Still alive . . .
Friday, December 05, 2008
but barely. After I cracked the vertebra, it seems like my body has pooped out on me. I think the vertebra incident was the icing on the cake for my health issues. I go for exploratory surgery on the 17th for my hidden parathyroid glands. I have hyperparathyroidism & it throws the calcium & phosphorus levels way out of whack. High calcium levels mean that the electric rhythm of the heart can fluctuate which in turn means a heart attack. Another worse case scenario would be stroke which runs in my family also. High calcium levels also mean that the body is taking the calcium out of my bones & putting it in the bloodstream-hence the weak bones & lots of bone pain.
I have had to stop running because the pain in my lower back, hips & legs is to the point of being unbearable. I hurt 99% of the day. Tylenol & Motrin don't even touch this kind of pain either. So now I can only walk but even that is nowhere near to what I was doing each week. It's depressing because I had signed up for 5 Nike+ challenges plus my own personal running goals. I won't be hitting those goal anytime soon.
I feel like all of the momentum gained has been slammed against a wall and my only true hope right this moment is that I can regain it wholeheartedly post op. I hope that I am not sounding whiney because I don't like to do that. I am mainly frustrated at wanting to do this full speed ahead to only finding myself stuck in first gear.
I know I will feel better after this is all said & done. I know it & the doc has reinforced it too. Until then though-it will continue to be hell. I am going to continue to pop in & out of here. Try to maintain some semblance of a decent diet and also try NOT to gain any weight back.
I want to thank everyone here at SP. I could not have gotten off my arse without being motivated by the stories, pictures and warm words of encouragement from everyone. Thank you for letting me into your lives and sharing a part of you. To come together with one goal in the forefront of our minds, is a very powerful experience. I think of SP as a new century commune (without the LSD & pot), a place where one can be open & honest, be here & now yet miles and miles apart. Here is where we all speak the same language. Here is where we are safe. Here is another home of the heart.
I will let you all know how surgery goes. Keep your fingers crossed & my kids in your prayers.