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BODYREMEDIATOR's Photo BODYREMEDIATOR Posts: 141
10/13/10 1:38 P

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I know what you mean. I am a Latina from an interracial family, and I married a caucasian man.

I just smile back.

“Work as hard as you ask others to. Strive for what you believe is right, no matter the odds. Learn that mistakes can be the best teacher.” ~ George Steinbrenner III
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9/29/10 2:17 A

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Hmmm...does it count if you are not from down south?
Here in central NJ, we rarely get stares since there are many multiracial couples. However I do have a story:
My bf is part African American mostly Native American. He can pass for latino. When we attended the Puerto Rican day parade together in NYC, everyone stopped and asked him questions in Spanish. Only for me to translate them to him.
I really get a lot of stares for being a white non-latina looking person who can speak and understand spanish. (as if the only women who speak spanish look like Jlo.)

CHANGE_4_ME's Photo CHANGE_4_ME Posts: 1,516
8/6/10 3:22 P

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This part of Kentucky we still get an occasion stare or comment. I think I see it more in the legal/justice system and school system than anywhere else which is sad. I can think of one occasion many years ago. My son was just small (he'll soon be 19) we were in line at the grocery store when we got those stares from a white person behind us. My son has never really known a stranger so he was talking to and trying to play with the child when the parent pulled his/her child back. My son gives me a non-understanding look and I just politely said "it doesn't rub off". We paid for our stuff and left. Maybe I over- reacted but sometimes it just gets to you.At least I was nice, right? It's only when it 's aimed at my children that I get defensive. If my husband notices staring eyes in public he'll lean over and kiss me. :)

"But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded."~2 Chronicles 15:7



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DEVONA8's Photo DEVONA8 Posts: 897
8/5/10 10:26 P

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I cannot imagine living down south. I live in Southern Ca, which is wonderful. Where I'm a t there are almost as many mixed couples as any other race. Not to say I don't get a look every now and then, but I assume it's just because I have a beautiful family.

The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied. Prov 13:4






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MRSREALLE's Photo MRSREALLE Posts: 8
7/14/10 4:28 P

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I recently moved to a very small rural town in NE North Carolina to be close to my only sister after my divorce. I have 2 bi-racial children ages 4 and 5 1/2. I moved here from Minneapolis, Minnesota a large city with a large mixed race population where I barely ever received stares.

I have had three shocking incidents since moving here June 1, 2010. One involved my daughter. I have lived in small towns before, but nothing like this!

One evening, my daughter was doing a lot of scratching and complaining about bug bites. I have some cream that helps stop the itching so I started applying it to all her bites. As I was, I commented on how the bugs must really like her (her brother barely had any bites). My daughter looked at me and said it was because she's black. I was in complete shock and asked her why she thought that. She told me her friend told her the bugs only bite black people! Her friend is only 5! I couldn't believe her parents had already affected her perspective on people of other races. I explained to my daughter that bugs bite anyone that is healthy. Bugs do not bite her because of the color of her skin. I asked her if she remembers all of Mom's bug bites and she did. I asked her, "If bugs only bite 'black people' then why did I have so many bites?" She smiled. I told her, if bugs don't bite you then you need to worry because it could mean you have a serious illness. My daughter has never experienced discrimination before. The kids she knew in Minnesota were just not like that, they all came from various ethnic backgrounds (African American, African, Native American, Caucasion, and Hmong).

Second, I met a wonderful African American man not long after moving here and he has been spending weekends at my place recently. I only have 3 neighbors close to me, all are white and rebel flag flyer's! I was at my sister's house one day last week visiting and one of her friends was over. He asked me, "So who are all the black men you have been having over at your place?" All I could do was look at him in shock. He told me one of my neighbors asked him about me and who all the black guys were coming over to my place. For starters I thought "What business is it of theirs who is coming over to my house?" Then I was in disbelief that this neighbor couldn't even tell that it was the same guy coming over every weekend. I guess he is one of those people you hear about that thinks "They all look the same." Guess they all must drive the same vehicle too!

The third incident involves my 80some year old landlord. The a/c unit went out on a 99 degree day. When the repairman told him the entire compressor was shot and since the unit was so old, it would be more cost effective to replace the entire unit my landlords response was crazy. I don't deal with him directly he has a woman that handles all the calls and paperwork for him, and she is the one that relayed his response to me. She is a very open minded person in regards to modern life. He is tight with money and didn't want to replace the unit. He told her, "Well I don't see why I need to replace the unit. After all, she's got a black man staying with her sometimes!" I couldn't believe he felt that since I was dating a black man, I didn't deserve to have my a/c fixed. The woman I deal with told my landlord "We are living in a modern world and you need to do what's right, not what you grew up believing." She pays her rent, has two small children and it's 100 degrees outside. She needs a/c and it's your responsibility to fix it. If you're going to be a landlord be one, don't be a slumlord." She also told him if he did not get it replaced she was going to have the company do it and bill her. Then she would take him to court to recoup the money.

I am glad I have her as my middle person, because if I had to deal with my landlord directly I don't think I would be living here long!

In Minnesota most people are accepting of everyone. I knew views were much different in the south, but this is my third time in this area and never imagined being in a situation like that with a landlord! I am still adjusting to the different attitudes here. Notice I said adjusting, not accepting.

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SMMARTIN75's Photo SMMARTIN75 Posts: 210
5/30/09 12:02 P

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I live in Ga and really don't get "stares". My son fortunately is one of the "popular" athletes so things are not bad for him, and my daughter is following in his path. They have friends of all races, as they should. We have been in the same school district since my son started kindergarten and have never had one problem due to race.

The reason I responded to this was to tell of a situation I had. My husband gets paid bi weekly so needless to say when I go to the grocery store I buy for two weeks at a time. I normally go when kids are in school but one day I had my children with me. I always pay with my debit card. Anyway I got in line with my buggy running over and my two biracial children and the man behind me said to his wife well watch her pull out her food stamps!! Well I did not want to make a scene in front of my children so I reached in my purse and pulled out my checkbook and wrote a check. Then I turned around to the man and just smiled and said "Have a great day!!" He turned blood red! But how dare he! Had I been alone he would have never said it! My husband and I have never been on any type of government assistance- never!! He actually has a government job!! People and their stereo types!!

God Bless!
Michelle

We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some are bright, some have weird names, but they all live together quite nicely in the same box!


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LALEINLA's Photo LALEINLA Posts: 31
5/23/09 2:11 P

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Living in south Louisiana things used to be really bad. Sometimes even friendships had to be hidden much less relationships. When I go out in public, I don't pay attention to all the people around me.(I know this could be bad at times.) So I don't notice all of the stares but yes some are still there. While eating out a couple of months ago with the kids, a lady was watching us. And to be honest it took me about 5 minutes to realize WHY she was staring. I laughed and continued to talk with my kids. One day riding down a street with the windows down,(me and the kids) someone yelled hey white girl. It wasn't until I got down the street that I turned to my son and said hey wait he was talking to me. He laughed and said yes. No matter where you live or where you travel to there will be someone somewhere that will stare or say something. It is how you react to it that will make the difference.

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PEYROUX's Photo PEYROUX Posts: 30
5/13/09 4:57 P

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My husband is Latino, and you'd think living in Florida, with a lot of white/Latino couples it wouldn't be an issue, but we got stares, and we got slurs hurled at us ... it used to bother me a lot, but now I ignore it. We're up north now and I don't think it's as bad, but it could be that I'm used to it.

these are the scars you never show...
she's a fire sign, don't you know...


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ADOPTMOM1 Posts: 8,660
4/28/09 8:03 A

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I notice because the kids notice. That and it's hard to ignore them when people come up and ask stupid questions that are none of their business.

Tami

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BLACKANDI's Photo BLACKANDI Posts: 12,645
4/27/09 10:46 A

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We the up north stares he says. Ha! I don't even notice it to tell you the truth.

blacKandi [black-KAN-dee]
Twitter... www.twitter.com/fitKandi


EVERLY78's Photo EVERLY78 Posts: 1,850
4/27/09 9:44 A

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I'm from KY and we used to get the stares in the begining but not so much anymore. My husband and I have been married 14.5 yrs. But now there are so many mixed couples and children now days I think that some people are getting used to it.

Everly


In God we trust!!!



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ADOPTMOM1 Posts: 8,660
4/27/09 8:09 A

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I'm not a southern girl, I'm a Hoosier one. However, I used to work for a company that was headquartered in Spartanburg. I got some pretty interesting comments from some of the people at HQ when we adopted our children. (one is from Calcutta and the other three are AA.) But then that was the company where, when I asked why we didn't get Memorial Day off, I was told "Oh, that's a yankee holiday!" I was just stunned! LOL

It isn't just down south though. We get loads of stares and VERY intrusive questions. I can't tell you how many people have asked us in front of the kids if they're foster kids. They also tend to babble on about god blessing us, which we think is ironic, since we're Humanists.

I was actually pretty impressed a while back when we did a road trip through AR, TX, MS, TN and KY. Especially in Mississippi where I thought we might get some stares. People were very nonchallant about us.

Tami

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KIM122278's Photo KIM122278 Posts: 1,128
4/27/09 4:50 A

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Hello all,
My name is Kim and I live in South Carolina..I've lived in this state almost all of my life, so I consider myself to be a southern girl, but I have to admit that sometimes my husband and I get the "stares." We've been married for almost 4 years and we've been together for almost 7, so we're pretty used to it..We both speak Spanish, so we get even MORE looks..I just wanted to see if others are going or have been thru the same thing. Sometimes we find it funny, but other times it's kinda' annoying.

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