to go, kiddo.
* * * * *

Now let's look at the numbers per month. Oh, I do love numbers.
I've been watching closely the gains and losses each month since I discovered that my regains were wiping out my losses.

2019
Jan lost 28 pounds, gained 25.4, net loss 2.6 pounds
Feb lost 17.2, gained 31.4, net gain 14.2
Mar lost 14, gained 25.6, net gain 11.6
Apr lost 16.2, gained 22.6, net gain 6.4
May lost 28, gained 16.6, net loss 11.4
Jun lost 29.2, gained 18, net loss 11.2
Jul lost 23, gained 25.8, net gain 2.8
Aug lost 31.4, gained 22.8, net loss 8.6
Sep lost 20.6, gained 15.4, net loss 5.2
Oct lost 27.8, gained 16.8, net loss 11
Nov lost 32, gained 3.6, net loss 28.4
Dec lost 24, gained 22.6, net loss 1.4

In 2019 I lost 291.4 pounds. I gained 246.6. Net loss 44.8 pounds.


2020
Jan lost 20.4, gained 27.6, net gain 7.2
Feb lost 18.6, gained 16.2, net loss 2.4
Mar lost 14, gained 26.6, net gain 12.6
Apr lost 23.4, gained 23.4, net 0
May (through 5/24/20) lost 23.2, gained 4.2, net loss 19

In 2020 I lost 99.6 pounds. I gained 98. Net loss 1.6 pounds.

My losses are good. I have to control the gains.
See how well I did that in May this year. Only 4.2 gain. There will be some up-ticks on the scale just with daily fluctuations. Keeping those gains to a minimum makes all the difference.

My daily goal is to stay below the top of the calorie range to give my body a chance to lose weight.




Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/25/2020 (12:09)



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5/22/20 9:36 A

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Daily eating and weight loss progress since no-sugar and OMAD/IF hunker-down:

Fri, May 8 - down 2 pounds from Thurs AM weight. Consumed 1143 calories.
Sat, May 9 - down 2.4 pounds from Fri AM. 1027 calories.

Sun, May 10 - down 3.6 pounds from Sat AM. 1721 calories (high carb, pancakes and pizza)
Mon, May 11 - up 0.8 pounds from Sun AM. 567 calories (OMAD)
Tues, May 12 - down 1.8 pounds from Mon AM. 762 calories (One meal + apple)
Wed, May 13 - down 0.2 pounds from Tues AM. 643 calories (OMAD)
Thurs, May 14 - down 1 pound from Wed AM. 1077 calories (OMAD).
Fri, May 15 - down 0.2 pounds from Thurs AM. 810 calories (OMAD)
Sat, May 16 - down 2.8 pounds from Fri AM.

Sun, May 17 - down 0.8 pounds. 977 calories.
Mon, May 18 - down 1 pound. 677 calories.
Tues, May 19 - down 1.2 pounds. 963 calories.
Wed, May 20 - down 0.4 pounds. 1118 calories.
Thurs, May 21 - up 0.6 pounds. 1484 calories.
Fri, May 22 - down 1 pound.

Total of 17 pounds lost since May 7, 2020.

I am 0.2 below my Jan 1, 2020 weight.
I have 14.2 pounds to lose to reach the next milestone.
I have 37.2 pounds to lose to reach my Spark starting weight


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/22/2020 (10:39)



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5/22/20 9:04 A

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I am down 55 pounds from what I weighed one year ago. I must remember that when I think I am not making progress. That is great progress. Accept it. Celebrate it. I am doing great. Thank you, Lord.



I'm below my January 1st weight! Woohoo! So excited.
Now 14 more pounds to reach a huge milestone goal.


Kind of a silly cup. God has told us we will have suffering and trials that make us into better people. We find our joy in Him. Even with the hardships, life has been good. I will enjoy this day. Time passes so quickly.





Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/22/2020 (10:42)



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5/19/20 9:13 P

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I spoke too soon. The check valve from one of the the sumps acted up, spraying water every time it clicked on. It was running once every 60 seconds.

I worry when I hear the sumps running. The last few years they've been banging every time they click off. The bangs get louder and increase in number.
A repairman from our heating and cooling company comes out every Spring and checks and maintenances everything (sumps, hot water heater, furnace, air condition, generator). He didn't seem to think it was concerning.
Today the plumber (from the same company) told me that when they bang like that, the check valve is going bad. He said I could replace both check valves (sumps at both ends of the house) with a pricier "quiet closing check valve." I will be looking into that because the banging wakes me up.
I watch the clock and time how closely the times are that the sump kicks on. During the worst times, the sump pump runs once every two minutes.
Today it was running once every 60 seconds, not banging, and making a whooshing noise of rushing water. When we checked, we found it was spraying water each time.
It was after 5PM so I hoped I could reach someone when I called. I recorded a message, then pressed a button to tell them if it was routine or urgent. The wait for a return call seemed forever.
It was another hour before the plumber arrived and fixed the problem.

They've made three visits for various things (including the maintenance visit) in the last week. Around $870 total. Most of it was labor.

I am thankful to have a home, and I am thankful that God always meets our needs.
* * * * *

RJ made a lovely lunch today: baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and carrots. We always use oversize salad plates that are smaller than a dinner plate. With that size plate I don't take too much or eat beyond full.

While we were all watching a movie tonight, she asked if anyone wanted a sandwich.

Part of me knew I should stick with one meal. Already ate. Done for the day.

Part of me was thinking munching...going back to that full feeling. I know I regret when I do that. I promise myself I won't do it again. So where are these feelings coming from? I KNOW I feel better when I stay slightly empty.

I compromised. I asked for half a ham on wheat sandwich, no trimmings, and one oatmeal cookie. (Yikes! I've been trying to avoid sugar.)

Total calories are 963 for today. I feel good about that.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/20/2020 (10:52)



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5/19/20 12:39 P

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Down another pound. That makes me happy. Only 0.8 pounds more and I will weigh what I weighed on January 1 this year. Big smile on my face, and victorious fireworks celebration. I am so close now.

Eating plan for today. I usually make lunch my one meal a day. Today RJ is making chicken for dinner, so I have to hold off a little longer. It's 12:15 and I'm not hungry yet. Drinking water and black coffee will make hunger manageable, and may even delay it.

Most of the times when I experience true stomach hunger are LATE at night (after midnight) when I should be sleeping. I might have a coffee or tea early in the evening, but when it's late at night I sip water. I will not eat during the night. I can wait until my regular meal the next day.
It's ironic that I am rarely ever hungry in the morning.

We think of hunger as a force that builds once it starts. That is not so. Hunger comes in waves. That is why it is possible to wait it out. Distract ourselves and move on.
I can be hungry (when I'm awake) during the night, and not be hungry at all a few hours later when I wake up. Curious thought: do I get hungry at night when I'm sleeping and don't even know it? I get hungry in the night if I'm awake, so do I get hungry when I'm sleeping? LOL

When I first started OMAD, I did best when I had my one meal later in the afternoon. That kept me from getting hungry in the evening until I went to bed.
Now my meal is getting closer to noon, between 11 and 2.

This is important because it affects how ghrelin works. It is based on time. If we eat at noon, the hormone will kick in around noon to remind us to eat. It is a creature of habit.
We won't die from experiencing hunger pangs but it can be temporarily uncomfortable. It's probably more mental than physical.
I don't want to make light of it because there are people in this world who do not know when they will get their next meal. My heart goes out to them.
It has even crossed my mind to feel guilty that I have consumed more than my share of food (as my weight attests).
Our blessings can become our curse when we are't wise stewards and indulge ourselves. We can blame it on our culture and the pervasive persuasive advertising. Ultimately, we are the consumers and must take responsibility for our actions and the consequences.

It is amazing how few calories our body needs to maintain life. We have been misled about that, too.
If we consume fewer calories, it becomes even more important to make them healthy foods that nourish.
* * * * *

It's another rainy day. Does that make 5 days in a row? The areas closest to the Lake are flooding. Some roads are closed. We are 10+ miles inland. It's low land and our back yard has become a pond again. A few years ago we had geese swimming in the back yard when it flooded.

I am going to change one of these pics to my Spark page banner.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/22/2020 (09:27)



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5/18/20 1:51 P

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www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCcNcHx2DpY

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
When it's cold outside I've got the month of May
Well I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl)







* * * * *

Down another pound today. Slowly but surely. I can do this. Another couple weeks and I could be at my BIG milestone goal!



With God's help, I can do this.






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5/17/20 12:48 P

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Another beautiful day. emoticon
Rain is necessary to life so I won't complain. I am inside where it's warm and dry.
We are still running the furnace. We've had abnormally cooler weather. April showers coming in May this year. Is Mother Nature commiserating with us during the pandemic shutdown?
* * * * *

Had a long nap yesterday afternoon. Slipping into my BAD sleep habits. Didn't go to bed until after 3 AM this morning. Slept well. Woke around 6:45 to use the bathroom. Everyone else had been up and gone back to bed. I did, too. Woke up a couple of times. Still tired so why not sleep in? When waking the last time (after 9 AM), laid in bed and sang and talked quietly to the Lord. Did it make his heart happy? The angels were listening. What a pleasant morning.
* * * * *


What did I learn yesterday? Even when I am not in control of my total calorie plan for the day, it can still work out for my good.

We usually operate on a fix-what-you-want and eat-when-you-want basis for most meals. Several times someone has made a meal for us an hour after I've eaten.

RJ has been cooking and baking more often since the shutdown. Yesterday I asked her if she was planning anything for lunch. She said no. I warmed up some leftovers for my OMAD meal for lunch.

A couple hours later Sis asked when I wanted her to make dinner. She wanted to fix Swiss Chard. I already ate! I had calories left. Leafy greens are low in calories and so good for us. It's the stuff we add to the chard to make it so yummy that adds up the calories.
When we were ready to eat, Sis said RJ had a pizza baking in the oven, too. Oh, my.

My total calories for the day were 1434. Still within my calorie range of 1200 - 1500. I usually come out below 1200.

Nice surprise this morning when I weighed. Down 0.8 pounds. We will chalk this up to calorie cycling. That really works when weight loss results get sluggish or stall. My natural instinct is to eat even less when I stall. It works better to eat more that day, then drop back to the lower calories the next day. Mix it up and keep the body happy.
* * * * *

With the lockdown the grands haven't been here. I could rearrange the toys that permanently reside in the hallway to the back room so I could get through. I have a floor-to-ceiling bookcare in that hallway, so now I can access more books.

This morning I went into that room where I store my photos, and brought some out to work on. I want to share work photos with the on-line work group.
Photography has been a lifelong hobby. I brought out some other photos that I don't have in books yet. I hate when pople don't label and date pictures. Have I waited too long that I won't know all the names? We'll see.
I found my brother's senior yearbook that I need to get to him. They are back from Arizona for the Summer. This weather must be a shock to their systems. They do not like extreme hot (summer in Arizona) or cold (winter in Michigan).

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/17/2020 (12:50)



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5/16/20 9:29 A

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Daily eating and weight loss progress since no-sugar and OMAD/IF hunker-down:
Fri, May 8 - down 2 pounds from Thurs AM weight. Consumed 1143 calories.
Sat, May 9 - down 2.4 pounds from Fri AM. 1027 calories.
Sun, May 10 - down 3.6 pounds from Sat AM. 1721 calories (high carb, pancakes and pizza)
Mon, May 11 - up 0.8 pounds from Sun AM. 567 calories (OMAD)
Tues, May 12 - down 1.8 pounds from Mon AM. 762 calories (One meal + apple)
Wed, May 13 - down 0.2 pounds from Tues AM. 643 calories (OMAD)
Thurs, May 14 - down 1 pound from Wed AM. 1077 calories (OMAD).
Fri, May 15 - down 0.2 pounds from Thurs AM. 810 calories (OMAD)
Sat, May 16 - down 2.8 pounds from Fri AM.
Total of 13.2 pounds lost since May 7, 2020.

I have 3.6 pounds to lose to reach my Jan 1, 2020 weight.
I have 18 pounds to lose to reach the next milestone.
I have 41 pounds to lose to reach my Spark starting weight
* * * * *

Last night was the first time I've been stomach hungry outside of my eating window. I went to bed at 8:30 PM and woke up around midnight. Worked on the computer. Felt hungry about 2 AM. Drank water. Did not eat. Went back to bed around 3 AM. Woke up again about 7:30 AM. Up for the day.
Morning routine: bathroom, make bed, open curtains, morning meds, scale, shower, dress, exercise, coffee, Bible and prayer quiet time, computer time. It is Saturday so this morning I filed the week's paperwork for the household accounts.

It's a gloomy day outside. Looks like it could rain.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/16/2020 (09:49)



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5/14/20 10:46 P

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Need to go to bed before midnight and stay there until morning. Sleep is an important part of being healthy and losing weight. I am surprised how much more weight I lost when I got more sleep.

Calories were a little higher today. That is good. I will be closer to 1200 calories. When my calories go below 800 per day for several days in a row, weight loss slows.
In my enthusiasm, my expectations set me up for disappointment. I must be satisfied to let my body lose the pounds and inches at its own speed. By living healthy, I put conditions right for it to adjust. My body does not lose on a manmade schedule.



Daily eating and weight loss progress:
Fri, May 8 - down 2 pounds from Thurs AM weight. Consumed 1143 calories.
Sat, May 9 - down 2.4 pounds from Fri AM. 1027 calories.
Sun, May 10 - down 3.6 pounds from Sat AM. 1721 calories (high carb, pancakes and pizza)
Mon, May 11 - up 0.8 pounds from Sun AM. 567 calories (OMAD)
Tues, May 12 - down 1.8 pounds from Mon AM. 762 calories (One meal + apple)
Wed, May 13 - down 0.2 pounds from Tues AM. 643 calories (OMAD)
Thurs, May 14 - down 1 pound from Wed AM. 1077 calories (OMAD).
Down 10.2 pounds for the week.

Weigh in tomorrow will look different than that because I go Saturday to Friday, weighing in on Friday morning.
In the past big losses have brought comments from the nay-sayers so I will delete the loss from my Spark Feed. Only the most observant would notice any change in my weight loss ticker.

I have 6.2 pounds to lose to reach my Jan 1, 2020 weight.
I have 22 pounds to lose to reach the next milestone.
I have 44 pounds to lose to reach my Spark starting weight. When I reach that goal, I may reset the ticker start weight back to reflect the real Spark starting weight. Then only I will know about all the additional pounds I had to lose because of all the gains in the last 14 years.
I am embarrassed that I gained this much weight over my starting weight. I never thought I would weigh this much EVER in my life.
I had more to lose in this segment of the journey (highest weight minus Spark starting weight) than I will have in the second segment that will take me to the original goal weight when I joined (Start weight minus goal weight). It will be a new beginning, turning back the hands of time to 2006 and doing it right this time. Another step in putting away hurtful thoughts to be remembered no more.
emoticon

At this point I am not even concerned if my original Spark goal weight will be my final goal weight. We'll see how I feel when I get there. I set it high on purpose. It's a number I felt more comfortable about achieving. It is 15 pounds higher than the goal weight WW set for me many years ago. I did not want to feel overwhelmed by too low a number.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/15/2020 (11:12)



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5/14/20 5:31 P

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My last entry sent me off in a surprising direction. I must have needed it. It was freeing. I do not have to make room in my head for memories that hurt me, thoughts that do not move me forward.

I posted this picture in my entry from yesterday:


Though it sounds hostile to others, it made me feel empowered. This is my story. I will no longer let anyone else write it, nor will I apologize for the edits I make.

I realize there are things outside of my control. I am not talking about that.
I am talking about where I do have control. I don't have to re-live memories that cause me pain. Many of those people are no longer in my life, so why am I giving them space?

I mentioned people who have make hurtful comments about weight or lost weight. That happened to me. I expected praise and received a comment that made me feel devastated. Was I naive to expect everyone to be happy for me?
She was perennially thin her entire life, even when she died about 40 years later. Instead of praising my 70 pound weight loss, she made me feel like I must have been a cow before and how could I possibly have let myself become that big. Why am I letting her hurt me today? Why am I re-living the sting?
Why am I letting is shape my interactions with others, in that I give an ambiguous answer when people ask if I am losing weight or how much I've lost. The childlike innocence was ripped away and I can't expect people to be happy for me.

There are a few people that I don't think would hurt me and I can speak more freely. A few intimate friends would understand because they care about me.

Some Spark friends would give me that courtesy. I don't know if I would ever share the total pounds I lose even on Spark. Would I ever have the courage to post total pounds lost on my ticker on my page. I adjust my start and stop dates to reflect segments of the journey. Right now it is the largest segment I have ever posted. (I am still over my Spark starting weight which I don't usually write here because I had gained and have now lost more than some people need to lose in their whole lifetime.I can even remember how smug I was in the early days when people were over a certain weight. Never thought I would go there. Maybe I needed a little humbling. And I can now understand the horrible and devastating struggle when someone has an unreal amount of weight to lose. My weight seems to be more volatile than most, and I lose and regain more rapidly than most. I have gained as much as 20 pounds in a week when grieving and it took months to lose.It always goes on faster than it comes off. If I don't monitor what and how much I eat, I can easily gain 1 or 2 pounds a day while cruising through normal weeks.)

Jealousy and disappointment in their own failures can also drive unkind comments. Some people are on Spark for their health, not weight loss. Some people have been on maintenance for years and do not remember what it is like to fight insurmountable odds. Some people have had an easy journey, sailing easily to their goal once they decide a course of action. They cannot understand those of us who take years and never seem to make lasting changes.

I will be careful not to open myself to hurt. Sometimes I just don't see it coming. Can't live in a cocoon, nor do I want to do so. But I can make the decision to not let those hurtful comments reside in my head.

A big key to deleting hurtful things is by not repeating the story of the offense to others, and not reviewing it in my head over and over. Once I mentally review or verbally share the offense, it takes a life of it's own and grows and takes on importance.

Choosing to forgive, even before the offense if possible, also helps when dealing with someone who is chronically hurtful that we can't delete from our lives. I have lived that. Praying helps. When I go in with a prayerful, forgiving attitude, it's like having a transparent shield between me and the abuser. I hear but I don't create a home to the words. Like the old analogy: One can't stop the birds from flying over their head but they can stop them from nesting in their hair.

Getting back to the picture above, there are other thoughts that can hurt, too. They are the remembrances of things that have gone awry, thoughtless remarks or deeds that WE have done before realizing the possible consequences on others and eventually on ourselves when things boomerang.
The song says we always hurt the ones we love. We never mean to hurt anyone. Hurts happen. People may misunderstand our best intentions.

Sometimes things we did come back to haunt us again and again over the years. While we learn from our experiences, we also have to extend mercy to ourselves.
We may have tried to make things right with the person we hurt. Regardless, those niggling thoughts pop up to torment us and remind us we are not as kind as we think we are. I would never hurt anyone on purpose.

I think I am a gentle, kind person. My sense of humor may cause me to say or do something that later causes me quiet misgivings or regret. Social media is a real bugaboo where we can give offense as fast as the words tumble out of our brain. There are always those who can find offense in anything.

I was taken aback to realize I am not always the most thoughtful person when I see others doing kind things for others that never occurred to me. Like, duh. I should have done that.

I think I am generous until I come up against a Mother Theresa person (like my older sister) who would give the shirt off her back if she thought you needed it. I said she will never have much because she gives so much away.
I believe strongly in charity. I've also had to help others when it was a sacrifice to do so. I have a strong sense of self-preservation that makes me nervous to cut things too close. I prefer to give of the abundance. I believe God blesses us so we can bless others. He never meant for us to be hoarders.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/14/2020 (18:08)



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5/13/20 11:37 P

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I am trying to post blogs more often. I need accountability and support. I can't have that if I stand in the shadows and only post successes. My Spark friends only know what I share. They can't help if I'm not more transparent. Not a bare bones transparency. Just sharing that I am not perfect and I don't always follow the plan I designed as well as I would like. Vulnerability makes me feel exposed, especially if people don't react kindly. That's when I go back and delete what I write. I am trying to stop doing that. I am not perfect. I need help. If I followed my plan perfectly, I would have been in maintenance years ago. It's funny that when people need Spark support the most, that's the time when they disappear or lurk about silently.

We are all trying to become healthy. Many are trying to lose weight. We, of all people, should understand and be supportive and kind. I've had a few people who weren't supportive when I was in team challenges. That seems to bring out the competitive in some people, and makes them think that in order to win, others must lose. Why can't we ALL be winners? No one left behind.



Not everyone understands this. Is it jealousy that drives someone to discourage the person who is ahead? I gave it my best. Isn't that what we are supposed to do? I can still hear her saying that I should give someone else a chance to win. It was not a joke. She meant it.



I shouldn't have listened. I thought about her words until they took over. I let it derail me and wasted years swinging back and forth like a pendulum, quitting and re-starting, losing and regaining, trying to get back the momentum that I had when I first started this journey. Even tonight the tears are not far away. It is time that I stop letting this hurt me anymore. I am letting it go along with all the other hurtful remarks people have made about weight and losing weight.


I am on a winning streak. I will not let thoughts in that do not move me forward.







Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/22/2020 (09:09)



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5/13/20 8:01 P

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Leaving a link to this article so I can find it again. Tips for handling the emotional eating "beast." LOL

www.sparkpeople.com/resource/wellness_arti
cles.asp?id=693


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/13/2020 (20:01)



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5/12/20 11:03 P

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Another good day. Stayed lower on calories, yay! Stuck with intermittent fasting and one meal + one snack (an apple).

Falling back into old sleep habits a little. I went to bed around 7:45 tonight because I was too cold to sit up at read in the living room. Added a lightweight blanket to the bed. Woke up after 10 tonight, sweating. I tried throwing off the lightweight blanket but it was too late. Had to get up because I was too sweaty and can't sleep in a sweaty bed.
I did not take a nap today. I don't take the naps when I stay in bed all night.That way I can am tired enough to go to bed before midnight and stay there.

Daily eating and weight loss progress:
Fri, May 8 - down 2 pounds from Thurs AM weight. Consumed 1143 calories.
Sat, May 9 - down 2.4 pounds from Fri AM. 1027 calories.
Sun, May 10 - down 3.6 pounds from Sat AM. 1721 calories (high carb, pancakes and pizza)
Mon, May 11 - up 0.8 pounds from Sun AM. 567 calories (OMAD)
Tues, May 12 - down 1.8 pounds from Mon AM. 762 calories.

Down a total of 9 pounds since Thurs AM, May7. Some of that is water weight and being more strict about IF and 1-2 meals a day. No snacking. No sugary treats or added sugar.

I only had to come here one night and talk myself out of eating again. I journaled it here (May 9).
It hasn't been hard to fall back into my previous good habits. Without those good habits, it gives rise to mental struggle. It makes a difference if I already accept the answer before a question is raised. If the answer is "You can eat again tomorrow," my mind doesn't ask what's in the kitchen to eat tonight.



* * * * *
The Mother's Day cake is gone. I didn't have any. No regrets either.

Today someone posted a link on Facebook to 55 Rhubarb Recipes from the Taste of Home Site. There were desserts, of course, and scones, breads, and jams. We always had rhubarb from the garden every Spring. It's that time of year. A family favorite was different variations of a cobbler, with a thin and crispy oatmeal topping that left peek-a-boo holes where the sauce could bubble through. It was a light dessert. Sometimes that would be out entire supper when I was growing up. Yummy and satisfying. Who needs two hearty meals a day? Country folk used to eat a good lunch.
The recipes gave me a hankering for our cobbler (which ironically, was called Rhubarb Macaroon in the original recipe). We didn't have any rhubarb in the house so that didn't happen. I ate an apple instead.

When RJ came home, she said she brought garlic bologna. She is a bologna sandwich girl. When I said no thanks, she said she also brought a carton of sandwich spread. Not one of my favorites.
I had been thinking about what I wanted for supper. I thought about it and realized I really wasn't hungry so passed. The apple may have taken the edge off. That's why my calories were lower again today.

Not going to get into all the kerfuffle and boohooing about how many calories are enough. I've journaled about that here before. With OMAD, we don't even need to count calories. Listen to our body, and stop when satisfied.
That's the catch. Before I learned self discipline in this area, I would have worried about getting hungry again before the next eating time tomorrow. I don't anymore. I will not starve. My body will not go into starvation mode unless I fast for 72 hours. Science is rethinking and debunking some of our nutrition ideas, including what we believed about what calorie limits should be. There is more freedom now to listen to our bodies. It just makes sense: to lose weight, eat less calories than we burn.

I have a very long way to go so I need a plan that I can live with long term. Too restrictive would be unrealistic over the long haul.
Keep it simple. Less rules.

OMAD and IF don't tell me what to eat or how much to eat. They only tell me when to eat. The rest is common sense.
I could blow those calories like I did on Mother's Day when someone made us pancakes for breakfast and pizza for supper. Or I could make healthier choices most of the time.
Even on Mother's Day, I stopped with a smaller helping that I would have done in the past.

I have chosen to decrease my sugar intake for my health's sake. I can have a sweet treat if I so choose. For now, I choose to avoid it and see if I can reduce the joint pain, headaches, and edema in legs. It's working.

* * * * *
Today the man from our local Plumbing & Heating & Cooling company came to do the yearly maintenance on everything (generator, furnace, air conditioner, sump pumps, hot water tank). I also had him check a couple of other things.

The sprayer in the kitchen sink has been making a noise when in use. He said it's corroded. We have well water. He said to soak it in CLR or vinegar. I've used vinegar to clean up things over the years so that seems like good advice.
The white vinegar container is nearly empty so we have to get more.

He replaced the faucet in my bathroom sink. The new faucet did not have a level to control opening and closing the drain, so he will have to come back tomorrow to put in a strainer to stop anything from falling down the drain.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/13/2020 (16:09)



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5/11/20 12:04 A

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It's getting late so this is a brief summary of the day.
Plenty of sleep last night and nap today.
Two meals today. No snacking.

It's Mother's Day.
RJ made breakfast and supper.

Pancakes and eggs for breakfast. Any day I have pancakes or pizza, my calories are high. These were smaller pancakes, a little bigger than silver dollar cakes. She served 3 pancakes, 2 eggs, and 8oz of 2% milk. The butter and syrup add calories!

Supper was turbot, onion rings, and fries in the Fry Baby. I had 4 onion rings of various sizes, a small serving of fries with ketchup, and about 4 chunks of fish with tartar sauce.

Later in the evening there was a yellow Mother's Day (heart shaped) cake topped with ice cream. I declined, said, "Not now." I think she was surprised but she accepted it graciously, no questions asked. So she and Sis had dessert while we sat in the living room tonight. I was reading a book anyway. It was a companionable evening.

Calories came in at 1721 for the day. The top of my range is 1500 so I am disappointed. I knew I was going to be over because of WHAT we ate. However, I can't feel that bad. I did stop eating when I sensed full approaching. Hope I won't pay at the scale tomorrow. It the scale blips up in the morning, it's only one day.
On the good side, I stayed on plan with intermittent fasting. Water and one cup of coffee during non-eating hours. I did good! That makes me a winner.

Weather has been funky today. Rain in spurts. Wind in spurts. Sometimes a gentle breeze. Once a gust came through that bent the trees low. It's been cold.
Some areas got snow or ice. I didn't see any here, though they warned about ice. I didn't go outside to check.
The beautiful pink blossoms on the magnolia outside my window never had a chance. It's been too cold for them to really blossom. Not they are few and brown looking. They have a short season even when the weather cooperates.
The other trees are getting tender green leaves. We have mowed the lawn a few times. Sis would be mowing every day if she could. She's the first one in the neighborhood out there.

The big tractors and farm equipment have been in the fields next door. They always start way before we do. They've sprayed and worked up the soil. The wind was taking some of their top soil away.

Big sonic boom sound this afternoon followed by other rumblings. Don't know what that was about.

I received the loveliest Mother's Day card with money tucked inside to "pamper yourself on this special day." Here is the lovely verse:

Wishing you
the gift of time
this Mother's Day
to relax and unwind,
to be as good
to yourself as you are
to everyone else,
with nowhere to be,
and nothing to do
except enjoy yourself.
...because
no one
deserves
a special day
more than you.
Happy Mother's Day

During this pandemic we certainly have the gift of time, don't we? With no where to be and nothing to do. LOL It will be nice when we can all be together again.

I saw this picture today and thought it quite lovely.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/11/2020 (00:11)



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5/10/20 8:52 A

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That worked. I came here and blogged last night when I was tempted to eat, and talked myself back into a strong place. I did not eat!

Positive responses to my blog yesterday (about being less than perfect, still struggling after all these years to accomplish anything lasting, lifted in part from my longer journal entry here yesterday). That is encouraging when other Sparkers understand and show their vulnerability, too. We are not perfect. Many of us can't (won't, don't) follow a straight line from the time we join until we reach goal. And most of the time it feels like we will never reach those goals though we keep trying.












Today will be a good day. I will stay focused. I will stay within the calorie range. I will practice intermittent fasting, drinking water, black coffee, or tea without additives. I will not eat added sugar.

For the record:
4 days in a row of good sleep, staying in bed at night...
2 days with no added sugar...
2 days under the calorie limit...

And ta-da! Down 8 pounds in 3 days
May 8 (consumed 1143 calories) - down 2 pounds from the May 7 morning weight
May 9 (consumed 1027 calories)- down 2.4 pounds from May 8 morning weight
May 10 (haven't eaten yet this morning) - down 3.6 pounds from May 9 morning weight

And yes, I am eating enough. I aim for around 1200 calories a day. Sometimes I'm over. Hopefully, I will be just under most days.

With OMAD we don't have to count calories. We eat one meal until we are satisfied or approaching full. That alone is a blessing. You don't know how many nights I've been uncomfortably full and tell myself I will NEVER do this again...but I do. I would rather be slightly empty than uncomfortably full.

It seems like many of my days are falling into two-meals-a-day. That is ok. I am still under the calorie limit.

With intermittent fasting I find success in curbing the snacking. That is where a lot of calories hide. It's surprising how quickly those little nibbles add the calories. If you can't stick with any other plan for the day, choose this one. It pays huge rewards.

What I like about OMAD (or two meals a day) and Intermittent Fasting is that it doesn't tell me WHAT to eat. It only tells me WHEN to eat. The rest falls into place.
I choose to track my food even though it's not required. The trackers are tools that help me know where I am and why I see the results I do. Some results makes me happy and some leave me a little disappointed. I can analyze what I see in the tracker and adjust accordingly.

Most of all, keep it simple. Don't add a lot of unwieldy rules.




Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/10/2020 (15:42)



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5/9/20 8:35 P

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I got the munchies tonight. I could eat something healthy. Am I hungry? Maybe a little. I ate a mid-morning breakfast and a mid-afternoon lunch. That's two meals. Total calories were ok for the day. I have a few calories left. What good does intermittent fasting do if I continue to eat? It helps me cut out all these extra calories.
Tomorrow I will be glad I didn't eat more tonight. I really want to get to the next goal level. It won't be easy.







Just like that I feel stronger. I am stronger than the urge to eat. I will not quit on my miracle.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/9/2020 (20:55)



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5/9/20 2:46 P

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Thursday calories: 1143. Down 2.4 pounds since yesterday's weight. Probably a bit of water weight lost. I will take it.

Sleep has been good. Thursday 10 hours. Friday 11 hours. Saturday 8 hours.
I've been staying in bed at night, other than a trip to the bathroom. Instead of getting up too cool off when night sweats hit, I've been throwing off the blanket and going back to sleep that way. Ironically, the sore throat, stuffy head that I thought were the result of being cold, has gone away. Just a trace of a headache at times. Could be from time spent reading or on the computer, too, not just from stuffy sinus.

I had two meals today, mid-morning, and mid-afternoon. Total calories 1027. I prefer OMAD but I'm ok with 2 meals because calories are good. It is important to eat enough to be satisfied so I don't have an urge to snack the rest of the day.
Stuck with intermittent fasting the rest of the time. Not snacking! Had black coffee with lunch. May have another one later today. Drinking water, too.

Staying on track makes me feel good. It fills me with hope and the feeling that I will accomplish my very reasonable goals. I am doing this for my health but there are so many other benefits as well.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/9/2020 (14:47)



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5/9/20 9:47 A

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www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=6670590

Journaling that Gets Results, by Beth Donovan Indygirl

I posted this in response:
Great post. I've journaled most of my life. It captures a lot of memories, good times and bad times. It is an important part of problem solving, personally and professionally. It helps me find clarity and options when I feel overwhelmed. It gives me hope and helps me create plans.
Sometimes it's a spiritual journal, a record of things I've learned. It can be my thoughts on verses I'm reading, or a prayer, communicating with God. It is my heart connecting with his heart.
Sometimes I journal about current events or books I read or things I hear or see. I also have a daily journal, pre-dated with a page for each day, that is a running log of what is happening, personally or globally. Sometimes it's something cut out and taped to the page, like pictures or a news event or even something I've written in my online accounts.
Like you, sometimes I indulge in virtual trips. Do the research and journal what I want to do. I loved to travel and take pictures. The memories and feelings will always be part of me.
* * * * *
Well, as I sometimes do, I went back and eliminated much of my responses to her different posts. Some made me feel vulnerable. The response above seemed too wordy and know-it-all. I am not the only "expert" on journaling. That response is how I would talk to someone face to face. It's a sharing of common interest and knowledge, what works for you and what works for me. Was it really such a bad response that I had to delete most of it?

Maybe it's an idea for creating my own blog about journaling someday. Maybe someone will find something helpful in it that they can use. Maybe it will encourage them to create their own tool.
* * * * *

Indygirl also posted about the abuse she has suffered from mother early in life and husband more recently. "Rage-o-holic" but he got help and doesn't physically attack her. Like how my sister's husband treated her. Enough said about that.

Her post made me think about how destructive I have been in my life. That's a capital "I" because I have created my own unhealthy havoc.
Years ago I did a Tony Robbins course. For the first time I really felt the total pain of my destructive short-term behavior, sabotaging many things I wanted long-term. I can still remember that moment and the pain and tears. The realization that I did this to myself. Living a 60s free-bird lifestyle. That is ok if I could be satisfied with memories because that is all I would have. Freedom and memories. Not accomplishing any long-term goals. Sacrificing even my health.
In my defense, I gave up a lot of what I wanted to do when I took care of my folks later. It was a decision I made, to live that period with no regrets. I changed my lifestyle to put them first. I can't regret all the things I gave up. Life is full of compromises.

So if I could do that for them, why can't I put my health first and live healthy now? How long have I been fighting this battle? Why is my weight always a yo-yo? I still weigh more than when I started Spark even though I've had wonderful successes.
I gain weight rapidly. I can gain 2+ pounds a day. Weight is volatile. But this isn't just about pounds. It's inches. Energy vs fatigue. Hope vs defeat. Goal-focused vs apathy. Planning vs flying free. Controlled calories vs freedom from eating restrictions.
Notice my tone. Freedom vs being controlled. That mindset works against me. Why can't I see living healthy as freedom, and living without restrictions as destructive?



I found this last year. Just the word "Thrive" appeals to me. It's vibrant and full of life.


At the opposite end of the spectrum, this one makes me feel sad.

It's true. How many times have I done that? Every time we do a challenge or a friend decides to lose weight, I determine I'm not going to be left behind this time. Just the phrase "left behind' makes me incredibly sad. I've been trying to lose weight since 2004. I should have awesome results. My friends who joined then reached their goal (or quit and went away...isn't that sad?)

Because I have so much to lose and keep adding to it, I never reach a significant weight loss, enough to feel like I've accomplished anything. Most times people don't even notice. Most of my losses are 30-45 pounds, followed by periods of re-gain. I lost almost 80 pounds last year. And gained 20+ back this year. Why?
Why do I keep repeating behavior I don't like? Because I like to eat. I like to eat when I want to eat, even when not hungry. Why am I so in love with eating?
Eating should be fuel for the body. It can be pleasant times with friends and families. Should it also consume times when I am alone? What is the driving force then? I like to eat out. I like to cook. I like to read recipes. I collect cookbooks and ideas on Pinterest and printed-out-recipes. There is a unhealthy glitch in my relationship to food. It didn't used to be this way. Am I using food to substitute for something else? There is something very satisfying about having something to chew or munch? I like easy foods, pick up and go, easily portable. I like crunchy, crispy foods. So why not celery or carrots or cauliflower or peppers? Apples can be crunchy and sweet.
Sometimes I don't even know WHAT I want so I nibble my way through food that doesn't satisfy instead of making a proper meal. I've had some success stopping that behavior.
I have more success when I had a written menu plan. Now that I am no longer the grocery shopper or cook, it doesn't work well. I've tried to accommodate my present situation, making better choices of what is available. It is possible to lose weight even in these circumstances. I lost 80 pounds last year doing just that.
Wish I could blog about this but it makes me feel too vulnerable. I'm sure there are many others in the same boat. Maybe we could encourage each other? It's ok to be less than perfect as long we don't give up. I pick myself up and go at it again. I will NOT give up.


I am living each day, making logical choices. I will string those successful days together. I will make choices that leave me without regrets. I will reach my goal, one goal at a time. I will stay focused on long-term goals.
I will come here each day and journal.
That makes me very happy.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/9/2020 (16:13)



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5/8/20 7:18 P

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Decided later to post this as a blog today. Haven't been blogging much lately. Maybe it will encourage someone.
* * * * *
I made it through the whole day staying on plan. No sugar. One meal today. Successful at intermittent fasting the rest of the day. Water and one cup of black coffee during fasting hours. Calories are in a good range.
I did it! Ah, the wonderful feel of success. One day at a time. I can do this.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/8/2020 (20:21)



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5/8/20 9:18 A

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My calories for meals have been good. My weight is hovering in the same range because of things outside my meals.
Sleep has been exceptional. The last two nights I stayed in bed more than 8 hours. That rarely happens. Can I keep this up? Can I make it a habit?

I have been hurting a lot. It's not cold and damp now so this is not weather related..
My bones hurt: my back, right shoulder, from right knee to hip. Had hip replacements, then broke right hip a few years ago.
My left hand, ankles and feet hurt but that's not bone-related.
I sleep on my left side because the right side hurts too much. Pain and night sweats are why it's hard to sleep more than a few hours at a time.

One thing that negatively affects me is sugar consumption. My arthritis is always worse when I let down my guard with sugar.
The last quarter of 2019 I made a commitment to limit sugar, only consuming natural sugars in food. I avoided sugar in obvious forms, like sweets or adding sweeteners food or foods high in sugar. No candy, cookie, cakes, pastries, soda. It was a mind set. I felt better and it probably helped with the good weight loss I was experiencing then. I still ate fruit that contained sugar, like apples.
That meant no sweets over the big holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I experienced my biggest weight loss that quarter.

To decrease the physical pain (and encourage my body to lose weight), I am going back to that no-sugar mindset.


Also been having more sinus headaches lately.
I googled if sugar affects sinus headaches. Here is the response:

"...Eating sugar to excess causes the overgrowth of yeast. In turn, the yeast triggers an inflammatory reaction in the nose and sinuses."

"Foods like chocolate contain refined sugar which can increase yeast in your body that can cause an overgrowth in bacteria, and that cause nasal congestion says Rene Ficek, Registered Dietitian."

"What to eat and what to avoid if you are suffering from sinus
Here are some foods which you can try to get rid of sinus symptoms:
Warm water : Start your morning with a glass of warm water, added with a pinch of turmeric and black pepper. ...
Herbal tea: ...
Chicken soup: ...
Warm milk with turmeric: ...

Foods which you should avoid during sinus:
Yogurt: ...
Cold drinks or foods:
Bananas:
Don't eat fruits or rice at night."

So there's another reason to avoid sugar. I'm in!






Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/8/2020 (10:09)



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5/7/20 6:03 A

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I sat on the porch for awhile yesterday, soaking up fresh air and sunshine, while the grands did some yard work (edging and trimming around bushes). We had homemade pizza for lunch. I had almost one piece with mushrooms and pepperoni, then picked toppings off the second piece because the pre-made crust tasted didn't taste good. Counted the calories as two whole pieces.

I've settled into two meals a day. Still can do intermittent fasting, just have a bigger eating window to include lunch and supper. Have to no fall into snacking during that time. I do better on one-meal-a-day but that hasn't been happening lately. Still a goal to get back to! I had a CarbMaster yogurt (70 cal) for breakfast today so I'm really straying from limiting meals.

I hurt my back last week. Bending over and twisting to wash back of legs in the shower. Pain comes and goes. Takes my breath away sometimes. Hip pain if I get the recliner at the wrong elevation. Shoulder pain that I should be used to by now. Sis said I'm sounding like an old lady, haha. Last night I hurt enough to go to bed early, around 8:30PM. Woke a couple of times but other than a trip to the bathroom, got 8 hours of sleep. That never happens. I usually sleep in 3-4 hour increments and get up in between. I'm a night owl, up most of the night.

Two events to help motivate weight loss are coming up this year. My last visit with the oncologist is in July. Our school class reunion is in October.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/7/2020 (06:09)



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5/5/20 6:56 P

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Some friends dropped off some homemade masks this morning (porch drop off/no contact). We gave them a gift bag of homemade cookies.

Been feeling a little sluggish lately. Combination of things. Headache off and on for the last week. I'm not prone to headaches. Sneezing, couthing, sore throat off and on the last couple of days. That's usually how my colds start. No sneezing, coughing, or sore throat today. Tired. Wake up tired. Sleep time all messed up. Sometimes I go to bed early, get up after a few hours, go back to bed in the morning before everyone else gets up. Sometimes I just stay up too late and don't go to bed until after 2-4 AM. Not a good sleep pattern. Sometimes I wake up after midnight, hot, sweating, and have to get out of bed for awhile, even when I'm tired. Not getting my naps in during the day like I'm supposed to do so that the swelling in my legs lessens. Sitting at my desk, staying on the computer for long periods.

Not eating so good either. Maintaining weight. Still have a lot to lose so I need to get back to the lower end of the calorie range. Not so much fresh produce now. Some things are hard to get. My state just let the fresh-produce markets (and garden centers) open. Still a lot of things unavailable. Why? Are people still hoarding? More people home cooking means they are buying things they don't nomally buy. (And WHY have I not been able to get my brand of toilet paper for more than 2 months???)

I am well stocked with sweet treats. The last food pantry pick-up had a lot of sweets (Halloween, Christmas, Easter). Lot of variety. Having sweets int he house is a good thing. I am content having sweets available and don't feel a need to indulge. When there are no treats in the pantry, that's when I want sweets. As long as they are in the house, I don't seem to want them as much.
It would be too much temptation for some people. For me, there's comfort just in having treats available. We are uniquely different. This works for me.
I am not saying I never have a treat. Moderation is key....and not every day.
* * * * * *

The big tractors and equipment have been rumbling down the lane next door. They always get their crops in before ours. I can see their fields from my window when I sit at my desk. We'll be going with soybeans this year.
When we were kids, we would occasionally pop the soybeans open and eat a few when we were in the field. Now they tell us you shouldn't do that. They need to be soaked and sprouted. Imagine that. How did we survive?

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 5/6/2020 (02:41)



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4/30/20 6:48 P

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From this morning's reading: Psalm118

25 Please, Lord, please save us.
Please, Lord, please give us success.

21 I thank you for answering my prayer and giving me victory.

14-15 The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.
Songs of joy and victory are sung in the camp of the godly.
The strong arm of the Lord has done glorious things!

28 You are my God, and I will praise you!
You are my God, and I will exalt you!

29 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/30/2020 (18:59)



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4/25/20 1:15 A

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Warning: Coronavirus rant and a bit political but not blatantly partisan. Feeling a bit under siege.
It's a summary of how the pandemic has affected us.

Our state has dropped from 3rd in the nation for coronavirus cases to 7th. We are listed as 3rd in deaths with the virus.
We are 8th in reported cases per 1 mil population. We are 5th in deaths per 1 mil pop.

Deaths are listed as coronavirus in the US if the virus was present (or could be presumed present on deceased who were not tested) even when other factors were the CAUSE of death. That is why the US has a highly inflated amount of deaths attributed to the virus.

We are a large state, more than 10 hours from the southeastern corner to the northwestern corner. 96, 810 square miles. (40, 001 sq mi are under water, lol. We drop from 11th to 22nd in size if you only consider the parts above water.)

We have 83 counties. There are 13 counties with less than 5 virus cases, and 22 counties with no deaths. The bulk of the cases and deaths are in a 3 county urban area.

The same urban tri-county area also controls the politics in the state, out-voting the rest of us by sheer number. Is that true of most states? Isn't it ironic that California and New York want to do the same to us by eliminating the electoral college so they can control national elections?

Our governor has adopted a highly restrictive one-size-fits-all list of rules for every county in the state. It's the same rules for the hot spot urban area as for the lightly populated areas hours away.

Social distancing is the rule across all the states, staying 6 feet from others. Facial masks are officially encouraged. It is common practice for people to use gloves when out, and we practice regular handwashing as do all the other states.

Most of us do not have trouble with the shelter-in-place rule.
That has been tightened to mean than only people who reside in that household should be present there at any time, unless you are elderly or immunocompromised and need a caregiver or need someone to bring you essential supplies.

You must stay at your primary residence. You cannot go to any other residence you own (even if your primary residence is in a hot spot area). This does not seem to apply if your primary residence is out-of-state and you choose to go to your vacation home in our state.

Stores with over 50,000 feet must not allow people to purchase items from aisles containing things not considered essential. There has been a bit of controversy there.
Smaller stores that sell carpet and flooring are closed. Lowe's, Menard's and Home Depot are open because they also sell "essentials."

Restaurants are closed but pick-up is available (if the owners deem the service is profitable enough to stay open).

Nurseries selling plants are considered non-essential and are closed. (This is a big source of controversy since it is the season for planting.)

Most local governments require you to keep your lawn mowed, but the governor has decreed that lawn mowing services are closed (not an essential service).

Stores that provide something to do during this stay-home period are closed. Hobby Lobby, etc.

Libraries, schools, and many offices are closed.

You may go outside for exercise as long as you practice social distancing. Many parks are closed because parents were letting children use the playground equipment.

You may go out on your boat but you cannot use a motor. The presumed reason is that using a motor would attract parties of people from more than one household to be present on the boat.

The governor wanted 70 days but the state legislators made her break it in smaller segment to be re-evaulated over time. Doesn't mean she won't get more than 70 days. She has dug her heels in about re-opening any part of the state for any reason. She is in over her head and not interested in advice from the people affected by her dictates.
If the federal government says anything, she is against it (on principle). Early on she warned doctors that they would be brought up before her administration if they prescribed the anti-malarial drug that showed a possibility of working because the president had mentioned it at a press briefing. Not sure if that edict is still in effect.

The media has incorrectly reported the protests against her authoritarian rule. They had stated people are protesting stay-at-home. What they are protesting is her stringest one-size-fits every county rules, especially when things can be handled safely with social distancing if one must go out (like to get plants).
If one can social distance while purchasing groceries, why can't they social distance buying plants?
If one is already at Walmart, why can't they purchase what is needed to finish home projects? Why must they go to another store to purchase paint?

This does not mean that we are not taking the virus seriously. We ARE staying home. We are discouraging others from visiting. We are doing religious services on line. We are home schooling. I have no problem with those limitations. We want to stay safe.

On April 1 I broke a tooth. It was a vertical break in two places, so concerned if that breaks loose, what happens to the filling? (The broken piece came out today, April 24.) Normally I would have seen the dentist right away. I talked to him via phone on April 2. Thank goodness, there is no pain. He recommended regular pain medication if that should happen. Visits to the denist are not considered an essential service so I wait.
The truth is that I do not want to have someone working on my mouth during this time. Even though I think I am healthy, is everyone at the dentist's office healthy? Dental work requires really close contact.
Ironically that last time I was out of the house was March 2 for a dental appointment.

While it doesn't personally affect me, I can sympathize with those who are in dire straits financially from being off work during this period and have no income. Many charities and businesses are in the same boat.

Like many others, I am concerned about a resurgance of the virus once restrictions are eased. There are so many things we don't know. Information about the origins of the virus are not being shared. There is still research needed to understand the virus.
Some predict dire consequences of opening too soon. Some predict a second wave in the fall during flu season. None of us knows for sure. There has been many best-guesses. To be fair, the powers that be are probably trying to do what they think is best. We all have to practice a little grace toward others during this time. As someone wisely said, we are all in the storm together but we are not all in the same boat.

People try to reassure others by saying we'll get through this. Everything passes with time. My concern is how the future will look when it passes. Not just how our lives in general will look, but as I think of my friends and family and others that I know, WHO will still be here when this passes? My advanced years gives me the wisdom to keep that thought to myself.

There are still shortages of many items we took for granted. Some items are limited to one per customer. It took weeks to find toilet paper. Still unable to get our regular brands even though there are commercials on television showing they are still making them. Why would people hoard toilet paper when the virus is respiratory in nature?
Still unable to get sanitizing wipes but that makes sense. We are encouraged to keep things wiped down but can't get wipes. I've seen recipes for making our own but even paper towels are in short supply. Lysol/disinfectants are unavailable.
Baby wipes and baby formula were unavailable at times.

With more people staying home, there are more home-prepared meals. Baking supplies such as flour and yeast are in short supply. People have time to do things they normally wouldn't do.

There has been conflicting information about how long the virus can last on surfaces. That concerns us about ordering anything on line. Let the delivery person set the packages on the porch and walk away before retrieving them. Some recommend leaving delivered packages outside or in the garage for a period before opening them. Wipe down packages.

Even ordering food for pick-up is a concern about the health of the people preparing the food and how long it can last on containers.
For now, we have chosen to only prepare food at home. Workers at the grocers are falling ill. How long can the virus last on packages and containers purchased from the grocers? I've seen special instructions for taking care of groceries, wiping them down, washing fruit and produce.
It is ironic after the massive push to do away with disposable bags in the move to multiple-use shopping bags, that we are now seeing the reverse requested. Multiple use bags harbor germs. Clerks do not want to touch them, so we are back to disposable bags again.

We are more fortunate than some.
We are safe at home.
We have a roof over our heads.
We have enough to eat. It's not always the healthiest choices. It tends to be foods with a longer shelf life. We are not going hungry.
We have had snow a few times but we are warm inside.
It has been an unusual season of storms for many. Tornadoes swept across the south on Easter Sunday.
Some feel alone. I have my family here.
In today's world of electronics, we are connected with the rest of our world in real-time.




Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/25/2020 (02:55)



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4/22/20 11:45 P

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Can I start over? I haven't been doing badly. Just not making any progress. Staying in the same weight range all month.
It's not really about starting over. It's about tightening up the loose ends. Do the little things that add up to a lot. Yes, that extra bite matters...when it happens again and again. I haven't binged. Just a little over on calories too many days. Enough to maintain weight. I don't want to maintain. I want to lose!

Even though I can't get anything fresh right now, I can make the better choices. The big thing is staying within the calorie range.

I can do this.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/22/2020 (23:52)



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4/20/20 5:53 P

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We are encouraged to put a bear in the window for children to enjoy when they are out walking with their folks. It's a great idea.

I posted this picture in my Feed for SWEETENUFGILL because she mentioned doing that. Hope she saw it.
* * * * * *

Yesterday, the same picture that made me feel happy is now making me sad. As this time drags on, it reminds me that I am stuck inside looking out.

When I was younger, I thought I had to go somewhere every day. As my caregiver duties became heavier, it became easier to stay home than to get others ready to go out and get them in and out of the car and help while out. We still went out but it was less often. It amuses me to remember the day Dad asked if we didn't need to go to the grocers. He was ready for an outing. Thankfully the grocers had both electric cart (when he could still drive one) and later a wheel chair type with basket in front so I could push him around the store while we shopped. I loved being with him and miss him and Mom so much.

Fast forward to the present. Now I am the one who does not get around easily. I can still drive but I need help getting into the car. We also have a lot of steps to get in and out of the house. It limits my activity. I've turned into a homebody.
I love being home. It's so much better than it was for previous generations. Even at home we are still connected to the outside world and our friends and relatives and others.

So you would think that this shelter-in-place order would not bother me. The first month wasn't bad. I am a little surprised at the restlessness I sometimes feel. One day turns into the next until I have to think about what day of the week it is. Even the seasons have been confusing with snowfall twice last week.








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4/6/20 3:30 P

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After I posted the entry below, I created a slimmed-down blog about IF.
I feel so strong now. I can do this. Finding my strong place!


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/6/2020 (22:25)



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4/5/20 9:48 P

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I am fighting the urge to snack tonight. Same yesterday. Not giving in! So I sit here with a glass of water and a cup of vanilla coffee (black, no additives).

If I give in, I will get off track. It's not all-or-nothing thinking. It's one compromise leading to another, thinking I'll do better next time, and wondering if this once really matters.
Grazing always puts the pounds back on. I set up this challenge for the month of April, and I plan to stay the course. I usually celebrate my birthday the whole month. The quarantine has put the ka-bosch on that. Our health is more important than celebrations.

The scale is down 8 pounds (from April 1 to April 5). The first two days I was trying to stay with one meal a day so they were lighter on calories. In the last 3 days the calories are in the middle of my range.

Since we are all home, we are eating more family meals so that is usually two meals a day. Regular family food. Sis made tuna patties for lunch. For supper RJ made a crockpot potato dish.

When I was on low carb, I ate more food. When I do OMAD, I eat what the family eats. I still lose weight because there are less eating times each day.

I've been trying to lose weight too long. I started this while recuperating after major surgery in 2004 when the pounds started stacking on and I couldn't go to the gym. I joined Spark in 2006. I weigh more now than when I started. My big goal is to get back to my starting weight. I did so well over the holidays. I was on track to reach that goal before my birthday.
During the first 3 months my weight was on a yo-yo. I am thankful I did not gain back all the weight I lost last year. So thankful for that.

Why can't I set a course and stay true to the end? Everyone reaches their goals. Why not me?

Intermittent fasting is sustainable. No food is off limits. I just can't eat outside of my eating window. That helps me enormously with the nighttime munchies and grazing during the day.

I am not hungry in the morning. However, once I eat, it seems to open the floodgate. My mind thinks about what else there is to munch on. That is the habit I have changed during my most successful times. If I do intermittent fasting, my mind knows better than to start off on that tangent because the answer is no (Wait until tomorrow when it's time to eat). It eliminates the mental struggle. The decision is already made.



I am having a hard time typing this tonight because my left hand is numb. I have some neuropathy but I suspect this is carpal tunnel. I had carpal tunnel release surgery on my right hand decades ago. The left hand was not bad enough to warrant surgery at that time. It seems to have caught up with me.
Since the orthopaedic surgeon thought my health was not good enough to do a badly needed shoulder replacement, he will probably nix the carpal tunnel surgery at this time. This is one of the many reasons why I am trying to get healthier.

I really, really, really want to be much smaller before seeing the oncologist. Next visit is July (if we are out of quarantine). I've already lost a very nice amount since my last appointment but my goal is to be farther along. I have no sustained loss for January through March. Three months without even a modest loss. That's why I am doing this personal challenge. By the end of April my good habits should be back in place like they were last year.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/6/2020 (15:34)



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4/4/20 11:28 A

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I had to get on the scale twice this morning. Down 6 pounds from what I weighed yesterday morning. Normally the weight comes off slowly, and I'm okay with that. I just don't want to see the same numbers on the scale like when I yo-yo up and down. Even a fraction of a pound lost is progress.

It's ironic that I should have the loss because of how I ate yesterday. (See the entry below). It was not low carb. It was not vegetables. It was protein and carbs and fruit.

I slept a lot yesterday. Wonder if all the extra sleep affected the scale this morning. Sleep is an important part of healthy living. I don't sleep well if I go to bed before midnight. I sleep best early in the morning.




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4/4/20 1:26 A

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I've been in the mood for scrambled eggs the last few days. The hankering happens when it's not my eating window, so I think I'll wait and make them later. Somehow it doesn't happen.

A couple of days ago I said it would be nice to have poached eggs on toast. We haven't had that for awhile. Guess what appeared for lunch. Yes, they did.

Tonight after our sweetheart got home from her unsuccessful hunt for toilet paper, she made eggs and sausage for supper. She wasn't here at lunch time.

It's been an unusually eggy day.


Another Sparker blogged that she is looking forward to starting the 5% Challenge. This is a good time for challenges. Most of us have more time to cook. Also more opportunity for off-plan eating while we are staying home.

How am I doing?
I had a few more calories today but still within the range.

I've slept more today. I'm not a night sleeper so napping is normal. Why is sleep sweeter and the bed more comfortable when the sun shines in the window? Ah, the joys of being able to do what we want to do.

This is also a good time for doing more cleaning. When this ends. we may all have the cleanest houses. And it's good exercise.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/4/2020 (01:27)



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4/4/20 12:26 A

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Three things for which I am grateful:
1. A fairly comfortable quarantine time in my home
2. I found toilet paper today! Enough for now. Been looking so long.
3. Enough food.

As we see things unfold every day, it occurs to many of us that we may be close to the Lord's return to this earth. There have been other times in history when people were sure the Lord was coming back then. The Bible tells us no one knows the date except the Father.
Heaven is a wonderful place. Our eternal home with God. We will have new hearts, perfectly in tune with Him.
We have so much invested there. All of our family and loved ones who have gone before are there, waiting for us.
If Christ doesn't come back before, it will be our turn to cross over. What a time of rejoicing that will be for us. It is hardest for those left behind as they grieve and miss us.




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4/3/20 3:51 A

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Thank goodness for social media. It's been a door to the outside world for a long time. I can keep up with my friends. I certainly see more pictures than they would normally share when we meet up. I love it. It's been great for keeping up with family genealogy as I see events unfold in their lives.

We have been a stay-home state for awhile. We are third in the USA of positive cases of COVID-19. We are being very careful.

It's been weeks since this started. Why is there still no toilet paper or sanitizing wipes in the store?
I've seen recipes for making our own wipes. Tonight I saw a response to someone's Spark blog where they suggested making disposable wipes by putting a roll of paper towels in the plastic bag and pouring the liquid in. I like that idea better than re-using a cloth. Why didn't I think of that before?

It is recommended to wipe everything down daily but we can't get sanitizing wipes so have to use what we have. Every time I use one of the few wipes I have left (or any other product that is limited now), I question if I really need to use this now. Funny that they have become like gold.

There is no substitute for toilet paper. By the time someone tells us of a store that has TP, we go immediately and it is gone already. We are supposed to limit trips to the store, so how can this be good having to go from store to store looking for essentials?
They assure us there are no shortages if people would go back to doing normal shopping and quit hoarding. When is that going to happen? Even with early hours dedicated to seniors at the store, there is a lack of essentials like TP.
Thankfully, we have a couple of grands who have been on the look-out for us and brought us TP. However, stores are limiting it to one pack, so they can't buy for their family and us at the same time. No mega-packs available. We are thankful for what they bring.

I've tried ordering things on line. That freaks out RJ because of the possibility of virus contamination on packages. There is so much conflicting info out there. USPS just posted that you can't get it from packages. Several other places have posted how long the virus can survive on different surfaces. One deliveryman told someone to leave the packages on the porch for 24 hours before taking them in because so many workers are positive for the virus. Leaving them on the porch is unwise with so many porch pirates out there, but we can leave them in the garage. I open them, take the merchandise out and wipe it down with wipes, throw the box out to be burned.
I am so tempted to try another order but I don't like upset RJ. She is our legs during this time of high risk for seniors. Our county public health put out the stats for today, and the highest category of people testing positive for the virus here are her age (50-59). That doesn't take into account severity of illness. People her age are probably more like to survive than people our age.

I don't mind staying home but the others are going a bit stir crazy. I am quite contented here. Haven't been out since my last dental appointment on March 2.

That would have been unheard of when I was younger and had to go somewhere every day! Taking care of Dad changed me. It was too difficult to get him out and about so trips were limited. I smile to remember that HE would ask me if it wasn't time to get groceries or something so he could go out occasionally. We did go to church every Sunday, too. I am so glad my elderly parents did not have to go through this time. They faced enough difficulties during their lifetime.

On the brighter side, we are so blessed in many ways. We have made a pleasant home. We are comfortable. We have family and friends. Look at all the ways we have to connect with the outside world today. Our relationship with God keeps us centered. What a treasure His Word is, blessing and strengthening and comforting. Yes, we are blessed.

Three things I am grateful for today:
1. Home
2. Family and friends
3. Enough. We have enough. Things may be limited at present but we have enough.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/3/2020 (04:08)



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4/2/20 9:08 A

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The dentist is not seeing patients. I broke a tooth last night while eating Campbell's chicken and rice soup. Nothing hard or sticky that would break a tooth.

Not the first time this has happened. I wondered why I am having trouble with my teeth lately (like this). I take care of my teeth. Brush and floss regularly. See the dentist regularly. I've spent a fortune on my mouth. I should have great teeth.
My parents lived to 85 and 95, and had their own teeth. Where are the genetics here? I expect the same.
To be a little more positive, it could be worse. Maybe it will help me avoid eating any more than absolutely necessary during this time.

I haven't been out of the house for weeks. I was not looking forward to a trip to the dentist where people would be up close and personal. I am trying to avoid germs and viruses.






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3/29/20 10:46 P

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There have been a rash of burglaries in the barns in my area, a 1 x 2 mile area. They happen between 11PM and 4 AM. I am a night owl but don't always stay up till 4 AM. A couple of nights ago I thought I heard a noise outside but it was so dark that I couldn't see the barn. Do we leave the outside lights on to discourage the burglar? If we are sleeping, that would only aid him or her in seeing what they are doing. Our neighbor's house is way back in the woods, about 1/2 mile back. His lane is right next to our property line. Makes it convenient for someone to drive down it and park on the back side of the barn where I wouldn't see them. There is a house across the lane where our neighbor's daughter lives but they have no windows facing in this direction.

Times are bad. We are on stay-home orders in our state, unless your job is considered essential. We can also go out for groceries, pharmacy, bank, etc (essentials).
I haven't been out. My niece has run for groceries and pharmacy. That concerns me because if she gets sick, we will probably all get sick.

There is still no toilet paper or sanitizing wipes at the market. There hasn't been for a couple of weeks.
Internet services are being stressed because everyone is using it, more than usual. Kids are doing school work on line. People are trying to work from home, if they can. We are all on socializing and trying to keep up.
I am now reading my second book since stay-home started on March 24. I am spending way more time on Facebook and other sites than I normally would.

I saw this a few days ago.

Something to think about...
And if you are not up to greatness, how about all those projects you've been wanting to do? Some of us have stacks of books we've meant to read. How are you spending this unexpected gift of free time




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3/23/20 8:05 P

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Kids left today. Six hour trip back home. House is quiet!

Heard that we may be on lockdown in my state as of midnight. We will be able to go to the grocery store. Workers with essential jobs can travel to work.

We tried to get a few items today. Shelves still quite empty.

Good news: I am at the low end of my calorie range for today. Had one meal and a snack. I will try to get back to one meal a day. Quite proud of myself.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 3/23/2020 (20:07)



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3/22/20 10:09 A

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Kids are here but not staying in place. They are visiting everyone while they are here. That concerns me because Lord only knows what they may be bringing back to us (who are staying in place because we are older and immune-compromised). No six foot distance either. Lots of hugging and leaning (especially the little ones). I cringe at saying anything...but I will be sorry if they catch anything and share it with us, too. Love them dealy but won't regret when this trip is over. Their timing is terrible. A pandemic is not a time for visiting everyone.




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3/21/20 7:56 A

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From this morning's reading:

Psalm 37:3-7 New American Standard Bible

Trust in the Lord and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light
And your judgment as the noonday.

Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.

Same passage in New Living Translation:

Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.

Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
or fret about their wicked schemes.
* * * * *

Family safely arrived yesterday evening. Noisy house with five extra people. It is quiet this morning while they sleep.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 3/21/2020 (07:59)



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3/19/20 10:56 P

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What a horrible week. All of the things below (computer network hacked, hassle with bank to release money to pay tech support, which is still listed as pending) plus following up with various offices to notify of personal info being hacked. Credit reporting bureau (I was referred to talk to that specific agency by Social Security Admin) was extremely unhelpful. Finally put it in the hands of a monitoring service that I had been considering for a long time. She was so helpful.

Sis and her daughter are still dealing with death in the family. Then Sis received an email from a group that she took to be personally directed at her. I think it was sent to all members, but included a personalized greeting at the beginning. Then the secretary texted her not to come in tomorrow. That will put Sis behind on her own work. It's been discouraging.

Sis' granddaughter and family are coming for the weekend. Very bad idea. We've asked people to stay away during this time because of our poor immunity. I realize they want to be with us because she has taken her grandfather's death very hard. That will be five extra people here, three of them minors.

I try to live every day of my life and not wish it away but for once I am looking forward to getting to next Tuesday when we will be back to just ourselves here.



Weightwise, I've been up and down. Up since the beginning of the year. Not what I want to do. More days have been two meals a day than one meal a day. I need to get back to one meal a day, and fasting the rest of the time. That should be a great fit with the scarcity of groceries at the store now. WHY am I consuming more?
I was 10 calories over my calorie range today. That is an improvement from the chaos I've created recently. I want to get back to the lower part of the range so the pounds will start coming off again.
With this regain, I do not feel good at all. Sluggish and tired. Not like me at all. I need to be healthy and energetic during this trying time of dealing with things happening in the world, especially the virus sweeping the globe now.
I need to be able to help others!

There must be three good things that happened today.
1. A nice lady from church called today to find out how we were doing. We had a lovely chat and prayed together on the phone.
2. The lady at Social Security Admin was pleasant and helpful.
3. The lady at the credit monitoring service was exceptionally nice.
4. I had a lovely nap later in the afternoon.
5. I was able to say no to extra calories several times today. I was not hungry and did not need to eat or consume hard candies when working at the desk.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 3/19/2020 (23:16)



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3/18/20 11:07 P

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Today has been a frustrating day. Not a day I want to remember so won't record much here except to say it stemmed from computer trouble. Spent most of the day working with the tech support people.
It's very expensive so the bank gives me grief when I try to pay tech support for their service. I am not asking for credit. I am paying with my own money. They deny payment because no service should cost that much so it must be a scam, etc. Hackers are smart and coming up with more ways to get into our systems. New products are created to take care of new hacks. It is not cheap. What worked yesterday may not be the solution today.

Looks like I might have to call tech support back tomorrow because now it won't let me scan documents/pictures to my computer. That is essential for the genealogy work I'm doing.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 3/18/2020 (23:08)



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3/11/20 11:18 A

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Overwhelming emotions.
BIL passed away yesterday when the ventilator was removed.

In the midst of all this, God gave peace and joy. That won't make sense to some people. Riding above the storm. Cradled close by the Shepherd.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 3/12/2020 (00:45)



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3/9/20 10:24 A

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The sun is shining brightly. We've had a lot of sunshine lately. Gloomy gray winter days are part of nature but I prefer the warmth of the sun. It's good for health and bones.

Today is my little sister's birthday. I spoke to her on the phone yesterday. She lives 10 hours away. I wished she lived closer. She often goes out for coffee or lunch with friends. I want to be able to do that.
That's why my biggest goal is to regain my independence. It is happening slowly. I am doing things for myself now that I couldn't do after cancer and declining health. Once I can get my feet into my car by myself, I will be free again to go where I want to go, when I want to go. How many things we take for granted until they are gone!

Independence has been the theme of my vision book. I have thoughts for the next few pages. It will be a countdown to my next oncologist appointment in July (like I did in December, making a countdown goal to the new year). I've had the incremental countdown in place since last Fall, but it's good to make it visual. It helps to SEE it.

The goal for today is to stick with OMAD, and intermittent fasting the rest of the day. I will drink water all day. I will have black coffee or tea without additives if I desire during the fasting hours.

Sweet Gillian, to answer the questions you asked below: Yes, it is hard to get enough calories in one meal a day. Most people doing OMAD do not count calories. They eat until satisfied and stop. Some people prefer to share the family meal as their OMAD meal.
This is actually what led me to OMAD. I never intended to go in this direction. I was doing intermittent fasting to cut out all the horrible calories each day from grazing. I noticed after eating my meal that I was satisfied and really didn't feel hungry again. That led to eating one meal a day. It was a natural progression. I wondered why I was eating more often if I wasn't hungry. We eat for so many reasons other than hunger.

All calories are not equal. Some are more satisfying. I have to give up my strict goal for low carb in order to find satiety when eating OMAD. If I have too many days with only a big salad for my meal, I start craving protein. I can add protein to my salad. I have learned that I do not like a salad with too many items in it. However, I belabor the point because there are so many other healthy foods to eat besides salad.
There is no argument that low carb is a terrific way to lose weight. I feel good when I eat low carb. I've had to make peace with this change to allow more carbs. I still lose weight.

As I've grown older, I've come to the unhappy realization that I can't eat like I used to eat. It takes very few calories to sustain life. I question the traditional standard of 1200 calories as the base for being healthy. How did our ancestors ever live long and fairly healthy lives without counting calories? They listened to their bodies.

We've been lied to about so many things, like "Breakfast is the most important meal." That was part of the marketing strategy for the cereal company decades ago. If something is repeated often enough, people accept it as truth.

It makes me wonder how many other things are based on true science/health and how much is based on traditional wisdom. For instance, the notion that we should eat 5-6 meals a day so we won't become hungry. That is a fairly new idea that helps people who can't control their eating. There is a scientific explanation that it keeps the blood sugar from spiking and dropping.

There is a panic that we will go into starvation mode if we only eat one meal a day, and that we will cause harm to our health and sabotage our will power to lose weight. Now there is evidence that starvation mode isn't triggered until one goes 72 hours without food.

I would never do a dry fast, abstaining from even liquids. I lose weight just fine doing intermittent fasting with non-caloric beverages. Keeping it simple is key. Don't make it feel difficult by denying liquids.
There are days when two meals a day works better for me. My body lets me know when I need to add more food. That can be tricky because I have to know if it's head hungry or stomach hunger.

The battle for control is mental. If I start making adjustments (adding an extra meal more often than staying with one meal), then I have the mental battles. If I open the door to increased flexibility too often, I can kiss the plan goodbye. Inside is the person who does not always act with my best interests at heart. That inner person is the reason I am overweight and unhealthy at all. I have to be the adult and work out the compromise that sets borders. It is my life and my journey. I do not intend to live it struggling and unhappy.

Intermittent fasting and striving to keep it OMAD are keys that give me control. It is a very good feeling to be in a strong place and live healthier.

Is it necessary to count calories? Probably not. Keeping it simple is best. I will continue to use the nutrition tracker because it gives me a better sense of where I am. It's a habit to use the tracker and takes very little time now. I like numbers. I can see cause and effect. When I exceed my calorie limit, my weight goes up. When I stay under or at the lower end of the calorie range, my weight goes down.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 3/9/2020 (16:56)



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2/26/20 5:45 A

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The stuff you've shared about OMAD is interesting. Do you find it difficult to eat enough calories and nutrition in your one meal? I find I can't eat as much as I used to - in terms of quantity. Just wondering.

I'm not doing OMAD. But I have also had the desire to make a kind of 'recipe book' - I thought of using like a card system, so I have a collection of meals that I like to eat - so I don't have to keep thinking of what to eat!

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 2/26/2020 (05:47)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

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