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CAPER1970's Photo CAPER1970 SparkPoints: (347)
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4/23/14 9:18 A

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I've heard it all before too - I'm 6ft1, so when/if I say I'd like to lose 20 lbs, I quite often hear; "why - you're so tall, you can hide any extra weight".

I've tried answering and I have been told more than once that I'm too vain. I can tell you I am anything BUT vain - for me it's about being healthy. Yes I want to look good, we all do, but I don't like feeling sluggish or panting after a few flights of stairs. I have also been getting these terrible pains in my right side when I eat too much or my belly starts getting rounder. I just know what's right for me and what makes me feel good. Why can't people be supportive instead of judgmental?



 current weight: 180.0 
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TJB1536's Photo TJB1536 SparkPoints: (20,391)
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4/21/14 11:25 A

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My heaviest weight was 223 (full-term pregnant with my 2nd child in 2005). That's heavy at any height, but obese for my 5'3 (previously athletic) frame. I worked very hard to lose weight and got down to the low 140's and was wearing a size 8. I was very pleased with that size and content. After I had my 3rd child in 2009 I topped out at 178, not bad considering my previous 2 pregnancies. I worked very hard to lose the weight again. I have a tendency toward OCD so once the weight started coming off I became obsessed. I got down to 120lbs. All I heard was how terrible I looked and that I needed to start eating and stop exercising so much. Admittedly I was thinner than I cared to be but was loving every minute of it. I got tired of the criticism and started to ease up on my new healthier habits. When I started gaining weight I didn't care because truth be told, I did look better in the 130's. However, that's when all my bad habits came back. I had almost completely stopped working out and had slowly started eating fast food and snacking on choclate and other bad foods again. A few weeks ago I got on the scale and was back up to 169lbs. I was disgusted with mywelf.

I always feel like people are judging me. Now because I "let myself go" and before because as one person actually said to my face "crack much?" I'm sure they thought it was funny but the insinuation that I was using drugs to lose weight was actually horrifying to me. I have rejoined weight watchers and am working hard to get my life back in my control. I haven't told many people I'm doing it because I don't want to hear the criticism, whatever it may be. I just want to get back to a happier, healthier me!


Tiffany


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JINX6543's Photo JINX6543 Posts: 603
4/21/14 10:53 A

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I think this all about perspective. That is what we are all saying, isn't it? It's as blind of those of us with 10 or 20 to lose, to mock or judge what an obese person says or thinks as it is for them to say or think it. What a perfect world it would be if it were free of judgement. But we are too human for such perfection.

I was obese once and in situations where I'd see a person who weighed 100 pounds less than me who refused a Monday morning office doughnut, it was natural for me to roll my eyes and think something negative in that moment. Sure, it's envy. If I could only be like that. That size, that strong-willed. Meanwhile, she's thinking the last thing I need is a doughnut! But what if she refused the doughnut because she had just eaten a sausage, egg and cheese biscuit from McDonalds? And what if I ate the doughnut because I recently lost 10 pounds over the past 2 weeks from being diligent daily and felt like I deserved a reward?

I've walked in both pairs of shoes. I've been in both situations. And I still can't always stop myself from judging or saying the wrong thing. That's humanity.

Tina

Literally and figuratively, I will no longer bite off more than I can chew.


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CD14237331 SparkPoints: (30,647)
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4/19/14 1:57 P

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In the past... I told people I'm on a diet and was trying to lose weight. They would either laugh or roll their eyes and make a rude comment about it. So I shied away from it and kept it to myself. I would feel frustrated with the comments they would make. It was okay for them to talk about their diet's and wanting to lose weight but not okay for me because I was smaller in size and weight compared to them.

Today, I don't care anymore what other's think when I talk about me losing weight. I am important too and my health and fitness means a lot to me just like their's does to them. So if they don't like me speaking about it... they have a choice to tune me out, or join in with the conversation and share too. If they are really rude about it, then I have the choice to tune them out, or just walk away and not take it personally.

I don't let them bother me anymore.

My husband's friend's live-in girlfriend who is also short in stature but carries much more weight than I do makes rude comments to me anytime I'm around her. First time meeting her... she makes a snarky unpleasant comment, "Aren't we all skinny!" I wasn't all skinny in my eyes, I just considered it healthy. Skinny to me is ribs showing. When I first saw her... my thoughts were, "Wow! She sure is pretty."

I believe all of us women are sensitive when it comes to our image and body image. We should be kinder to ourselves and to others because we don't know their story and they don't know ours. We should be able to share with one another no matter what.





CD11217813 Posts: 296
5/18/12 7:23 P

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The wild thing is that people aren't aware of the affect that those 25 lbs can have on our body and our self esteem. I carry much more weight than people realize which is why I never tell them, (because they argue, I get on the scale and they see the real number and stare at me). But with the weight gain, it's harder to get out of bed, getting out of chairs is harder, even getting in and out of a car, my balance isn't what it should be and I can feel the weight as I'm walking. The truth is that we aren't in a position where we have hundreds of lbs to lose but we deserve to feel good about ourselves. Those 25 lbs have an impact and therefore have to go!

MARYINMAINE's Photo MARYINMAINE SparkPoints: (0)
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5/7/12 7:06 P

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Congrats to you, Gabrielle, for almost making it to your target! emoticon

 current weight: 121.6 
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PETITGABRIELLE's Photo PETITGABRIELLE Posts: 196
5/7/12 12:19 P

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I've heard all the comments from folks and it's pretty frustrating. I'm not advertising that I'm working on losing weight or getting in shape. I just turn down cookies in the staff room or don't go in on the group pizza. I had someone tell me that she wishes that she were like me and didn't have to think about what I eat and could be naturally skinny. That was when I was 20 pounds heavier and still stretching out my pants!

The comments that I don't have to lose weight or that I should be happy about it I chalk it up to their own jealousy (that they haven't lost weight/started to try) and try to take it as a compliment (not an insult) to me. When the conversation turns to weight loss or exercise (brought on by someone else) I'll ask questions or otherwise show knowledge about the struggles that people go through, but I don't talk about it or start the conversation down that path.

Most of the time when I'm questioned about why I'm eating a certain way I'll talk about it as a health thing-very nonspecific and they can draw whatever conclusions they like.

`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
~Erma Bombeck.


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MASRITE's Photo MASRITE Posts: 17,725
5/7/12 12:41 A

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I wish they had a biggest loser for us where we could just go and work out with the trainers. I don't need to win anything. Just want the opportunity to work out hard like that. Now, that would be awesome!!

Chana

Co-leader Choose to lose carb cycling- Chrispowellteamwww.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=58380

"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."

06/06/09 Climbed Mt. Baldy
06/26/09 Climbed Mt. Whitney
09/26/09 Marine Corp Boot Camp 5K: 24 mins.
6/06/10 Camp Pendelton Mud Run 10K
09/05/10 Climbed Mt. Baldy
06/05/11 Camp Pendleton Mud Run 10K
10/30/11 RnR Hal


 current weight: 123.4 
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DAWNO64's Photo DAWNO64 Posts: 19,588
5/6/12 8:26 P

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Yup, I've heard the same type of crap. It's funny in a bad way. We may not have as much to lose, but what, we're supposed to be morbidly obese BEFORE we try to try to take it off? I mean, really, overweight is still overweight, and it's still a struggle to lose it. And when I was younger and underweight, well, just try complaining about that once. A room full of women will respond with "I wish I had that problem".

Doing my best...one day at a time.


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 current weight: 171.2 
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MASRITE's Photo MASRITE Posts: 17,725
5/5/12 2:01 P

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Oh Mary, I hear you. I'm so there with you. I get that a lot. What people don't see is what's under the clothes. We hide it well, right? I had someone tell me, "When you weigh as much as me, then you can complain." Ok, I'm only 5 feet and 136 lbs. on my frame is a lot. So, yes, I can still wear a size 4 or 6, but I'm not comfortable or happy. Everyone has their issues and feels comfortable differently. Why can't others understand that? I remember once I was at a party and getting dessert: fruit! (I was pretty thin at the time) Someone said to me, "What, you can't eat anything else? You're not on a diet?" I said, "No, not on a diet, but how do you think I stay this way?" I think that was a good answer that put her in her place. So, yes, I'm ready to lose those 20 lbs and I'm hearing, shouting it out to those who get it!!

Chana

Co-leader Choose to lose carb cycling- Chrispowellteamwww.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=58380

"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."

06/06/09 Climbed Mt. Baldy
06/26/09 Climbed Mt. Whitney
09/26/09 Marine Corp Boot Camp 5K: 24 mins.
6/06/10 Camp Pendelton Mud Run 10K
09/05/10 Climbed Mt. Baldy
06/05/11 Camp Pendleton Mud Run 10K
10/30/11 RnR Hal


 current weight: 123.4 
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MARYINMAINE's Photo MARYINMAINE SparkPoints: (0)
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5/5/12 7:19 A

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I'm interested to hear from this group, because we are the ones who have less than 25 pounds to lose. For me, like for many of us probably, more-overweight people roll their eyes or say "Oh, please..." if I so much as mention that I've gained 10 pounds or so and would like to get it off again. When I have the weight on, I change my style of dressing so it's not obvious. That doesn't mean I like dressing that way or being unable to fit into my normal clothes! I've been just telling people "I'm trying to eat healthy" when I don't share in the donuts or other fattening treats. And that is true. But it's annoying that people think you can't possible feel uncomfortable with your weight if you don't have 70 pounds to lose! A few years ago I put on 20+ pounds and I still got that reaction.

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