My Dream and its impact
Friday, August 01, 2008
A couple of months ago, I had a wonderful experience and I wanted to blog about it again.
For some reason, I feel the need to talk about fear. Fear is gripping mankind in such a way that we are being held captive. I really sense that because of the different disasters we have experienced so far and I believe more are to come, God wants His children to learn how to war against fear now so that when judgement comes--we will be prepared.
Anyway, Fear has been my deepest struggle thus far as a christian and even before I was a christian. Fear in all forms. I, at times have felt like an onion when it comes to fear. Just when I think I have been healed and delivered of it, God unveils or "peels" another layer off only to expose another layer that needs to be delt with. But one fear that really has paralyzed me is the fear of winter driving. Now the root of that fear triggers back to an incident/accident that happened on icy roads almost 12 years ago. Anyway, a couple of nights ago, while I was asleep, the Lord gave me a dream. Now I normally don't remember my dreams, but when I do, they are usually significant. IN this dream, I saw a huge cross. I started walking towards it. As I got closer, I saw Jesus standing beside/in front of it. I drew near to Him, and FACE TO FACE, He said to me, "are you willing to die for Me?"
"Yes, Lord" I said.
Then Jesus said again, "Are you willing to die for Me?"
I looked at Him a bit confused and said again, "Yes Lord, I am."
Then He looked at me again and said, "NO,, are you really willing to die for Me?"
"Yes" I cried
Then I raised my hand up, facing the cross and I saw the nail go into my hand.
Again, I raised my other hand, and a second nail pierced through my hand.
There I was, arms up in complete surrender. I did not feel pain, or fear for Christ Jesus was right beside me. Finally, my feet were pierced and I was in complete surrender.
I realized, that the fear that gripped me, was fear of death. I realized that the root of fear, is death. Whether it is physical death and the unknown, spiritual death or death to self (all the things I want or think I need in life). In that vision or dream, I realized that the fear in me, is self-preservation which is inward pride.
I woke up feeling release. Free. Overwhelmed. And repentant.
That day, I had a meeting with a friend of mine because we were on assignment to go pray at the Legislative building. I was so overwhelmed by the dream because it transcended time and emotion. It was so real and its impact was lasting that I decided I needed to share it with her. As I began to share my experience with her, I noticed she was holding a cross that was attached to her keychain. Her eyes were looking at me intently, but I felt that she really wasn't listening to me. I was right.
She revealed to me that, that morning as she was preparing to leave, the thought of giving me a keychain with a cross on it, just dropped in her mind. She reasoned against it for 2 reasons. 1) She only bought six of them, and I wasn't one of the ones whom she wanted to give them too.. and 2) If it is God speaking to her, then she would wait until Easter to give it to me because it would be more meaningful.
She apologized first to the Lord for reasoning against His instructions, and then she apologized to me because she realized that God had indeed spoken to her about giving me the keychain with a cross on it. Both of us saw the significance of that gift. The cross would remind me of the complete surrender, to physical death--that I would not have to fear death itself for the Lord Jesus is right beside me and one day I will be with Him. I can be assured to that. To spiritual death--Christ took the sting of death therefore I will never die but live eternall!! And death to self and self preservation and though this will be the hardest death--it will be a death worth going through for in death to self, Christ will increase in me and He will be glorified!!!. And the fact that it was a keychain attached to my keys would be another reminder, that even in a car, Jesus is with me, FACE TO FACE.