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Things have not been easy for me, I lose track of time. I still am eating everything in sight. Maintaining where I am but not losing weight. I am really starting to feel drained and all I want to do when I am home is eat sleep and not go anywhere. I really lack the mojo to keep me going on a daily basis. I don't get the family support to keep me motivated either. Out here all alone at least it feels this way:(
Well as I sit back and reflect I have been a spark member since 2008 and I ask myself do you really take this seriously? I would have to say NO! I have been a yoyo dieter for the last 10 years and quite frankly I have gotten nowhere! I my drop 10 or even 20 pounds but never really stick to anything. Why is it so hard to focus on myself and what I need? Well there is this issue of kids, hubby, work & their needs as well as the needs of others. Hmmm I didn’t fit into the picture very well there now did I…
I was always told there is no I in TEAM and as that may be true there is no TEAM in I either. If I don’t learn to take care of me who will? Yes the family will love me for me but I want more then that!
I want & desire to be healthy
I want & desire to defeat my family genes
I want & desire to be fit
I want & desire to be sexy; which joins right in with the next statement
I want & desire to be that piece of eye candy on my hubby’s arm once again
I want & desire to be an excellent role model for my children

So if I want & desire all this things how can I sit back & be a yoyo any longer? I need to become a firm surface the foundation on which a strong family is built on.

I believe that God & my fellow sparkers will support me and help along this journey. Help me to push on when I struggle & cheer for me when I succeed. I know that my family will understand the new lifestyle changes for me will not be easy to overcome but they must be done in order for me to win and achieve all my wants and desires; to be healthy and live a long time for them….

I am on the down hill side to 40; and as I reflect on my life there has been many blessing in my life over the years. God has been so good to me over the course of my life.
It is a shame that it took me so long to see what he has given me.
I may be over weight and hate the way I look or the way others may see me, but this is the life that was created for me. It is always a struggle to see the good in yourself when you can't love what you see. There was a time in my life that I use to judge others for the way they looked or made aweful comments- why I wrote the blog walk a mile in someone's shoes....
The everyday temptaions are so hard to walk by some days and others I can go for weeks and do just wonderfully. This site Has so many wonderful people I am learning so much more the I ever thought I possibly would. They share so much knowledge and life lessons. I spent alot of my life hiding behind alcohol and more recently food addictions! I have over come the alcohol addiction; which was rather easy since God is in my life and well the food addiction is so much hard the temptations are always there! One of the things I have een working on is planning all my meals and keeping them fresh - nothing processed! I will be taking my fitness to the next level adding strength training 3-4 days a week and cardio 6 days a week I can see the transformation taking place!

Day after Christmas 2010 I tore my Achilles Tendon! Not as painfull as I thought it would be. Just now getting ready to start Physical Therapy Feb 28, 2011. I realized how much I need people in my life; I had to rely on so many people while I was laid up and unable to walk. A friend lent me a wheel chair that she had from her mother; that added a whole new freedom especially in the kitchen. I am on the road to recovery and well I know it is a long ways off to full recovery I have you all to lean on and help me limp along! Thanks for all the encouragement along the way.
May God Bless all of you.

Member Since: 10/8/2008

Fitness Minutes: 24,991

My Goals:
Would like to lose 85 pounds
I will lose this weight in a healthy manner 1-2 pound per week traking my accomplishments weekly

My Program:
Currently part of the Duck's twisted boot camp BTB- (back to basics)
I walk at the park or on my treadmill; started hiking parts of app. trail.
Ride my bike on trails or stationary bike
I love tae-bo & Zumba

Personal Information:
I grew up not far from Gettysburg, PA and reside not far from there now. Shippensburg, PA small quaint college town.

Other Information:
With God all things are possible!

Share your knowledge is a way to achieve immortality.

Psalms 118

One out of every 4 people are mentally unbalanced, so think of your 3 closest friends... if they seem OKay, then you are the one!

Don't run, Don't hide from your fears face them like a bull and come out on top!

Find a new person to talk to and become their friend, kindness

Started a weight lifting program again- believe it or not I used to be a body builder! 10 years ago I was prepared for my very 1st competion and well became pregnant and well down hill during my 3rd trimester and have never been the same-this is one of my self pitty moments....

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