2009~Time for change!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Is it really a new year? Boy did time fly by! Well, so far this year has been good to me...lol I've started losing weight again. Again, dang, how many "agains" am I going to start? I want this to be my last "again" because I have found the key to losing weight. Now, this doesn't mean I'm going to be perfect and lose all my weight in one shot but I definitely feel better about myself and my loss than I have in a very long time.
I've discovered that I don't need to stress about the food. I don't need to sweat my brains out 8 hours a day to get results, or starve myself until I binge on what I've been lacking and then throw up! No, No, No. I am done with that supercrap! I want to live and enjoy the foods that God has put on this earth. I want to say YES to a slice of pie or a creamy coffee drink. BUT I need to control myself. See, I've discovered that it's all about control. I can no longer depend on "maybe one day I'll get insurance so I can have surgery that controls me" NO I want to gain control of my body and the food that I put into it.
I've been reading up a lot about weight loss surgery and the effects it has on people. Sure, they lose a lot of weight, but there's a flip side to it...they never gained control of what they were out of control over in the first place which was self control. Almost all of the people that I have met who have had surgery still try to stuff down things they were told not to eat by their doctors. When they were told they can't drink soda, they sneak it and get sick. If it wasn't for the surgery they would continue to spiral out of control because they didn't learn self control.
Self control is hard, so hard, that there are millions of people are overweight because they lack it. Surgery makes you control the amount you put in but many are still making the same choices that they were making before and trying to see what they can "sneak" into their stomachs in the privacy of their own home. How is that something you can be proud of? I want to be proud of my weight loss by gaining control of my eating under my free will and not being "made" to mind by surgery. I don't want to make my body mind by making the food mind through eating "diet" food. I want real food and that is exactly what I'm doing.
I've lost 15 lbs eating this way...normal. I eat when I'm hungry and pay attention to my hunger level. I don't want to eat beyond full anymore. I want to gain control of what I never had control over. Someone really close to me who had the surgery once told me that I don't need surgery because I'm stronger than them. They needed surgery because they were weak. This person weighed over 500 lbs. I was in the lower 400's...you tell me, where was I stronger than her? Was I stronger because I didn't eat my way up to 500 lbs? Was I stronger because I was only in the lower 400's? There was nothing different between her and I other than she had insurance and an outlet to get surgery....to make her body mind. SHE BOUGHT HER CONTROL. I have nothing against weight loss surgery. I think if you are able to lose a certain amount of weight successfully by not starving but learning how to control yourself and you've allowed yourself that opportunity to honestly seek control, then surgery can then be used as a tool not a magic bullet.
So many people use the surgery alone as a means for weight loss and it wasn't intended for that. Many don't exercise or try to eat right, like I mentioned before they try to go back to their old ways of eating but for most, they can't eat the amounts they used to. Please don't think I'm bashing those of you who have had WLS, I think it is wonderful that you have been given a magnificent tool but please use it wisely. Take advantage of not being able to stuff yourself with rot and regain control over what you put into your body.
As for the rest of us who must lose by sweat and tears, focus on you and your body. Love yourself and don't deny yourself of the yummies that life has to offer...gain control. I pray that this year is the year that we achieve all that we couldn't in 2008 and the years past. May you become the person you have always been but in control.
I love you guys and thank each and every one of you for the awesome support that floods my way.